Beyond Control

Chapter 9

There's no outside, there's no trees, no grass. There's not even a disparate color other than the dull white and gray which I see.

I was back in my room, standing at the observation room where the workers sat and the captain leaning against one of the walls as I walked back into my own room deliberately.

The sign had been a trick since the first day. When they were leading me to my room, they purposely did not cover my eyes and made me memorize the hallways and the door with exit sign hung. They'd only wanted me to have a good look at the exit sign and have it inked in my memories while they led me around the hallways repeatedly to mess with my head afterwards to act like the exit wasn't meant to be seen and is not the room I'd been locked in. So when I try to escape I would only remember that the exit sign is the way out but it only leads back to my own room.

Everything had gone the way that they wanted. They made me think that the exit sign indicates the exit, but in reality the room behind the exit sign is just where my cell room is.

I'd been tricked, so where is the exit?

I panicked, I didn't care about any of them who were sitting in the room waiting for me to obstinately return to them unknowingly. I revolved around and bursted myself out of the room.

But I wasn't fast enough, I'd forgotten about the bracelet on my hands. As I turned, I felt a shock run down my veins, freezing my actions and throwing me down onto the floor.

I'd expected them to stagger back and anticipated the enigmatic aura to ripple throughout the room but that didn't happen. Instead, my vision shuts down in a world of darkness and sends me out of my consciousness.

I was in the middle of a flower field, standing independently amidst the indifferent smell of these flowers. They were all yellow sunflowers, half as tall as I am.

I swarmed around the field, my arms warm against the stems as my gaze traced the skirt of the flower. I raised a finger and touched the petals of one, the soft surface brushed against my finger pads.

I smiled, admiring this extraordinary place filled with peace and calm with nothing disturbing. As my heart grows warm against this endless flower field where nothing disparate can be seen from afar.

"What are you hiding, mother?" A voice spoke out of nowhere, a voice like my own as if I'd spoken it before.

I froze, my body still against the waving flowers sent by the sudden wind, strongly pushing them against me. Then, they returned to their previous position, stilled as ever, as if the wind hadn't landed a touch on them before. I set myself down in the flower field, sinking half of my height into them as I reached a hand out to the flowers.

The flowers leaned into my palm as I felt the wind blowing again, lightly brushing against my palm. I swept my gaze around the field, noticing the changes in the sky that was bright and sunny a few seconds ago had shifted into a dark shaded cloudy sky. The clouds were a dark shade of gray as if a war was waging behind them.

There was thunder roaring above the clouds and the wind blew exceedingly aggressively. I sat in the flower field, my face constantly being poked by the dancing flowers hung at the end of the string by the winds as its puppeteers.

This is horrifying, I thought as the world shifted dimmer and dimmer till I could only see those things that are within my reach. I wish to bury myself in the stems of flowers, to hide from this mysterious and awful world but I knew that I wouldn't be able to see a thing if I'm lying on the ground. The fact that I couldn't see what's under my feet when I'm laying down is as terrifying as living in utter darkness.

"Crystal." A voice called, low and monotonous. It sounded like a woman's voice but it sounded dead and dull. I stood up and began pacing towards that direction but then I stopped.

I shouldn't be heading towards the direction where the horrendous voice of an unknown person just called my name. When I turned then, I saw a path of black shaded flowers behind me where I just walked along. Though my vision is vague and unclear, I perceive that the flowers around the area where I did not touch are still in its bright yellow color.

I followed the trail of darkened sunflowers just to see that it only commenced where I began walking. I reached my hand to the other ones which are still bright in yellow, appearance still lovely though they live under a shade of darkness.

The yellow shifted into a shade of gray, then gradually merging its appearance with the black flowers beside it. My eyes widened, withdrawing my hand and stuck by my chest. My gaze searched for any other causes other than my touch, anticipating paranormal appearance but all I could conclude is the fact that I am alone in this realm with this curse gift that I have.

"Stop ruining it." A voice that brings that another horrendous memory, harsh and impatient.

"You're cursed." Another familiar voice that's seemingly directed at me.

Before I turned to run, a chain of voices spoke from different sides, surrounding me but I still couldn't see who's speaking though I already knew who's voice, that is, no one else is in this realm except me.

I ran and ran, sprinting until those voices turned into a repetitive chain of words that looped around my head that I dropped to the ground. I heard ringing by my ears as nausea filled my vision.

I raised my head up just to see the same shade of darkness that surrounded me since long ago, it gently moved closer to me as I collapsed on the ground. The flowers that turned into black surrounded me, wilting as the fresh skirt of the flower began to dry out.

Then, all I could see was pitch black, like void, I couldn't see what's around me, not anymore. Indifferent to blindness, I could feel but not see. My worst fear had made me lightheaded.

I tried to stand up again, but I felt my energy drained and my exhaustion causing me to pant expeditiously. I could feel the stems of those flowers in that flower field with my finger and that is the only thing keeping me company.

When those chains of voice ceased, I felt a force heaving me up. I shrieked and threw my hand around, struggling to grab hold of the plant's stems.

I didn't know what was pulling at me, there's no attachment to me that could make it possible. But I feel that the force isn't pulling me away from the flower fields, it's pulling me out of the dream.