Warning!!!!!: this one is WAYYY more inappropriate and vulgar than my previous chapters so yeah. Also it mentions rape so if that freaks you out, you should prob skip this one... that's all
Jakeypooalpha69 pov:
"ANYWAYS STUDENTS," the stupid teacher guy who's name I forgot (Mr. Roach) yells, "I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE SO LISTEN UP FUCKAS"
Ughh, he's honestly so annoying. Like how dare he insult ME—well everyone, but I'm included so that makes me mad!!!! I AM A SIGMA ALPHA HE CAN'T DARE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!! MY OLD PEDO DAD IS THE ALPHA KING!!! THE DISRESPECT!!!!
Suddenly I magically have a plan to get him in trouble...>:)
"SO THERE ARE LIKE AFTER SCHOOL SPORTS NOW AND I TEACH THEM 'CAUSE THE OLD, CRIPPLED PE TEACHER DIED! IDK HOW THOUGH, HE JUST DIE-" The stupid, ugly, and pathetic teacher almost gets to finish his dumb announcement, but I hotly cut him off.
"MR. ROACH RAPED ME!!!!"
It's truly a genius lie😈😈😈 honestly I should've made the honors roll...😠👿😡
The class erupts into startled and surprised gasps. Then, none other than Charles asks,"HE REALLY RAPED YOU WHEEEEEEEE!??!??"
"YEAH!!" I yell in response, "HE RUBBED MY ASS CHEEKS THAN STUCK HIS DICK IN BETWEEN THEM!!! IT WAS SO WRINKLY AND SMALL!!! THAT WHORE PROBABLY GAVE ME CRABS!!"
"THATS CAP!!!!" Mr. Roach defends, "THE ONLY PERSON I'VE RAPED IS MY DAUGHTER!!"
Wait what?!?!! Ew...
I turn to my left and see Y/N gazing at my with both sympathy and empathy in her sparkly eyes. Like I need her pity for something that never happened🙄🙄🙄!!!
Suddenly 5 FBI agents in black jump into the room from the roof. 4 of them are pointing their guns at Mr. Roach, while the other guy is holding an elephant. Elephant guy throws the elephant at Mr. Roach—which holds him down—then tells the others one simple word, "shoot."
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG RUFHSHHEUCHAJDNDKW
The 4 men shoot their guns at the dumb teacher repeatedly, L.
Once the men stop, the elephant guy says, "thanks, Shurgula."
"No problem," the elephant replies before getting off ugly teacher and cartwheeling away.
How the fuck did the elephant come out unharmed?!???!!?? I well, idc, least that teacher is dead🥰
YOU ARE READING
The Life of JakeyPooAlpha69 •it's satire I swear•
HumorJake just isn't like the other boys... he's an alpha wolf OWWUUUUHHHHHHHHHH Inspired by a y/n book I can't remember the title of this is rated mature because of swearing and sexual stuff... no detailed sexual stuff though Istg this is satire!
