⚠️Warning!⚠️
⚠️Warning!⚠️
⚠️Warning!⚠️
This chap will like have self harm soooo yeah but uhmm I'm gonna try and make it funny and stuff
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Jakeypooalpha69 Pov:
I woke up this morning to realize that I fell asleep watching Love Life... And porn... Roblox porn... But not even that cheered me up... Life is meaningless...
I mean, I hate life... what's even good about it...? Aside from porn... and the Lorax... and rengoku... and the rengoku doin' himself manga... and FishCumJuice High Addition... and- and... see, I can't even think of anything else... I'm just so depressed and emo and sad.
I feel thick tears roll down my face as I think about this stuff... the tears thicker than Y/N's thighs...😭😭😭
WAAAaaaaaahhAAAhhhWAAHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA😭😭😭
OH Y/N! HOW COULD SHE DO THIS?!?!?!? HOW COULD SHE RAIL BRENNIFER?!?!?!?! OJDKDIDJSUDHABDJSBkdhakxhksbxisgxOSHSJVDIAHSUDGAUSGSJWHWJ
IM SO BETRAYED AND SAAAAAAAAD!!!!
WAAAaaaaaahhAAAhhhWAAHHHHHHHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA😭😭😭
I mean— WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?
I sob for the next 9264826386382 hours, thinking about how cruel this world is... what's even the point of anything...? I'm so emo and broken and empty and sad and depressed and emo an- oh... I already said emo... how emo of me
After my crying ceased, a strong, warm light beamed into my blood red, emo orbs. I turn my head to the source of the light and see my dick shaped window... with the emo Lorax curtains wide open...
THE LIGHT!!! OH THE LIIIIGGGHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!! IT BURNNNNNNNSSSSSS!!!! IM WATCHING MYSELF bbbbuuuuUuUuUuuUuUUUUUUUUuuuuuuUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN🔥🔥🔥
I let out a hiss sound,
"HIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!"
Since I'm emo I can't be in the light... or is that a vampire thing... idk...
Anyways, I sprint to the windows and go to close the curtains but I see something out the window. A LITTLE BOY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! The child is going to get hit by a car and die a long, painful, agonizing, bloody, violent, excruciating, gut-wrenching, traumatic, awful, cruel, torturous death unless I save him!
I jump head first out the window, shattering it in the process. I then somersault down the sidewalk at full speed. Once I get to the end of the sidewalk, I hop on my penis to the middle of the road where the little boy is. He has shaggy, blond hair and green feet. When I make it to the kid I push him to the ground. He falls flat on his face then gets hit by a bus followed by 10 more buses. Ha! I howl with laughter!!
That was hilarious! He died hahahahha! Lmao!! Imagine dyi— wait... did I just... LAUGH?!? I'm emo and broken and depressed, I can't laugh! I'm NOT laughing!! In fact, I'm walking away.
I begin walking back home— like I said— but I see a flash of red in the corner of my eye... I turn to it and see that it's a fire hydrant... this gives me an emo depressed broken sad emo idea...
I fly with my big, strong, emo arms to the fire hydrant. Once I reach it, I rip it out of it's fire hydrant sockets with only, 0.0006969% of my strength. I then rush back to my house with the fire hydrant in hand and jump into my home through the window.
When I'm inside I stare at the fire hydrant in my hand... God, I'm so emo...😔
I take the object and gently press it against my wrist... the cold object causes blood to pool on my arm. The fire hydrant is... soothing...
I repeat this 85748273829 more times on each arm... going deeper and harder😩 each time...
So emo..
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Howdy, this is the end of the chapter. Poor Jakeypooalpha69, all of that was so emo :((((( . Anyways, idk what to say-
Byeee
Have a good day/night:)
• 619 words •
YOU ARE READING
The Life of JakeyPooAlpha69 •it's satire I swear•
HumorJake just isn't like the other boys... he's an alpha wolf OWWUUUUHHHHHHHHHH Inspired by a y/n book I can't remember the title of this is rated mature because of swearing and sexual stuff... no detailed sexual stuff though Istg this is satire!
