The Proposal

27 - Mistake

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I thought that it was awkward after Nicholas and I kissed, but after we had sex, I saw the real definition of awkwardness.

It had been four weeks, one whole month, and we had not said a single word to each other. It was freaking awkward. It was so awkward to the extent that he finally let me have my own room, not caring what Elisabeth had to say about it.

I didn't know how to feel about it.

The fact that we just had sex and he pushed me away, far away from him and his presence. It made a lot of thoughts go through my mind.

Did he not want me?

Did he regret it?

Did he just use me?

Considering I already had past trauma from all my exes using me just for my body and then dumping me, I felt heartbroken and shattered.

I had thought of Nicholas as a gentleman, a man of honor, an outspoken king, but seeing as he couldn't even look me in the eye for two seconds said a whole lot about him that I didn't know of.

I deserved to know the truth, I deserved to know what he thought about me, and I deserved to know why he let me get intimate with him if he wasn't ready to face the reality of the aftermath.

I wanted to know why he had ignored me for 4 whole weeks.

I could barely talk to him, mostly because he was avoiding me. He was never at the palace, I never saw him, and even when I did, he would immediately walk quickly away from me.

It hurt. It hurt so bad.

I felt like I had been fooled all over again after I told myself that I would never be fooled by another man. It made me want to regret having sex with him. But I didn't regret it. On the contrary, I loved that I did. I loved the sex. It was incredible, but I wanted more.

I wanted it to be just more than sex.

Who was I kidding? This was a freaking contract, and I messed it up. We were supposed to pretend to be married, but I stupidly went to fall for him.

Damn it, Crystal!

I was frustrated.

One evening, I couldn't take it anymore. My heart ached, and I just needed to talk to him. I needed to know the truth once and for all, positive or negative.

So I went to his room and waited for him, I knew if I asked to talk to him, he would probably not accept so I waited for him in his room so he couldn't easily run away.

The moment he opened his door and walked in, he halted as soon as he set eyes on me.

"What are you doing here, Crystal? This isn't your room anymore. " his statement stung me, but I ignored it and stood up.

"We need to talk, Nicholas," I told him.

"We have nothing to talk about," he immediately dismissed as I predicted, walking towards his cabinet to take off his watch.

"I disagree," I countered, "we have to talk Nicholas," I repeated.

"Fine, talk." he turned around and looked at me. His expression was emotionless. I heaved a sigh, not knowing where to begin.