Mr Fucker 🤑🖕 (Craig tucker x Reader!)

God you two are disgusting 💀💀

If you have a look at my profile, you will see that I posted about a teacher who has been horrible to the kids in my brother's class. Update on her: she won't be coming back to the school 🤣🤣🤣 TAKE THAT BITCH 💀💀

Craig pov 👍

I wake up and sit up in my bed, only to find that Y/n is holding on for dear life. Her eyes slowly open and she tries to pull me back down. I laugh at her neediness (I'm fucking surprised that's a word 💀💀) and lower myself back into the mattress. 

(Idk if this should be a paragraph change but it's happening anyway 😭)

As we're laying down, I notice her looking at my lips a lot, trying to get my attention. I roll my eyes and nod and she comes in to kiss me. 

We end up making out for quite a while, not even paying attention to the time. But we know we can't continue what we had going on earlier. My parents will be home today and so will Tricia and I do not need her seeing that. While I might show I don't like her, I still care about her and her 'innocence' if she even has any left 💀 look at that, aren't I good at speaking emoji! Wouldn't you agree, reader? (I know I do say 'save the fourth wall' and that shit but that motherfucker can die in hell for all I care 💀💀) I am unfortunately still her brother, so I can't help but care a little tiny bit for her. Like your parents slither of cake at their fucking birthday party. And we did promise Nichole that we wouldn't do it while they were over :) ... she never said anything about when they were asleep thoo 😊

Ur pov bbgs

We continue making out until we are interrupted by a cough. I reluctantly break the kiss and stare at the person who coughed. "What" they give me a confused look. 

"Wdym 'what'?? Do you mean WHAT is wrong with you two?" I raise an eyebrow/eyebrow bone ig "you just don't care?"

"What the fuck are you on about bro? Care about what??"

They stare at us in disbelief "you two aren't a tad bit embarrassed about being caught making out?" 

Me and Craig burst into laughing. It's surprising that Craig laughed but hey it was pretty fucking funny. "No!" I say between fits of laughter. 

"Your all our friends, why would we care?" Craig continues for me. 

"You're my friend??" Cartman asks Craig and makes a 'cute' face. (Even tho we know that isn't humanly possible for Cartman, let's just go with it for now, bro has enough to deal with 💀💀) 

"No." Craig replies. (W Craig) Kyle chuckles and smirks at Cartman. Cartman scoffs in reply. 

"Yeah Cartman your barely considered a friend." Stan says. Cartman looks down at the ground and pouts. They're a bit hard on him. He obviously carries the show! #FuckTheFourthWall they clearly all don't know that tho. I guess they also wouldn't know that half of them are basically side characters. (Don't even correct me guys 😭) 

Timmy sipk 😍🔫

As we're all talking and eating our fucking breakfast that definitely isn't maccas and it's is a home cooked meal Tricia suddenly comes into the room and sits with us. We kinda stare at her and wait for her to tell us when she got here and why she's with us, not like we had a huge problem with her tho. (not including Craig) "What?" He snarls at her. 

"I just wanted to sit with you guys." She responds. The girls swarm her and start asking her tons of questions about school and stuff, wanting to see if they could remember any of the work she would mention. "On second thought I have some homework I need to be doing sooo I should probably get that done" she dashes off and up the stairs into her room. I chuckle. I can't imagine how awkward it would be if I was a 7th grader (listen guys idk I did my research, correct me if I'm wrong 😭) surrounded by grade 11 girls asking me about my fucking math homework. Mostly because I didn't really interact with the older kids back then. 

Time skip lmao I wanna get this chapter over with I just want the streak 💀💀 

We got bored and started playing super smash bros and Mario cart, and Jesus I can't even tell you how much Wendy DOMINATED us in Mario cart! She's a terrible driver, (girls can drive good not all girls are bad drivers, just Wendy atm) so none of us expected her to be so good!

"Hey guys wanna play smash or pass, fictional characters edition?" Kenny suggests. 'Ok's and 'sure's come from everyone in the room and we sit in a circle. Kenny goes first "Craig, Fiona from Shrek, smash I vote smash" 

He looks at Kenny with the most emotive face I've ever seen come from him. And it wasn't a good one. "EW! NO! PASS PASS PASS!!!!" He yells. I snicker and we move on to the next person: Stan.

"Ok uhhhmmm" while Stan thinks I turn to Craig. 

"Hey can you just promise that you won't be mad if I say smash to anyone?" I whisper 

"Promise, same goes for you please and thank you." I nod.

"Oh! Y/n, I know you like F/s, c/y/a/t (character you're attracted to (from your favourite show))I pick pass btw" 

I smirk. How could I turn down the offer to fuck c/y/a/t? "Hard smash" everyone looks shocked. Probably because Craig isn't mad about it. 

"Craig, you're not mad?" Wendy asks him. He shakes his head. "Why not?" She asks

"It's her favourite character and she tells me how cute they are daily, I know way better than to be a guy who controls his partner and what fictional characters they like." He replies, keeping his monotone voice and facial expression. Everyone looks shocked but we continue on with the game. 

We keep going until my turn, I'm at the end.. 

"Umm okk.. how abouttttt..." I look around the circle. I smirk when I decide my person. "Butters." I'm generally surprised no one has done this yet! "Smash or pass.. Kenny..?" Butters turns red. 

"Hey! That doesn't count! I'm not fictional!" Kenny says angrily. I chuckle and the author spawns behind me and throws a brick at Kenny.

"Reference to my Kyle x reader btw guys!" She says excitedly. "Kenny, from my perspective.. you are fictional.. you ALL are fictional.." we hear a bang.

"Oh shit! Now the fourth wall is gone again, leave the thing alone, Olivia!" Kyle complains. 

"Make me, Jew" she scoffs.

"Sure thing, Cartman" he growls 

She rolls her eyes and throws a brick at him, but luckily he dodges. She then leaves in her fucking cloud of smoke, like always. I roll my eyes at her brick throwing. She really needs to stop using the bricks from the fourth wall that SHE knocked down to hurt people! 

1173 words baba grillions! Hope you enjoyed me breaking the fourth wall, and my references! #TheFourthWallDeservesDeath ! Say it with me kiddos! TheFourthWallDeservesDeath! TheFourthWallDeservesDeath! Join 👹👹👹👹anyway Ily and let's keep up this streak baba grills!