A Ballad of Snakes and Shadows // A Dark Sebastian Sallow Romance

Chapter Nine: Nazareth

Nazareth - Sleep Token 

CW: Sexuality, dry humping

I simmered in the heat of a warm bath after Ominis left. It was too late for me to go see Poppy, given that the clock had read that it was nearly four in the morning. I could have snuck around the castle, I thought as I ran the bath sponge over my arm.

With how tired I was, I wasn't sure if I would be able to cast a convincing disillusionment charm though. Getting caught by righteous prefects was not on my list of things to do tonight - not when they could send me straight to the Headmaster.

If Black was somehow involved in what happened to the students and in league with those dark wizards, I couldn't risk it. That meant he knew I was caught up in whatever schemes were going on in the dark.

So instead I hid in the pleasant depths of my bath to ease the anxiousness in my belly. There were so many questions in my mind. It felt like they were all speaking at the same time and it was growing harder to determine which one was the most important.

Is Poppy okay? Where had they taken her? Why had they taken her? Did she get a good look at that prince? Does she know about Sebastian? Is he involved? Why did they bring her back?

I groaned as the inner chatter carried on the entire time I washed myself until I cleansed my brain of the incessant noise.

Now there was only one voice left - one that had been louder than the rest.

How am I going to face her after failing her?

That question made the entire bath feel cold despite it continuing to fill the room with steam.

I didn't want to imagine the possible look of disappointment in Poppy's eyes, nor did I want her to see the shame in mine. The only thing I would be able to do when I saw her was say that I was sorry.

I'm sorry I could not keep you safe - I'm even more sorry that it took you being kidnapped for me to find my strength again.

I'm sorry, Poppy.

There wouldn't be an apology large enough to convey how much I regretted my inability to do anything until it had been too damn late. All the effort that had been poured into being the person I had once been, even after her disappearance, was being snuffed out as the minutes went by. For that I would have to apologize too.

New doubts and fears had crept into the cracks of my brand new resolve. I wasn't sure I could keep that resolve in place, not while Sebastian played these sick mind games with me.

Especially given that the tiniest notion of him being an inch away from me made my body fucking useless.

Soothing myself had been for nothing as fear crept back into my chest. There was a truth that had refused my attempts of scrubbing it off and instead it had soaked into my skin.

Sebastian still meant something to me, even now - despite what he had become.

That was terrifying given what his agenda seemed to look like from my perspective. It wasn't simple revenge, not a child's wish of getting back at me.

This felt like revenge by means of a slow death. Something merciless and meant for only him to enjoy. I would bleed out in his hands, wishing for the blood to drain out of me a little quicker. It would dry up before I hemorrhaged and he'd just start the process all over again.

Why, though? I wondered as I rose out of the bath.

I assumed it would have been better to just kill me and be done with it - Sebastian had never been one to waste his time when he wanted something. So why drag out the suffering? And why was seducing me in the same hand as torturing me?