skater boy - sapnap

chapter 14- off track

"so, how do we talk about this?" i ask. "do we just... make a video and announce 'hey guys! yes we are actually dating! stop bashing us online!'"

"that just sounds unnatural," sapnap replies. "we don't mention the online bashing. we just say that we are a happy couple and sorry we didn't tell everyone earlier, we just weren't sure how they were gonna react."

"you're both so far off track," noel sighs, putting his head in his hands. "you're lucky you have me as a relationship coach."

"self-appointed," i mutter.

"that's besides the point."

"well, if we're so 'off track' as you say, then how are we supposed to do this?" sapnap asks. "pardon me for not knowing, i've never been in a fake relationship before."

"aww, i'm your first?" i say.

"don't be weird."

"i'm flattered, actually."

"it's not like you have any experience, either."

"oh, i've been in plenty of fake relationships. you're far from the first." sapnap sits up in his seat.

"what?" he asks.

"she's kidding," noel says, his voice already exhausted. "anyway, back to the point, the way you tell them you're in a relationship is-"

"a stream!" i interject. "get some enthralling title like 'BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!' and then BAM. kiss each other on camera."

"i'm not kissing you on camera," sapnap sighs.

"you already have."

"not intentionally!"

"no! both of you just shut up for a second and listen!" noel says over us. "the way you do it is by not saying anything at all!" sapnap and i look at him, our eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"huh?" we ask.

"the immediate jumping online to announce 'hey we're dating!' right after being put under fire looks suspicious. as much as i hate to agree with this burner account, they had a point when they said that you guys have never smiled at each other or held hands. how would two people that are constantly bickering and never show any affection suddenly be dating?" he pauses. "what you're gonna have to do right now is completely ignore these comments."

"so we just sit around and do nothing?" sapnap asks.

"no, you're just not going to say anything. actions speak louder than words, you know."

"i still don't follow." noel sighs at our confusion.

"keep going out and keep attending parties, but do so together. and while you're out, hold hands, smile at each other, kiss each other on the cheek, whisper to each other, laugh together, just have some cute little couple moments. prove that you're a couple before you even say anything. and eventually, when the press dies down a little and people assume that you guys are together, you can slowly ease into talking about the topic."

sapnap and i stare at noel in shock.

"what?" noel asks.

"when did you become so... wise?" i ask. "didn't you fail your math final?"

"first of all, i got a D. second of all, you know what final i got 100% on?"

"which one?"

"psychology." noel smirks and crosses his arms. sapnap snorts and i roll my eyes.

"so, when should we start?" sapnap asks.

"today might be good. the sooner the better," noel says. "are you guys free?"

"no," i say. "i have work."

"about that..." noel tenses up his body, bracing for the impact of my reaction to what he's about to say. "you should probably quit."

"what?!"

"listen to me before you freak out: you and sapnap have a lot of eyes on you now. people will find out where you work, and will visit to swamp you with questions that you're not going to want to answer. or maybe they'll even come to harass you." he sighs. "you don't really need that job. streaming is enough to cover your part of the bills. i have a feeling you're mostly at that job cause you enjoy it."

i look down at my feet. noel's completely right, as per usual, but i've been working there for years. i feel like i can't just quit. and what about mr. and mrs. robinson? they've turned into grandparent figures for me, and if i stop working at the cafe i might not ever see them again.

"do i have to..?" i ask reluctantly.

"no, but i strongly suggest that you do."

"he's right, cass," sapnap interjects. "fans do weird shit sometimes. i wouldn't put it past anyone to track you down and harass you. stuff like that and more has happened before and will happen again."

i look at the ceiling and let out an exasperated sigh.

"alright. i'll put in my two weeks today."

"i'm sorry," noel says.

"sorry for what?"

"sorry it had to come to this. i know you-"

"it's fine," i interrupt. i don't want him or sapnap to pity me, and i especially don't want them to express their pity for me. "like you said, i don't need that job and i get paid more for streaming."

the two boys nod in silence, both sensing that if they say more i'd probably freak out.

"well, now that the plan is in order, are we done here?" sapnap asks.

"we still haven't figured out a day to initiate this plan." noel turns to me. "cass? are you available tomorrow?"

i cross my arms and nod.

"sapnap?"

he nods as well.

"then let's talk about plans for tomorrow. a first date, if you will."

"don't refer to it as a date," i scrunch my nose in disgust.

"a first fake date." noel rolls his eyes. "happy now?"

"yes. very," i reply sarcastically. noel narrows his eyes at me and gives me a fake smile.

"moving on! i don't really care what you guys do tomorrow, but i think-"

"i have something in mind," sapnap says. noel and i look at him.

"what are you thinking?"

"well, i'd rather it be a surprise." he smiles mischievously.

"i don't like the sound of that."

"neither do i," i agree with noel.

"you'll enjoy it. i'll stop by tomorrow evening to pick you up."

i nod slowly. noel smiles excitedly.

"sounds like operation cassnap is underway!" he says.

"we aren't actually dating!" i cry exasperatedly.

"i'm aware, but operation 'cassia and sapnap fake dating but not actually dating because if i ever so much as imply that the two of them have a little bit of chemistry cassia would kill me and make sure no one knows where my body is hidden' is a bit of a mouthful, don't you think?"

(A/N i can't find the screenshot i took but we got #1 in the rivalstolovers tag. how did that happen)

(also hitting 7k reads and exactly 500 votes at the same time? u guys are the best ily)