skater boy - sapnap

chapter 36- public

"that was the most pressure i've felt in a long time," i whisper to sapnap as we go backstage after the panel had concluded.

"it was, wasn't it?" he replies, wiping his forehead. "you did well, though. really well. i'm impressed."

"thanks, and your improv skills weren't half bad."

"i think you mean that they were stellar."

"whatever helps you sleep at night."

the two of us find noel outside of the hall, who's squealing with delight when he sees us. he runs up and throws his arms over the two of us, catching both sapnap and me off guard.

"who died?" i ask.

"everyone in the audience! you gave them all heart attacks with how disgustingly, vomit-inducingly romantic you guys were!" noel answers happily. he lets go of us. "seriously! i heard what people were saying, they're so excited! and you guys really took my lessons to heart, i'm amazed. even you, casserole. you did pretty well."

"only pretty well? i needed to be perfect!"

"you were perfect, he's just teasing," sapnap says.

"you think she's perfect?" noel asks.

"we're in public."

"right. we're in public, so keep your lovey-dovey shit to yourselves."

"since we're in public, shouldn't we be super over the topic with the lovey-dovey shit?" i retort.

"not while i'm around. you did enough of that at the panel."

"cry about it."

there are no other panels that we're speaking at that day, so the rest of the day goes by as the beginning half did- pictures, booths, dropping into other panels, more pictures, merch, confirming that everyone heard what we said at the panel correctly, confirming that we really are dating, some more pictures, interacting with other streamers, walking around, doing the various activities that are scattered throughout the convention center...

at dinner time, noel separates from us to hang out with alex. he says it's because he's tired of third wheeling and is tired of looking like a loser taking pictures of us with fans. sapnap and i both agree that it's understandable, so we wander throughout the convention center looking for somewhere to eat.

"i just realized you never branched off to go with your friends all day," i say randomly as we enter a food court area. "you could've done that, you know?"

"what makes you say that?" sapnap asks, not meeting my gaze as he stares at the titles of the food chains.

"well, i was just thinking that you'd want to go with them."

"why would i?"

"because they're your friends?"

"i guess." i furrow my eyebrows at his unwillingness to go along with this conversation.

"so why-"

"because i wanted to spend the day with you." sapnap interrupts, his voice stern. "is that so bad?"

"i didn't mean-"

"do you think i'm forcing myself to hang out with you for PR?" sapnap lowers his voice and his teeth are gritted, trying to make sure people can't read his lips in case someone's recording. "do you think i'm secretly miserable after that panel and that i've been secretly miserable all day?"

"sort of..?"

"is that how you've felt all day?"

"... i didn't say that."