skater boy - sapnap

chapter 24- act

"how is everyone doing today?" sapnap asks after a couple of minutes, after the twitch notification has gone out and people actually start joining the stream. i can feel some of my muscles start twitching and my hands shaking pretty violently. why are they shaking? i've done this so many times before. this shouldn't be any different than any other-

sapnap mutes the stream quickly as he momentarily turns to me.

"you good?" he asks.

"mhm," i reply. he reaches over and gently takes one of my hands in his, noticing how badly it's shaking. he looks at the hand before looking at me, a soft look of concern in his eyes. i shake my head, trying to signal him not to worry about it, then cast a glance at the setup before us.

"they can't see us yet and we're muted," he reassures me.

"okay, well..." i sigh, not expecting myself to actually open up to him. "i'm scared about how people are gonna react. and i've never streamed in real life with another twitch streamer before. let alone someone as popular as you. i guess i'm..."

"nervous?"

"petrified is the word i was going to use."

"don't be. it'll be just like we rehearsed. everything will go according to the script. it has to for the plan to move forward."

he gives my hand a reaffirming squeeze and for a moment i allow myself to pretend that none of this is fake, that he truly wants to reassure me and it's not just so this backfires in his face and ruins his career. that he truly cares about me and not just about the money this stream will rake in. that the squeeze meant "i'm here for you" rather than "don't fuck this up or else we're both in trouble."

i nod, casting aside the humiliation i feel for acting so vulnerable and allowing myself to think those thoughts. he nods back, letting go my hand, and turns the mic back on.

"sorry guys," he says casually. "technical difficulties..." the white lie slips off his tongue so easily that it's slightly concerning.

the camera turns on and sapnap gives a mischievous smile to the camera, pointing at me.

"special guest today," he announces. "cassia!" he walks over and smoothly puts his arm around my shoulder, and i feel my breath hitch for a short moment.

just like we rehearsed... i tell myself. it's nothing more than what we've been practicing...

"hi," i say awkwardly, giving a little wave. why did i wave? that looked stupid. i looked stupid.

"today we're making a cake. because... it's almost cassia's birthday!"

"my birthday was in october."

"oh. right. umm... the cake is for..."

"an early celebration of twitch con!" i announce excitedly, shrugging sapnap's arm off my shoulders. "you guys should stop by if you can, we're both gonna be there and might be participating in some fun panels..." the tone in my voice is convincing, and i'm surprised how easily i came up with that excuse. i guess his lying rubbed off on me.

"that's a better idea. an early celebration of twitch con." sapnap nods, grabbing the box from the side of the counter. "we're both kind of useless at this thing, so we had to get the premade box stuff. don't kill us."

"speak for yourself, i'm not half-bad."

sapnap gives me a doubtful look with a half-smile on his face that almost makes me weak in the knees. almost.

"you sure about that?" he asks. "because last i heard, your brother does all the cooking for you."

"last i heard, you forgot that i worked in a cafe and know a lot of baking secrets."