"ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀ ʙᴀᴅ ᴅᴇᴄɪꜱɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ"
from being skating competitors to twitch rivals, cassia black and sapnap have never gotten along. but one party has the power to change everything, and now they have to learn to get along to uphold their...
my heart is in my throat. my entire body feels like it's floating.
"i fell in love with you long before i had to guts to tell you."
i get up and start pacing back and forth in my room. i can't sit still. my mind is racing, so my feet might as well be, too.
"i insisted that i could never, ever fall in love with you. what a pitiful attempt at a lie that was."
i chew my fingernails anxiously. he meant everything he's been saying to me. he's meant it for a long time. he meant what he said at the panel, he meant what he said to my mother, he meant what he said in the ballroom.
i sit back down then stand immediately back up. i change into pajamas and wash off my makeup. i throw the pillow that has makeup smudged on it onto the floor as i sit on my bed, just to instantly bounce back up once again.
i can't sit still.
nothing is still. not my mind, not my body, not even the environment outside, the raindrops hitting my window being a constant reminder of that.
so i continue to pace around my room, randomly stopping to stare at myself in the mirror or stare at the glass of water by my bed. i don't touch it, even though my throat is dry and my head is pounding. i don't want to mess up one of the only things he left behind.
do i wish he had stayed? no. because then i would've had to continue pretending to be asleep. and i don't think i could've done that. which would have resulted in a very awkward conversation-
oh shit. we're gonna have to talk about this at some point.
i sit down on my bed, my hand clutching my racing heart. how am i supposed to act around sapnap now? i can't just tell him that i know about what he said- he isn't ready to tell me to my face yet. nor do i think i even know how to reply right now.
i guess it is nice having this sentiment. knowing that someone, let alone him, loves me.
it's also nice knowing that i can rub this in his face eventually and make fun of how he broke the rules.
then again, i definitely i did too, didn't I?
(A/N just a little anecdote before we go back into the main plot)
(also i think about this daily)
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