Never Let Go||A Destiel AU Fanfiction

Chapter 3

"Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood." - George Orwell

~

Cas' Point of View

They looked so happy with each other.

Cas was glad that pretty Lisa had found someone, she was eventually going to land with someone, she was a beautiful young girl after all. A pure soul also, always smiling when Castiel felt like shit. It was almost enough to lift Cas' moods.

Dean seemed to be a good person. The way he treated Lisa made Cas somewhat a bit jealous. Not because Lisa had found someone that wasn't him, but because Castiel yearned to have love. Someone that he can trust with any secrets, with any stories, with anything. He wanted a person to tell him they love him, for someone to hold him between their arms throughout the good and bad.

Cas honestly didn't care if the relationship lasted a month, or less then that, he just wanted to be someone's special person. Considering the fact that Cas is getting worse every day, he would probably never have someone that falls in love with him.

Castiel knew he was really sick. Not only does he feel like crap, he could see it in his doctor's stormy eyes, the pity radiating off them. Cas already knew that he wasn't going to get better, no matter how many pills, no matter how many treatments, there wasn't a cure for whatever he had.

Cas sighed as he stared down at the new pills, he lost count how many pills Lisa gave him everyday, each one a different color, different size. Ranging from white to grey and pea sized to a walnut shape. This time, his doctor gave them to him, and they seemed similar to yesterday's, light pastel blue and the size of the end of a pencil eraser. The pills didn't really work. They only slowed down the headaches and fatigue, but not the other dreaded symptoms. Castiel didn't really care, as long as his head didn't feel like it wasn't going to explode, then he was fine, he could push away the blistering limb pains and a deep pressure in every part of his body.

He shoved 3 of the small pills, able to swallow them down without water, he was used to it. Pills day after day became a habit, he'd usually ask Lisa around 10, where it's the daily time he gulps down his pills.

The television blared with the ad channel, which was probably the only channel on the T.V, Cas couldn't really tell anyway, since the remote is never around for him to see. He already seen the commercial on T.V. A man talking about the success of using a facial cleanser. But, Cas could of either get lost in his messy thoughts, or listen to the man repeat what he already heard more then once. He much rather memorize the lines the man said, then get cluttered up in his revolving thoughts.

Castiel had no idea how everything went awful all at once, just a day before, he was sitting with his aunt at a resturant, and the next, he was already in a hospital gown, assigned to a room. It was crazy how fast Castiel's life flipped over, he wasn't even prepared. Worst thing about staying in a hospital, is staying in a hospital when it was your birthday.

Cas was turning 24 today. He barely remember today was the 20th of August, he had been in here for a month. His aunt wasn't coming by, she was too busy in a different state. Gabe won't pass by, he was in London. His friend, Joe, won't come either, since he never even visited him when he got in. No one that he knew was going to come. Except Lisa, she didn't really have a choice anyway, it was her job to take care of Cas. Perhaps if Lisa wasn't his nurse, she wouldn't have visited him, at least Cas thought she wouldn't.

Lisa was late, it was 10:30 a.m and the girl always arrived at 10.

But, then, she walked in, with Dean behind her, a small gift bag was in Lisa's hands and a blue cupcake in Dean's. Cas smiled weakly, the headache pulsing in his temples didn't allow his to strech his smile any wider.

"Happy birthday Castiel!" Lisa exclaimed, grinning, passing him the blue gift bag that stated, "Happy birthday!" in wide white letters. She embraced him tight, her black hair sweeping across him. No one had hugged Castiel in a long time, he forgot how good it felt. He wrapped his arms around her thin self, she smelled like colongue.

"How did you know?" Cas asked as she pulled away.

"You told me." She replied, her eyebrows knitting together, puzzled.

"I did?" Cas questioned, tilting his head, trying to dig up the memory. Lisa gave Castiel a sad smile, nodding. "I don't remember," Cas responded.

"It's okay, I forgot what I ate this morning, it happens to everyone." Dean said, smiling at Cas. "Happy birthday Cas." Dean handed him the cupcake, a small candle lit in the center.

"Thanks guys," Cas stated, grateful that someone cared it was his birthday. They sang happy birthday together, and then Lisa said something.

"Make a wish!" Lisa blurted out, smiling widely.

Make a wish, Cas thought to himself, staring at the bright flame, he could wish his brother stopped by, for him to go home, but he just wished for one cheesy thing.

I wish that someone will fall in love with me.

He blew out the candle, hearing the cheers of Lisa. He smiled at them, Dean looking at him warmly.

"Last cupcake Cas," Dean told him, "luckily, I fought a chick over it." Cas laughed slightly, hating the fact that when he laughed, his stomach lurched over.

Castiel wasn't exactly hungry, but if he didn't eat the chocolate cupcake, it would've looked bad. He took a bite, while Lisa was rambling about her hair and how it got tangled so long that she spent an hour detangling it.

Dean looked like he wasn't listening to Lisa, he was looking around Castiel's hospital room. "You like books huh?" Dean interrupted Lisa.

"Yeah, I just like to escape." Cas told Dean, following where his eyes went, to the stacks of books all scattered around the room, on the table beside Cas, on the small chair, on the tiny old couch.

"I like to escape in music." Dean stated, Castiel smiled at him.

"That's a good escape."

Dean smiled at him, nodding, "It is."

Cas finished the cupcake, throwing the wrapper away, in the trash bin.

"Open your gift!" Lisa pointed out, Cas pulled out the light blue tissue paper.

"Whats up with all the blue?" Castiel inquired.

"Dean told me it matches your eyes." Lisa said. Cas smiled at Dean, watching his dark green eyes lock on his.

Cas had two friends, that cared about him.

He pulled out a Harry Potter book, The Sorcerers Stone.

Cas grinned widely, even though it hurt to do so. He never read Harry Potter and always wanted to.

"Thanks guys." Cas said happily, "Never read Harry Potter before."

"What?" Dean gasped, "Aren't you a big book nerd?"

"It was on my list." Cas responded.

"Well, Castiel, my shift ends early today, at 2. But, I could clear the doctor's appointment and come back-"

"No, no, it's okay Lisa, I'll be fine." Cas retorted.

"I'll stay," Dean spilled out, shrugging.

"You really don't have-"

"I'm not doing this because I think you're lonely, if that's what you're thinking." Castiel frowned, that's exactly what he was thinking, "I have nothing else to do Cas,"

Dean sat in the flimsy chair, "I'll be here."

~~~

Hey guys! ^•^

Did you guys like this chapter? :3

Anyhow, Dean is gonna stay with Cas and ASDFGHJKL

Is it normal to fangirl at your own fanfiction? XD

It probably isn't lmao xD

I'll update soon readers, hope you enjoyed! :)