Chapter 10

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"Love is like the sun: has its inner energy source that shines on you." -Helene Lagerberg

~

Dean's Point of View

Dean didn't know why he left for nearly 3 weeks in the first place.

Dean drove past the hospital on his motorcycle, forcing his mind to stay put on other things, like the distant car in front of him, or the number plate on the back of the cars that passed him by, but, he always lost his concentration, his thoughts winding up on the list Cas needed to finish.

It was cloudy that day,the sun hidden beneath a pile of grey, the blue sky disappeared from sight, casting a dark sky instead.

He remembered everything on Cas' list, he remembered when he told Dean that he wanted to feel rain again.

He couldn't bring himself to go away, as he drove past front of the hospital, he kept telling himself to go back, and he did.

He saw Cas, and he looked so different, he looked like he was dying.

But, the rain did something, something to Dean too, as Dean saw who this man was when he was happy.

Dean didn't stop thinking about Cas, the way Dean held him, actually held him, in his arms.

~

Dean drove back to the hospital, early in the morning, glad that Lisa didn't have a shift.

The kind woman at the desk allowed him in, the pity clearly visible.

Dean paced inside Cas' room, the smell of vomit already stinging the Winchester's nostrils, but, he didn't care about that. Castiel was resting on his bed, as Dean crept beside him, pulling the chair to sit in his normal spot.

"What are you doing here?" Cas mumbled, turning around, his sleepy gaze looking up to Dean.

"You want to watch the sun rise up, so, I'll wake you up when it's time." Dean replied, noticing how different the man looked without his black glasses, he seemed older.

" I can't sleep." Cas retorted, sitting up, forehead furrowing in the darkness, placing his glasses on, "Why are you here?"

"First of all, I can't sleep either. Second of all, I have nothing else better to do." Dean said, smiling.

Dean watched the boy smile in response, small but it was still there, the yellow streetlights illuminating a light for them.

"What time is it?" Cas questioned.

"5 in the morning."

"You're crazy," Cas stated, laughing, but, it sounded like a sharp cough.

Dean couldn't keep in his babbling question, "Who's Lucas?"

Castiel was quiet, the defeating silence made Dean realized how stupid his question was.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"No, no, it's okay," Cas started, dark blue eyes tearing his gaze away from Dean. "Lucas was a, um, I guess, boyfriend of mine. We dated for a couple of months, um, before I became sick and all that...I was told about a few weeks before I got sick, that he was cheating on me, with someone else and," Dean noticed that Cas' eyes swelled up with tears, "and then he was just gone."

"I'm sorry," Dean told Cas, the guilt made a giant hole in his stomach.

"No, it's okay, I'm okay now, that was just the past, he was nothing to me."

Dean could tell he was lying, he could see the false smile stretch across Cas' pale face, the forced tone of glee.

"So tell me, where is this guy now?"

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