Never Let Go||A Destiel AU Fanfiction

Chapter 7

"Love is like cigarettes, it gives you a little pleasure while you're at it, but leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth and a pain in your chest." -Loraine Despres

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Dean's Point of View

Dean loved how Cas reacted to the outside weather, despite it was harsh, Castiel was amused by it all, touching the simplest things in life, a large, significant grin on his pale face.

Dean felt that the smile, that was stretched wide on Cas' face, was a real, true smile. It didn't look like a grimace, it looked like a smile. The satisfying thought just made Dean grin.

He pulled out his cigarette, blowing out the smoke and watching it disappear in the frosty weather. Cas turned around, glancing at him, grinning even wider if that was possible.

"You want a smoke?" Dean asked him, pulling out the box of cigarettes. Dean loved to smoke, he knew it was bad for him, but he couldn't resist pulling out a cigarette now and then.

"It has been on the lists of things I've been wanting to do." Cas replied, Dean stuck the cigarette back in his mouth, letting it dangle from the corner of his lips.

"What's on your list?" Dean inquired, Cas looked around, as if expecting someone was listening, he glanced nervously at Dean.

"You won't laugh at me?"

"No," Dean scowled, "I'm not that big of a prick."

Cas hesitated before speaking, "Well, I want to smoke, I want to drink, I want to...to lose my virginity," Dean raised his eyebrows, puzzled at the fact that Cas never smoked, nor drank, and is still a virgin, "I shouldn't have told you about this." Cas murmured, pale cheeks going red.

Dean shook his head, pulling out his cigarette, puffing out the smoke, "No, please go on, I'm just somewhat surprised."

Cas sighed, before talking, "I want to feel rain on my skin again, see my family, watch the sun rise up, read all the Harry Potter books, learn to dance, try exotic foods, meet my favorite author, and..."

"And?" Dean drawled.

"Fall in love." Cas finished, looking down.

"Hey, you have your whole life to finish that list Cas,"

Castiel looked up, frowning, "Are you kidding?" Cas started, "I'm sick Dean, admit it, I can't finish the list."

Dean didn't like when Castiel said things like that, he hated it. "Cas, don't say stupid shit like that."

"It's the truth, I'm-"

"I swear Cas, if you say one more shitty negative thing, I'm going to smoke all these cigarettes by myself." Dean warned, Cas laughed, warm and it made Dean's heart lift up. "I'll help you finish your list, well, some will be hard to achieve, but, we got the reading one nearly done, and the smoking one will be crossed off."

Castiel smiled, nodding, Dean walked up to him, grabbing a cigarette, "Just inhale the cigarette, pull it away, and blow out the smoke, through your nose or mouth." Dean instructed, lighting the butt of the smoke, giving it to Cas.

Castiel gripped it, awkwardly putting it in his mouth, inhaling loudly and quickly, pulling away, and exhaling through his mouth, coughing.

"Woah," Cas breathed out, eyes wide, Dean smiled, exhaling his smoke of air.

"You'll be better at it soon." Dean explained, Castiel nodded gratefully, pushing the cigarette back in his mouth.

Dean laughed at his sight, seeing Cas' cheeks go pink, "Don't be embarrassed, you just look different, and it's a nice type of different."

Cas chuckled, pulling back his smoke, exhaling through his nose.

"You're a pro already," Dean laughed, breathing out.

Cas smiled, looking at Dean with his wide, frames around them, dark blue eyes, "Thank you Dean,"

Dean nodded in response, staring back at Cas, both having smokes dangling from the corner of their mouths.

Dean thought Cas looked healthy right now, skin still slightly whiter than normal, but nose and ears pink from the cold, and cheeks tinged red. His orbs were the darkest blue Dean had ever seen, he thought they were gorgeous. Black, trimmed, square glasses around them. Black hair messy from the wind.

Cas broke their gaze, grabbing his cigarette and blowing out the remaining smoke away from Dean's face, the smell of tobacco remaining in the air.

Dean stepped away, throwing his smoke on the floor and stepping on it.

"We should go already," Cas stated, dropping his cigarette on the floor, and Dean stepped on it for him. They looked at each other nervously, as they were breathing the same air. They stared at each other, Dean trying to figure out why he didn't want to gaze away, but, abruptly, Castiel glanced away.

"Lisa's waiting for me." Dean muttered, walking to the hospital, Cas next to him, as they paced silently back to his hospital room.

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