Never Let Go||A Destiel AU Fanfiction

Chapter 23

"Find a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest." -Unknown

~

Dean's Point of View

Dean stopped smoking, but a new habit stepped in, one that was worse.

He started to drink heavily. He got drunk some nights, and woke up with a thudding ache in his skull. The only reason why he formed an unhealthy alcohol obsession was to forget, to forget the fact that Cas was dying, to forget the sound of Cas' rattling chest and broken voice.

One night, he went in tipsy, stumbling over chairs. Cas was awake, staring as Dean went over, a lazy grin on his face.

"Hey Cassy," Dean slurred thickly, Cas glared at him, "Let's go out. Let's go live our lives and get married. Oh wait-we can't because you're dying."

Cas blinked, Dean didn't care if Castiel wasn't listening, his mouth wanted to run the truth out in a hot second.

"I wish I can just take you home with me." Dean murmured, a smile over his freckled face. "I could see it. Can't you? I can see me waking you up each morning and making breakfast for you. I can see us walking together around places, holding hands, not caring what people think. Do you see it?"

Cas didn't say a word.

"I wanna take you home with me...do you want to come home with me?"

Cas didn't say anything.

"Answer me." Dean snapped, tears shaking in his voice.

"G-go." Cas stuttered.

"Go?" Dean scowled, "I won't leave you."

"Y-You're d-drunk."

"Why did I become friends with you?"

Cas stayed quiet, and Dean didn't see the tears burning beneath his glasses.

"I could've had a life..."

"Then go...L-Live your life." Castiel commanded, hiding a cry with a cough.

"I can't...I can't imagine not meeting you, I can't leave you...because I love you so much, and I never want what we have to disappear." Dean admitted, rubbing his green eyes, "I miss Mark."

"M-Mark?"

"I never told you about him," Dean said sadly, "He was the first person I became friends with at a hospital. He was like a brother to me, and then imagine one day, you enter a room to not find someone you care about, and instead find an empty, worthless bed...and I grieved for months. And I know, that I will miss you for years, my whole life honestly."

"D-Dean..." Cas whispered. Dean crawled in the bed with him, turning on his side to see his dying boyfriend, lover, husband, his everything...dying. Dean removed the mask, and Cas didn't complain or worry.

Dean leaned in, smelling the strong scent of disinfectant and the smell he hated since the start...death. He gave a quick peck on Cas' chapped lips, pulling back rapidly and putting the mask back over his lips.