Never Let Go||A Destiel AU Fanfiction

Chapter 31

"Everyone needs someone who can handle their darker sides." -Unknown

~

Castiels' Point of View

After weeks, Dean seemed to come back-the scent of cigarettes lowered in the room, the number of beer bottles decreased, and there was no longer haunting silence.

Cas would agree, that it was hard, to deal with a grieving Dean-yet, ever since that night-when Cas broke into a fit, he seemed to get closer. He would greet Cas with a kiss on his cheek, say a sweet goodnight before falling into a nest of dreams.

He didn't get over it quick, but, it's not like he was as distant anymore. He would be there, for Cas to speak to, even when Dean seemed a bit lost.

Castiel invited Lisa over to dinner, and that went surprisingly pleasant, she wasn't grieving: at least, not like Dean did. She seemed to get through it, pull herself together by her own self. Dean was still surprised by it, her eyes barely shifted when the topic was brought forward.

Someway, the broken image of Castsiel must've pulled a cord on Dean, it must've woken him up from a dazed trance.

Weeks passed; and they were back to normal, eating dinners that Cas burned and renting crappy d.v.d movies. Dean was fine, for the most part, at some points, he would remember Charlotte, wake up from a nightmare.

All Dean ever wanted was a family, a small kid to call his own.

So what did the ridiculous Castiel tried to do?

He tried to make Deans' list possible.

It was a secret, he would attend the local orphanages and watch the children- so many kids, all staring at him with innocent doe eyes. He would talk to people on the phone when Dean was at work, writing down the resources. He would apply, without Dean knowing a thing about it.

It was a secret, that Cas was planning to adopt a child, an infant, for Dean Winchester.

Life flowed quite easily for a month or so (Cas' idea still lingering in the back of his mind), and everything seemed like a trance, and he wasn't used to easy-flowing things.

One night, Cas woke up to find Dean missing beside him-it was still dark, the curtains wavering from the open window. Castiel curled up, pulling the cover up to his chin-his bare skin pressing on the duvets. He didn't feel a arm hooked on his waist, no warmth beside him.

He turned his head, and saw Dean hunched over in his seat, on his laptop.

The dull blue light illuminated his tanned skin, sandy blond hair sticking out messily and, in Castiel's entitled opinion, sexily. Dean yawned as he scrolled down, blinking lazily...Cas was wondering what he had to do it in 3 in the morning?

Dean's tense back prickled-his flesh lining with goosebumps from the cold night; his fingers scattering over the keyboard in swift motions, a swipe of his tongue to lick his lips...Cas couldn't understand why he still looked amazing, despite it being so early.

The sound of a printer in the distance, a curl of a signature grin.

"Dean? What are you doing?" Cas slurred, patting the bed. Dean snapped his head at Castiel, a blush creeping on his neck.

"Nothing baby," Dean murmured, shutting down his laptop.

Cas was too sleepy to argue, simply patting the bed so he would feel warm again. The bed groaned at the weight of Dean, arms hooking over Cas, pulling him in close.

Castiel smiled contentedly, snuggling his face in the crook of Deans' neck, the intoxicating scent of Dean flowing in his nose.

Dean said something, words Cas couldn't grab ahold of, because he already had fallen back into a sleep.

~

Castiel awoke the next morning, watching the sun flush on his skin, the color of warmed skin beneath his drooped eyelids. A memory scattered across his mind-Dean. He never asked what he was going at 3 in the morning.

He turned to the clock-10 a.m. Dean was at work today-Cas glanced at the laptop. He knew the password, and he was sure Dean wouldn't clear his search history.

Castiel sat up, his bare feet pressing against the cold floor. Eyes barely adjusting to the fact of waking up to so much light, he ambled to the laptop, adjusting his tee. It was one of Deans' AC-DC's shirt. It hung loosely on him, slightly reaching his thigh. But, the cotton was comfortable on his flesh-and it smelled like Dean.

He admitted that the shirt was at least 3 years old-with a forever stain on the maroon A, and a scent that smelled of man and cheap laundry soap.

It was a dark navy tee, with bold, scarlet letters on the chest that were slightly peeling. Dean told Castiel to throw it away, but Cas didn't, because it gave out a vibe of a college Dean-a young guy who has no idea what's going on, and doesn't have enough money to invest in more clothes, so he sticks to his regular AC-DC shirt that he washes weekly, until the letters begin to fade.

When Cas tells Dean that's the reason why he wants to keep it, he feels a bit crazy. But, Dean laughs, a hand on his upper chest as he thinks about it, then with his rough voice, he says "Damn," a glint in his forest eyes, "you sure are a hell of a thing."

Cas smiled at the memory, tugging on his shirt once more as he looked at himself in the mirror.

Fair legs, which seemed to gain sufficient weight since the hospital era-flannel blue boxers, and a comfy t-shirt that touched his skin like an angel's touch.

His hair was unkempt-black locks sticking out in several directions-slight bags underneath his eye, a stubble lining his flushed skin.

Cas groaned, sitting on the chair, opening the laptop. He felt guilty, going on Deans' search history out of curiosity. But, he stubbornly needed to find out himself.

He clicked the history bar-watching tabs flow in his vision. Sure enough, there was his answer.

Cas' jaw hanged out, a sudden feeling expanded in his gut. Did Dean really-

A click of a keyboard, he slipped on his glasses to read the screen better.

There was no way Dean could've-

No but he did.

Castiels' back shivered, the hairs on his arms lifted, just because of clicking that link on Dean Winchesters' laptop.

~

Hey readers! How are you all? :D

Have any of you started school yet? If you have, tell me if it's going well-if you haven't, then tell me when you start school!

I start on August 29th, I can't believe summer is nearly over ;-;

Sorry for this cliffhanger-next chapter will reveal what Cas found out. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter! I appreciate all feedback! :)

I wish you all a great week! Much love!