Never Let Go||A Destiel AU Fanfiction

Chapter 28

"Sometimes, you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be." -Unknown

~

Cas' Point Of View

Telling Dean to come to bed was apart of Castiels' nightly routine. He woke up near midnight, from the lack of warmth, and a feeling of security gone.

His light sleeping was a blessing and a curse, as he watched Dean grieve in the darkness, sitting in a chair and just staring outside.

The sight was familiar to Castiel; he remembered his lover sitting in the cushioned chair in the hospital, as if him nearly dying was just only yesterday.

The pregnancy was something Dean couldn't grasp ahold of well, but time went on, and Cas would see the excitement as they paced past the baby compartments in a store.

Now, Dean doesn't even come to the store with Cas anymore.

"Dean," Cas whined, barely audible, but the man turned his head towards Cas' direction. "Come to bed darling."

"I can't-I can't."

"Why can't you love?"

"Nightmares. They're keeping me up."

Cas didn't need to ask what type of nightmares. He already knew. It had to do with the baby...always with Charlotte.

Castiel sat up, rubbing his eyes and stepping out of the comfort of covers and sheets. His bare feet pressed against the wood, steps concerned as he draped his long arms around the man he loved.

"I love you." Cas said quietly, putting his lips over the temple of Deans' forehead, feeling the vein pumping blood to his guilty soul. The vibration went throughout Cas: so private and small feeling only Dean can cause. "I love you." Castiel repeated in a softer voice, holding Dean in his arms like a child.

"Say you love me too." Cas whimpered, trailing his lips down to the mouth that shook.

"She's gone. I keep dream-"

Cas pulled him up into a tight hug, hoping an embrace can reel Dean from drowning into a hole of despair.

It didn't.

~

Sam Winchester was a kind-hearted fellow, polite and smart, unlike Dean, Sam was a bit more open about his feelings. Dean, especially under the circumstances he was going through.

He invited Sam and Jess out of loneliness, and the fact Dean needed to see another face that wasn't Cas or Lisa. Since, going outside was now rare to him.

They were losing money, and quickly, Cas had a job, but it's not like it was a perfect paying job. Being a busboy was awful, and with the low quality restaurant he was working at, and employees who treated him like shit...life wasn't so great.

Castiel walked up to Dean, adjusting the collar of his flannel, allowing his eyes to go up to Deans' cold eyes...green and hallow, cheeks paler from lack of food, bags under his eyes from sleepless nights. His brother and his girlfriend was coming in less than an hour, and Dean didn't show much emotions.

"You look nice Dean," Castiel commented: it wasn't a lie, it was the truth. Dean had always managed to look somewhat handsome in Cas' opinion. Dean nodded curtly. Cas was used to the distance he set between them ever since the night of the baby's death. And sadly, he wished he wasn't used to it.

"You don't always have to do that." Dean said, Cas looked up, frowning.

"Do what?"

"Lie and tell me something positive. Tell me the truth, tell me I look like shit."