If Loving You Is Wrong

Casha

It's been a month since all that went down with Jr. I'm still feeling a some type of way about it but it's a day by day process on getting over it. He still tried calling me everyday but I ended up getting my number changed. I traded in the car he bought me for something else. Everything seems to be going smoothly... I haven't ran into that chick either.

As soon as I walk into my apartment I see a large vase with over a dozen roses. I already know who it's from so I leave them sitting right where they're at. Keysha and Rico are sitting in the living room cuddled watching tv.

"What's up girl?" Keysha says greeting me. "Hey." I walk into the dinning room and see more flowers. Damn. "When you gone talk to the man?" Rico asks. "Never." "Come on Cay you gotta hear him out." "No I don't. Fuck him with much disrespect." "I know you don't mean that Cay."

"He could die today and I would spit on his damn grave. Stupid ass nigga." "Damn. That's cold Cay that's real cold." He says finally leaving me be about the situation. I go into the room and see Truffles sleeping in her cage. I kick off my shoes and lay on my bed staring at the ceiling.

My phone rings and it's a number I don't have saved. I debate on whether I should answer or not. I'm not about to, if it's important they'll leave a message.

It's a knock on my bedroom door. "Cay someone is here to see you." Keysha says peeking her head in."Who?" "Jr." "Hell no, I don't want to see him. I'm not here." "He already knows your here." "Think of something to say. I'm not talking to him." I say slamming my door and locking it. I put my headphones in and turn up the music.

My phone vibrates and it's a message from Jr, of course. I should've known it was him calling.

:Damn Casha, that's the shit we on now. But okay cool. I'm not going to keep trying to chase after someone who doesn't want to be caught. I really hope you have a nice fucking life.: I laugh, "Fuck you too nigga."

I noticed my cycle is late this month for the 2nd time in row. It's always been irregular anyway so I didn't think anything of it the first time. But it's never been like this. Keysha and I head to the doctors office. "Ms. Harris the doctor is ready to see you." "Okay." I gather my things and head to the back.

The doctor comes in, "What seems to be the problem Ms Harris?" I explain to her what's going on, and she smiles. "Let's do you an ultrasound." I started panicking. What the fuck are we doing an ultrasound for? We go back and do the ultrasound and my worse nightmare is confirmed. I'm pregnant.

I get in the car. I guess the look on my face said it all. Keysha grabs my hand. "Whatever it is we'll get through it together." A tear falls from my eye. "I'm pregnant Keysha." She smiles and then her face changes, "Jr." "Unfortunately." "Damn... When are you going to tell him?" "I don't know. My child doesn't need someone like that in their life." "Bullshit girl. Now your talking crazy. You know how it was for me without my father. You're stuck putting up with Jr."

We head to Rico's house so I could pick up my car. We stop by the corner store first and I pick up myself a few things and Rico's favorite snacks. I need something to butter him up once I give him the big news. I can't believe I'm going to be a mother.

We get to Rico's. "Rico where you at?" I yell through the house. I walk to his office and see him sitting at the desk. I open up the door all the way and my heart drops. "What's up Cay?" Rico asks. "I need to talk to you." I say eyeing Jr, "But it can wait." Jr looks at me up and down. "What's up Casha." Jr says. I roll my eyes, "I'll be leaving now."

I go sit in the living room and pull out some chips. "Why didn't you tell me Jr was here?" I ask Keysha. "I didn't think he would still be here.... Did you talk to him?" "Hell nah I already told y'all I don't have shit to say to him." "But you do Cay, you aren't just speaking for yourself anymore." I sigh.

Rico and Jr come in and they sit down. "Rico guess what?" I say. "What Cay?" "Congratulations Jr your going to be a father." Both of their eyes get wide. "Stop playing Cay?!" Jr says coming to sit next to me. I look at him. "I don't have time to play Jr, and it's Casha." Rico is still looking in disbelief. "Can I talk to you Casha?" Jr asks. "No, we don't have shit to say to each other. If it's not about this child I don't want to fucking hear it." "How many months are you?" "Only 2." He smiles, "I'm about to be a father."

"That's all you going to be and I'm letting you know now... Your bitch won't be around my child." "Cash calm down." Rico says. "No I won't calm down. Fuck him and fuck her! I swear Jr I fucking hate you." "I deserve that." "Why Jr? Why did you have fuck me over like that? Out of all people I just knew we would've been rocking till the end." I feel the emotions kicking back in. I get up and go into the other room.

Jr follows me inside. "Cay listen-" "Jr I already told you I don't want to hear whatever you have to say. Jr you knew what I felt for you and I thought you felt the same fucking way. But you don't do no shit like that to someone you love. You had that bitch walking around thinking I'm the damn side chick when I never knew she existed!. That's the bitch you claimed was your sister? Who would call back to back to back? Why did you play me like that Jr when all I ever did was be good to you. I thought we had something- I thought you were special. Way to kill a girl's dream.!"

"I'm sorry Cay. I swear I am." "Y'all were together 9 fucking months Jr! What the fuck?!?" "I didn't know I would fall for you like I did." "Oh! So what were you expecting? A bitch you thought you would just smash and pass on!? I feel so fucking stupid." "Cash no it was never nothing like that!" "I fucking hate you. Get the fuck out." "Let me know about the next appointment. I'm going to be there for my child whether you fucking like it or not." "What the fuck ever!" "Alright whatever then." He leaves out. Keysha comes in. "Are you okay?" "Why did I ever fall in love?"