If Loving You Is Wrong

Casha

I wake up wrapped up in Jr. I smile. I move his hands so I could get up. "Where you going?" He says startling me. "To the kitchen." "Ain't nobody tell you to you move away from me but okay." "Boy hush I'm coming back." I leave the room and Rico's in the kitchen.

"I heard about what happen." He says without greeting me Good morning or something. "Damn good morning to you too Rico." "Morning Cay. Now back to that lil situation. You don't have time to be getting caught up in mess like that." "That bitch should've kept her mouth closed then. I held my tongue far too long with that hoe." "Be the bigger person Cay." "Man save that because up until last night that's what I was trying to do. You act like I actually fought the girl, no. Jr pulled me away as soon as he realized what was going on." "You have to respect the girls position."

"And whether she likes it or not she has to respect mine. You don't question me on no shit about Jr being the father of my child when he is the one and only person I've slept with." "I understand that it was disrespectful. You have to remember her position. It's hard on her as well to be watching the girl her nigga got pregnant. Especially when she was there first Cay." "Maybe if she was doing shit right he wouldn't have pursued me. I wasn't the one he was cheating on, she knew about me, I never knew anything about the bitch." He shakes his head and I go back into the room.

"What was that about?" Jr asks when I walk back in. "Rico being Rico. Questioning me about the shit from last night. Be the bigger person Cay, she was there first Cay, respect her position. Fuck that bitch." "Hey hey hey come here." I go and sit by him. "Calm ya nerves." He says kissing my lips. "Man I'm tired of this shit. He always has something to say." "It's only because he cares Cay." "Jr this shit is all your fault."

He laughs, "Let's stop playing the blame game." I smile, "But I'm serious." "I know you are..... You took your pills yet?" "No that's what I was going to do. It got sidetracked." "Let's go." He grabs my hand and we walk into the kitchen. The rest of the day went good, until Jr had to leave. I really didn't want him to go.

The next day Jr comes and pick me up. We were off to take professional pictures. We both had on matching colors, Red tops, dark demin jeans, and the new All black Timbs, thanks to Jr of course. We looked pretty good if I say so myself. We go in and do multiple poses, like him kneeling down kissing my stomach, one of him standing behind me and arms wrapped around me with his fingers in the shape of a heart on my stomach, one of us kissing, and some silly ones.

They told us our package would be available within an hour, so we head off to go look ahead in the shopping plaza. We get inside this store and Jr goes crazy racking up on clothes. "You see anything you like?" He asks. "Not really." "Alright." We see some baby clothes, "Bae we gotta get me and Lil man some matching outfits." Bae? Whatever. I laugh, "That would be cute." He starts finding all the matching outfits to all the outfits he picked up.

An hour and a half way goes by and my feet are killing me. "Jr are you about ready?" "Yeah ma, you ready?" "Yes my feet hurt." "I'll rub them when we get back." "Can you buy me some chips ahoy too?" He laughs, "I got you." He pays for everything then we head back over to the picture place, but before he gets out his phone starts ringing "Answer it tell them I'll call them back."

He shuts the door. It's Taty. Aha. "Hello?" I answer, no response "Jr's busy right now he will call you back later." "This bitch." Taty mumbles before hanging up. Jr comes back, "Who was it?" "Tatyanna." "Lord." "Let me see the pictures." He passes me the envelope. I look at them and they are cute! I pull out the one of the heart on the stomach 8 by 10.

"Jr this is so cute!" "Yeah it is. We make a cute couple." "No we make cute parents." "Really you want to be technical Cay?" "Yes. I really do." He shakes his head. "Let's go eat." "I knew that was coming... But yes ma'am.... Is The Cheesecake Factory good?" "Yes." We get inside and get seated. "Feet still hurt?" "Yes."

"Alright. Let's look at the other pictures." He says. I lay out the others and we look through. I count the number of wallet size. I see Taty and her friend. She's walking our way. I roll my eyes. Not today Jesus not today. "Taty the fuck do you want man?" Jr says to her.

"Well I'm here to apologize Casha I am just finding out about that threat. I had no idea about that till today. I would never wish any wrong doing on that baby and I'm sorry about what I said yesterday." I just look at her, is she serious or what? She continues talking, "Jr I'm sorry that I've been acting this way but I'm hurt and it's a lot to take in. Casha this doesn't mean I like you but I respect the fact that you're having Jr's child." I look at her again, she really seems legit.

"Well the feeling is definitely mutual, believe me. As for your apology I accept it. I'm sorry for any extra-ness I may have caused. Let your friend know tho next time-" Jr cuts me off. "There won't be a next time. That's very mature of you Tatyanna. I accept your apology too." "You don't have anything to apologize for Jr?" She asks, now rolling her eyes. Well this little kumbaya moment we had going is over. "No I don't. I meant every single thing I've said." "Your an asshole Jr. How the fuck do you think it makes me feel when I know your out hear playing off with this-"

I cut her off, "Please don't call me a bitch and make me regret my lil apology." "Girl that wasn't even a real apology. I don't know what you called that. And FYI I wasn't going to even say that." She says. "Look can we not do this here in public."Jr says. "Look I just came over to apologize that's all, I'm not trying to create more problems. You both said you forgive me so let's just leave it at that." She says walking away with a smile on her face.

"You know she feels like I neglect her for you." Jr says. "Do you feel like that?" "Hmmm, to a certain degree yes." I roll my eyes. "Oh okay so what do you plan to do about it?" "That's the thing I don't know. I wish the both of you could just get along." "But life doesn't work that way. You can't have your cake and want to eat it too." I put the pictures back in the envelope and slide it in my purse. "I know Cay but it's complicated." "Only because you made it that way."

"Why do you always remind me of that shit?" He says. "Because it's the truth the quicker you accept that fact the better." "I have accepted that fact Cay but you keep throwing it in my face." "Ugh whatever Jr." "It's not whatever. You do. Anytime things aren't going Cay's way it's always my fault. I didn't ask for this shit."

"What didn't you ask for Jr? Let me tell you what I didn't ask for. I didn't ask you for to come into my life, thinking I've found the one when technically I was number 2. I didn't ask for you to make me happy, I didn't ask to get pregnant by you, I didn't ask to be stuck in love with a confused ass nigga, I didn't ask for you to be laying up with me every night while you have a girl waiting for yo ass that you run home to every morning. I didn't and I don't ask you for shit. You do it on your own. So since shit is so hard for you to figure out let me help you out and remove myself from the equation. She can have you all to herself since you neglect her sooo much because of me. Everyone is all happy now right?" I get up.

"Cay get back here." I ignore him and keep walking. I walk past Taty's table, "You win bitch. He's all yours." Maybe I shouldn't have called her a bitch, but fuck it. At this moment I don't give a fuck about anyone but my child and myself. I get outside and call Rico "Come get me please." "Where you?" "Cheesecake factory." "Alright be there in a second." I stand outside and wait. A few seconds later Rico picks me up. He asks what happens, and I tell him from beginning to end. He shakes his head and we drive to his house.