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LANA DEL REY - SAD GIRL ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯
Chapter eleven
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Karma is a bitch.
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"Be honest with me. Am I hot?" I ask Endro, sitting at the table in front of me with a perplexed expression settling on his face.
"What?" He chuckles, "What is this sudden question."
"I don't know." I grab the glass of wine and take a sip from it. "Just wondering."
"Why are you asking when you know the answer." I smiled at his compliment but it was still not answering my question.
"Seriously, tell me a reason why a man can't find me hot."
"I don't think there's an answer to that." Then what was wrong? Why did Alessandro suddenly reject me when he was all obsessing over me?
Was it really because I was too young?
Or because he had a girlfriend now?
I crossed my arms, my face furrowed from the turmoil in my mind. I've been thinking about it for a few days now. I couldn't understand why he would suddenly push me away like that.
No, I didn't like him. I wasn't hurt by it for other reasons but because I've never been rejected like this, ever.
I didn't like how effortlessly he had shattered my self-confidence.
"What's with all the question? Is something on your mind?" I sigh and shake my head as I stare at Endro. I was on a date with him and my mind was elsewhere the entire time. I felt guilty since I wasn't paying attention to him much of the time.
"It's nothing." I force a grin on my lips and get back to eating. It didn't help that the date was in a restaurant, knowing that I hadn't been able to eat properly due to my eating disorder for the last two weeks. So I forced myself to eat the entire time, battling the temptation to vomit as the terrible feeling filled my stomach with each bite.
I was playing with the few bites of food that remained on my plate with my fork, resting my elbow on the table, and resting my head on my fist while I battled with all my strength not to cry and make a scene in front of my date.
This was a shitty day.
When I felt a stare on me, I looked up to see Endro looking at me with a worried expression. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine."
"If I am that boring you could have just said that." I hear his fork drop on the plate and I look up to see him looking away from me, upset. Now I felt bad.
