Deciding Us (KENTIN Au)

32.

Cautiously, he lifts up Justin's head from his lap and stands up before placing back the sleeping guy back into the position. The movie ended ten minutes ago and their parents are already upstairs for sleep. He tried to wake him up but the guy doesn't budge, so deep in the dreamland.

Having no choice, he puts his arms under Justin's leg and back to pick him up bridal style. Thankfully the model isn't build like him so it will be easier to lift him up. He carefully steps on the stairs and make his way to the room.

He lowers Justin on the bed, giving him a forehead kiss before covering him with the blanket. He makes himself ready for sleep when a text comes in. The company's guard informing him about Jade's presence in the lobby. He sighs before putting aside the phone.

He stares on the ceiling, thinking of more ways to solve the issue. After the confrontation, she throw on tantrum. She destroyed everything around the room before broke down in tears. She reminded him about how he made her feel loved, his promise about their relationship despite the marriage, accused Justin to use his acting skills to make Ken fall for him instead.

He gave her a week to calm down, and when he thought everything turned out smoothly, she started to send cakes and food to his office. She would also comes to his office uninvited, that he finally tighten up the security.

He is quite glad that Justin moved out from his house, so his safety and well being is secured. Jade came to his apartment behind his back and told Justin her side of story back then, there is still possibility for her to do it again. He even contacted Pablo to make sure Jade didn't come near Justin when he is in public or wherever she possibly can be.

He told her hundreds time that their relationship is over but she couldn't accept it as there is no confirmation from Justin's side. She thought he is making reasons to push her away after getting tired of her. She needs real closure, not just talks.

On the other side, Justin doesn't decide yet about the future of their marriage. The guy doesn't give any hint about it, that Ken is afraid of the answer if he asked about it. Sure, he can takes their skinships and all as a good sign but no one can predict his mind. Justin ignored his texts for months but then appeared in front of the house just to talk about the Christmas' plan.

"Ken?" the sleepy voice of Justin makes him looks over. He smiles when the younger guy cuddles into his arm, eyes still closed. "I'm here," he whispers.

He doesn't know when the feelings grow but he loves Justin so much that he wants to keep him to himself. But if Justin decided to be free from him, there is nothing he can do. Love requires sacrifice, and he needs to prepare for it.

• • • • •

They just finished the fashion show and will wrap the night with photo time. Justin set his phone on the tripod, asking his parents to sit on the couch while he makes sure the background wall that they decorated with DIY flag banner will come out nicely.

He uses his creativity to make sure the photoshoot come out well, feeling excited that everything he planned came to reality perfectly. He will take individual pictures, follow with each couple, each family and ends it with everyone on the camera. It takes more patience than he expected to take control their parents during the photo time, but it is all worth it at the end.

He tries to find Ken in the midst of his parents finding the suitable pose when he found the red haired guy is drinking some water, his jacket tied on his waist. Seeing Ken only in black tank top and jeans does something to him that he decided to look away and focus on being the photographer.

He was taken aback during their runaway fashion show, when Ken showed up. The guy slicked back his red hair, put on a green jacket over his tight tank top and paired it with black jeans. It is contrast with him as he decided on yellow hoodie and white pants. He is sure that once Ken's photo from tonight is up on the social media, there'll be lots of casting manager will ask him to audition as a model. Unfortunately, Justin doesn't like to share so he will gatekeep it forever.

He watches as Ken tidy up the mess on the living room, muscles flexing here and there with the tattoo in view. "I'll be in the room," he says nervously, knowing what his plan is. Ken nods and he takes the cue to run upstairs and rummages through his bag. He takes out the items and puts it in the pocket, sitting on the bed while waiting for Ken to enter.

Debating either he should proceed with his plan, Ken pushes open the door. "I thought you changed into pajama already," Ken asks, putting away the jacket in the wardrobe.  Justin approaches Ken, making the guy sits on the bed instead. "You're good? Do you need to talk?" Ken frowns.

"Can you close your eyes? I have something for you," he replies after making sure the door is locked. Ken shuts his eyes close, hands at his side. Justin stares on him, fingers fidgeting as he is still nervous about what will happen.

Yes, they had so much physical contacts despite their complicated relationship but what he wants to offer later will be something different, that Justin doesn't expect that he can have the courage to initiate it.

Leaning forward, he puts his lips on Ken's. There is no response from him so he opens his eyes as Ken lightly puts distance between them. "Justin, what are you trying to do?" There is no anger in the tone, just confusion. "I just want to," he answers, eyes still on his lip. He feels a peck on his forehead before Ken makes their eyes meet. "There it is." He frowns, "I want real kiss, not forehead kiss."

"Justin, you must be so tired and sleepy. Let's go to bed, okay?" Ken subtly rejects his request. "Why can't you? Is it something to do with Jade?"

"Don't you say you love me? Why does a kiss bother you so much? We kissed back then during the family dinner, when we had no feelings on each other and you were still with Jade. Why can't now?" His voice is shaking out of anger for the rejection.

Ken stands up, making them stare on each other. "I love you, Justin. In fact, I can offer more than just kiss. But, I also don't want to cross the limit when you're asking for time and space. I respect that so much, I don't want to do anything that you'll regret. Please don't make it harder for me."

Justin watches as Ken moves away from him. "She needs a closure about us. She won't take my words anymore so she's still bothering me. The longer you take your time, the longer I need to tolerate her. It's tiring, I won't lie but I'll still wait for your decision," Ken adds.

Holding on uncertainty can be exhausting.

Justin reaches for his arm, stopping him. "Forget the time and space I asked for. Forget about everything, just follow what our hearts want. For this one time, can we?"

"Justin, you'll regret it later," Ken sighs. Shaking his head off, he plants a kiss on his lips. "I won't, I promise," he assures him. Ken still looks reluctant so Justin decided to take matter on his hand.

He traces his fingers on Ken's bare arm, eyes locked on the guy's lips before cupping the guy's face and pulls him into deep kiss. He moves his finger on his back, through his hair, almost everywhere until the guy reacts with the same energy.

"Are you sure?" Ken asks after noticing the sexual tension between them, lips swollen for the long and hard kiss. "Less talk, more work," he takes out the item from his pocket, placing it on Ken's hand.

He smirks when Ken is in shock to see the lube and condoms.