The Man Next Door🤍

Chapter 21

"You kissed me" I hear her whispering to herself

"I did, want me to do it again?"

"Yes no, god yes"

I chuckle turning around and pecking her lips, she giggles making me smile

"Food time princess"

"Yum yum" she whispers rubbing her belly

We both ate in the kitchen, i fed her and she, well she was rambling about how nice chicken and pasta go together or how pretty balloons are when they are released in the air

"Be a good girl and brush" I say

"Yes" she nods walking upstairs

I cleaned up the kitchen and walk up to the room where nandini was laying on the couch looking out the window

"Hey"

"Hi" I whisper slipping beside her in the couch

"Manik"

"Were you uncomfortable?" I ask running my fingers through her hair

"No, no I wasn't. It is new, it is different. I have never been kissed or kissed anyone. I always read about it, dreamed about it but I didn't think it would happen with you or like this"

"Do you regret it?"

"No I do not regret it, i think you are the best person to be with and to have shared my first kiss with. Umm do you regret it?" She asks

"I do not doll, I don't kiss people, I have only kissed one person who I was in a relationship with for 3 years" I tell her

"Was it a good relationships?"

"No, toxic" I tell her

"Toxic, define toxic" she whispers sleepily

"Mentally abusive, obsessive in a bad way, there were times I'd wish I never got in a relationship with her"

I look down to see her a sleep making me smile. I kiss her head grinning that she is in my arms

As I lay there watching her serene face, my head fills with the worst thing ever, this fear of losing her. This fear that I have messed everything up, not just with nandini but also with cabir and abhi.

They adore her and knowing that I kissed her at a time when she needed assurance and not my kiss. I kissed her when she was most vulnerable, I took advantage of her.

"I am sorry" I whisper kissing her head

I have fucked up so bad, I mean in no shape or form am I regretting kissing her because all of me wanted that, I have been wanting to kiss her and there were times where I was so close to kissing her

Saying that, I do think the timing was shit and I shouldn't have done that when she is vulnerable. My life was just starting to get better, she is making my life worth living but here I went and ruined it already

"I am sorry that I did that, I know you are a sleep and I know that by the time you get up tomorrow morning I will not be here. I also am aware of the fact that you will hate me forever, it's something I don't think I can endure but it's better than me being here and disappointing you" I whisper kissing her lips gently

For the rest of my life, I will never kiss anyone, feel for anyone, touch anyone, no one will compare to Nandini and no one will come close to me because all of me is hers.

She doesn't know that I belong to her but that's good because if she knew, she'd also know id give about anything and everything to keep that smile on her face.

For the rest of the night I held her in my arms like it would be the last time because it is. I dropped kisses on her head every few minutes.

It was 6 in the morning when I placed nandini on the couch getting up, I grabbed a bag putting some clothes in it, a picture of nandini on top of my bag as well. She took a few pictures with her Polaroid camera, she is fond of photography. I sit beside nandini caressing her hair.

"Hey princess, it's 7 and I am running away like the coward I am. you always say I am so bright and so nice, like a Prince Charming but I am not even a damsel. I am nothing in front of you nandini, and I am so sorry for doing this to you" I mumble kissing her head

"I don't know what love is but the love that my parents share, thats the kind of love I have for you. I love you nandini" my lips touch hers for the last time

I don't look back because I knew if I did, I wouldn't go anywhere, id not have the heart to leave.

"Hey man how are you up so early?" I hear cabir as I come down the stairs

"Woah why are you crying? Manik what's wrong?" He instantly was by my side

"Im fine, just take care of her" I say

"Her? The fuck are you about to do? THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE LEAVING MANIK" he screams at me

"I have to, I can't hurt her. She and I aren't ideal cabir, I, just stay with her and get abhi to come home now, she is going to need him"

"No you can't fucking leave"

"I have to cabir, sometimes you have to do shit you don't wish to"

"Fuck, you love her don't you?" he asks

I smile slightly at him

"You know that she'll ask for you as soon as she is up right?"

"She will but abhi should be back by then, call him now"

"Manik don't do this" he whiseprs

"She deserves someone not so fucked up, someone who will love her like she deserves"

"She deserves you"

"I don't deserve her and she deserves far better than a fucked up piece of shit who has a toxic past and shit ton of baggage. She needs someone who will love her and treat her like a princess. She deserves a prince"

"Manik"

"Take care of her" I say walking out of the house

I was driving for hours, I didn't know where I was going, I just kept driving.

"FUCCKKKKK" i scream sobbing

I don't cry but knowing I took advantage of her vulnerable state I can't forgive myself