Hamilton x Nerdy Prudes Must Die

High school is killing me

[The lights turn red, we see John...]

John: I'm dead...

John: The blood is all but draining from my head..

John: The nightmare started there, but now has spread!

John: My pulse is certainly dropping, and my life is hanging on by a thread.

[We see another one: Maria]

Maria: I'm scared!

Maria: Someone comes for me, I'm unprepared...

John and Maria: The wait has got me sweating, I can't cut through all the tension..

Students: It's hell on earth, you know. I'm tweeting all about it!

Students: I take it blow by blow, but I'd never scream or shout it!

[The bell rings]

Miss Mulberry: Passing period's over! Find your seats!

Students: High school is killing me! It's got me all out of my rhythm and my melody!

Students: It's not cool, it's a fallacy. It's a cruel and unusual brutality!

Students: And I can't survive it, for only so long! High school is killing me, I'm so fucking dead!

Miss Mulberry: Alright class, pop quiz! I hope you've been hitting the books, Miss Lauter

Eliza: Shit..

Eliza: I was up all late last night and I couldn't fucking study!

Students: Didn't want to anyway.

Eliza: I was deep in a Twitter fight about a problematic puppy!

Students: Problematic pooch!

Eliza: I had heart palpitations tryna convert crypto to lunch money

Eliza: There's no way to turn...

Students: For the class of 2021!

Students: High school is killing me! It's got me all out of my rhythm and my melody!

Sasha(One of the Ensemble): My melody!

Thomas: My melody!

Students: A cesspool, faux democracy. It's one hell of a normal abnormality!

Thomas: Ah!

Maria: Ah!

Hercules: Ah!

Students: And I can't survive it for only so long! High school is killing me. I'm so fucking-

Eliza: Hey! Hey geek!

Alexander: Me?

Eliza: Your name's Alexander, right?

Alexander: Yeah?

Eliza: Hi, Alex. We've been in class together for a long time, haven't we?

Students: I'm so fucking dead!

Alexander: Since the first grade.

Eliza: But I'm just realising I've never introduced myself. I'm Elizabeth.

Students: I'm so fucking dead!

Alexander: Lauter, the mayor's daughter. Yeah, I know.

Eliza: Yeah, but my friends call me Eliza. We're friends, aren't we Alex?

Students: I'm so fucking dead!

Alexander: I don't know. Are we?

Eliza: Well I wouldn't advertise it to the whole school or anything, but uh...

Students: High school!

Eliza: But there's an unspoken bond between us! We're classmates, comrades! We're Nighthawks! And we don't leave anyone behind.

Alexander: I got left behind this morning, the bus driver's a fuckin' asshole.

Eliza: We succeed together, we fail together. I won't mince words. I'm gonna fail this test, Alexander. Unless you help me cheat?

Alexander: Cheat?!

Students: I'm so fucking dead!

Students: Eight o'clock bell rings, place my head on my desk!

Eliza: Come on, finish your exam, pass it to me, and I'll put my name on it!

Students: 12 o'clock, Girl Scout, can't I just get my rest?!

Eliza: I'll give you mine, then you get to take the test all over again, Doesn't that sound fun!

Students: Three o'clock countdown, every day lockdown.

Students: Classroom arrest, is God the one giving the test?!

Alexander: Well, yeah, but won't we get into trouble?

Eliza: Please, Alex? Don't you wanna help me out?

Alexander: Oh alright..

[He tries to hand her the paper when..]

Samuel: Cheater!

Eliza: Ugh. Butt out Chasity!

Students: High school is killing me! It's got me all out of my rhythm and my melody!

Alexander: My melody!

Eliza: My melody!

Students: High school, it's a tragedy! I've been thrown to the wolves of the community!

John: Woo!

Lafayette: Woo!

Burr: Woo!

Students: And I can't survive it for only so long!

Students: And I'll still despise it, when I am gone!

Students: High school is killing me!

Alexander: Samuel, just be cool!

Students: Fuck you, biology!

Samuel: Never!

Students: High school will murder me!

Samuel: Miss Mulberry, they're cheating!

Eliza and Alexander: I'm so fucking dead!

All: Yeah!