Hamilton x Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Scene 28, Found out..

Shapiro: Afternoon Mr. Chasity. Officer Bailey tells me you've come downtown to share some information regarding the ongoing murder investigation.

Samuel: Yes! I know who may be responsible.

Shapiro: Oh, really? You seem so tight lipped the other day but I'm glad you're coming forward. You want some coffee?

Samuel: I'm not allowed to have caffeine but when my mom and dad have coffee, they let me have a cup of hot water so I don't feel left out. Can I have one of those?

Shapiro: Oh, that can be arranged, plenty of hot water for you, Samuel. Bailey?

[Bailey walks off to get Samuel the hot water]

Shapiro: So, the night King George Jägerman died, you went for a bike ride?

Samuel: Yes. That's right. I was passing the Waylon Place on Hickory when I saw King George Jägerman hopping the fence. "Strange", I thought. "Why would anyone want to go into that old, spooky house." I never would. Then, I saw a van pull up and a group of teenagers got out and followed George inside. I didn't think anything of it at the time but then, I heard John got killed and suddenly I remembered a crucial detail that made everything make sense. A picture came flashing into my mind like I was Enola Holmes. The van those kids were driving that night had a bumper sticker that read Chemists. The mascot of Hatchetfield's sworn enemy, Clivesdale.

Shapiro: Oh shit, not Clivesdale.

Samuel: Think about it. Who stands to gain from these murders? King George Jägerman, our star quarterback, and John, our beloved mascot. With them on the field, the nighthawks would have trounced the chemists. They had to go. Their murders were a part of an insidious plot to rig the big game. We don't know how deep this goes but as far as I'm concerned, the entire population of Clivesdale is guilty until proven innocent.

Shapiro: Okay, Samuel, you want me to open an investigation on the entire population of Clivesdale? I, I could spend years on what might be a wild goose chase.

Samuel: Whatever it takes for justice to prevail.

Shapiro: Well, thank you Samuel, this is some incredible detective work. I don't know how to repay you.

Samuel: You're welcome!

Shapiro: Oh, wait, did you happen to lose a WWJD bracelet? I found one in your principal's office, I-I think you might've dropped it when we bought you in for questioning.

[She takes out the bracelet, Samuel takes it]

Samuel: Ugh! That's where it went! Thanks, I've been looking everywhere for this thing!

Shapiro: Don't mention it. Oh! Silly me! I didn't find that at your school. I found it at The Old Waylon Place underneath the floorboards, if you can believe it. Right next to the body of King George Jägerman...

Samuel: Uh, well, well, um..

Shapiro: Samuel, Samuel.. You're not half as smart as you think you are! You say this group of mystery kids followed George into The Waylon House? How'd they get in? No broken windows, no sign of forced entry. It's almost like...they had a key. Like, maybe one of their dads was a realtor. Isn't your dad a realtor, Samuel?

Samuel: I-I don't think I should answer anything until I have a lawyer present.

Shapiro: You're 18 and we can try you as an adult, and I will personally make sure they throw the fuckin' book at you if you don't start playing ball. Your little story here accounts for George and John, but it doesn't mention the death of Maria Fleming..

Samuel: Maria's dead?

Shapiro: So I don't know who's masterminding this murder spree but I know you're involved and I want answers.

Samuel: I don't-I don't know anything!

Shapiro: Bailey, place Mr. Chasity under arrest.

Samuel: What?!

Bailey: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.

Samuel: No, n-n-n-no. You can't do this to me, okay, this is not my fault, this is not my plan!

Shapiro: Woah, woah, who's plan was it, Samuel?

Samuel: It was God's plan! And now he's leaving me out to dry! Do something, you son of a bitch!

Bailey: Put your hands behind your-oh, shit, no, fuck!

[The gun drops, Samuel picks it up]

Shapiro: Samuel, Samuel. put the gun down. You don't wanna do anything stupid.

Samuel: I don't intend to! I'm going to go to the nearest church and claim sanctuary!

Shapiro: That's not a thing, Samuel!

Samuel: Don't follow me!

[He runs away, Shapiro takes out her walkie-talkie]

Shapiro: Calling all units, putting out the APB on one Samuel Chasity. He is a 18 year old Caucasian male. He will be riding a blue Schwinn. I repeat, a blue bicycle with a basket and bugle horn. Don't let that fool you.
He is armed and extremely dangerous...