Sanctuary (A Dan Smith/ Bastille fanfic)

49. Dan

I take a few deep breaths when I hear the front door slam shut. It's a few seconds before I hear her footsteps come up the stairs and I know that I will be faced with her any second now. At this moment, I still haven't made up my mind as to what to do.

I have two options glaring at me in the face, waiting for me to take my pick, but both of them have their positives and negatives and my mind is fighting over the two of them.

"Hi." Eloise speaks gently when she enters the room. Her eyes are red and I dread to think about how long she's been crying. My immediate response is to comfort her and to check she's okay, so I guess that makes up my mind.

I get to her in two large steps and I have her wrapped up in my arms before she can say anything. I feel her tense body loosen underneath my hold and I hear her take a deep breath in before wrapping her own arms around my body and letting me comfort her.

We don't speak, we simply stand there for what feels like hours but it's probably only about 5 minutes. It's her that pulls away first and when she looks up at me her eyes are still bloodshot and her cheeks puffy from crying. But she's still stunningly beautiful to me.

"I'm not going to ask you if you're okay cause that seems like a stupid question right now." I attempt to lighten the mood as I reach for a tissue for Eloise to wipe her eyes with.

"Shit day." She simply replies, taking a seat on the bed. "Thanks." She smiles and nods when I hand her the tissue.

"Do you.. Do you wanna talk about it?" I nervously ask. I'm too in love with her for my own good. An hour ago I was set to break up with her and now I'm treading on eggshells trying to please her.

"Not really but we have to." She sighs loudly before turning her body to face me properly. "This is so hard." She begins to cry again and I lean over to hold her but she pushes me away. "Stop, please, I can't have you comforting me right now; it will only make this harder."

"What?" I ask, sounding as dim as ever. And that's when it hits me. She's come here to do to me what I was going to do to her. She's come here to break up with me. "What, why?" I stutter again.

What have I done wrong? I've cared for her, I've loved her; I've given her as much as I have to give. She can't do this to me. My racing heart tells me again that this is not what I want and I must do what Chloe has just suggested and fight for Eloise.

"Dan.." Eloise takes in another deep breath to compose herself before pushing her hair back and starting again. "Dan I know about what happened between you and Chloe."

Suddenly Chloe's crazy apologising earlier on tonight makes sense and I realise that she must have told Eloise about us. After all these years why would she bring up the past like that?

"Can I explain myself or do you hate me?" I cautiously ask, expecting a slap at any moment.

"I don't really want to hear about it if that's okay." Eloise turns and looks away, disgusted by my betrayal. She's relatively calm though which makes me scared. Eloise is not one to stay calm during confrontation. "Hearing about that has made me sick today. I always had this strange feeling that you and her were more than friends and I always knew that she was head over heels in love with you. I didn't think that you had ever acted on those feelings but I thought I would confront her about it today. I just didn't expect it to actually be true." She grimaces and I dread to think about the thoughts racing in my mind. They are probably just as bad as mine. "I don't think that I can trust you again and what's a relationship without trust?"

"I.. I chose you Eloise. It honestly meant nothing compared to what we had.. What we have.. That's why I cut her out of my life because I love you and I didn't want her ruining things between us."

"Don't shift all the blame on her Dan." She breaths out again and looks at me. "You both did it."

"Yes, I know, we did and we were young and I was stupid, so stupid, but I didn't want to ruin what me and you had. I never wanted to see her again, that's just happened by chance and I would happily never see her again if you could just say that we could work this out." I pause to take a breath and realise I'm crying now. I'm crying because I need her so badly. It may be because I can't bear to move on from her, but for now that will do.

"Okay." It's silent between us other than our jolted breathing.

"Okay what?" I ask, afraid of the reply.

"Okay we can work this out." I exhale a huge breath of air and my tears fall faster. "I'm not saying what you did is acceptable and I swear to god if you ever do that to me again I'll rip your fucking bollocks off. But I do believe that there's no point in ruining this relationship that we've both worked so hard on. I've been over this again and again today and I didn't think that I could do this anymore but seeing you now, I know I can't leave you." She wipes her eyes again with the tissue.

"Thank you." I throw myself towards her and she lets me hug her this time. "Thank you so much and I'm so sorry, I love you so much." I speak far too quickly and she seems like she doesn't quite know what to do.

"I haven't forgiven you though Dan. All I'm saying is that I want this to work out so we need to both try here, and I mean really try. At the moment, our entire relationship is based upon a lie and I'm struggling to see past that fact."

"I know, I know, and I'll do anything to earn back your trust." I plead with her, relieved that she's willing to give me another chance.

"You can do something." She begins and I nod quickly.

"Anything baby, anything at all I swear." I agree unknowingly.

"Never see Chloe again. Not on your own and not with a group of people. If you're doing this whole band thing you tell Chris to never bring her around you. I can't have those doubts running through my mind every time you are together." She speaks firmly to stand her ground.

"Deal. Of course. Anything. I promise." I say yes in every way possible. "For you I would do absolutely anything Eloise, you know that."

She smiles slowly and leans forward to kiss me. "And you know I would do anything for you Dan. But if you fuck this over once more then I can't do anything for you, I can't trust someone who deliberately hurts me."

"I would never hurt you again El, I promise." I lean forward to kiss her again and I feel comfort in her touch.

"Don't make me regret this decision." She warns.

"Never. Never again will I do anything like that. I love you and I want a future with you. I want us, me and you, marriage, kids, the whole lot El. I want that with you." I get carried away but I'm sure that's what I want with her.

"Okay." She simply says with a large smile on her face.

"Okay?" I question, unsure of what she's actually just agreed to.

"Okay I'll marry you."

Fuck.