Sanctuary (A Dan Smith/ Bastille fanfic)

76. Dan

I knock gently on the door again and brace myself for Chloe's response. "Go away Dan." She shouts through the door, her voice sounding drained and tearful.

"I just came to see if you wanted anything." My head leans against the door frame and my eyes begin to close.

"No. Go away. I don't want you seeing me like this." She moans stroppily and I can't help but chuckle. If she thinks I've never seen her throwing up before she's mistaken.

"Chloe, it's fine."

"No it's not fucking fine Daniel." She snaps back and I smile again at her use of my full name. "Why are you not sick too. This isn't fair, you had the same to eat as I did."

"I dunno."

"Don't you fucking 'I dunno' me Daniel." Her voice gets louder and she opens the door, causing me to fall forward slightly. "I don't feel well." She starts sobbing and I open my arms to let her rest her head on my chest and she begins wailing loudly.

"I know." I stroke her hair and hold her head close to me, still smiling. She's really good at feeling sorry for herself, that's for sure.

"I'm never ordering from that Chinese again." She steadies her breathing and leans away. "I'm disgusting." She covers her face with her hands and shakes her head.

"Again, it's fine. Let's just go back to bed. It's only 7am and my jet lag has kicked in with a vengeance." I lead her back to the bedroom and back to bed. As soon as I lay down my eyes shut and I'm nearly asleep before I hear her get up and run to the bathroom again. I conclude that there's nothing that I can do and leave her to do what she has to do.

........

When I awake, Chloe is lying next to me. She must have finally fallen back to sleep well after 8am. I decide to leave her to sleep and I carefully get out of bed, trying my hardest not to disturb her.

I stand up and stretch my arms above my head and yawn. I look around the room, unsure of my next move, when I see the packet of cigarettes that sits on Chloe's bedside table. I sigh, giving into my cravings. Then I pick up the packet and climb outside of the window. I'm angry at myself for restarting my horrible habit but it just feels natural to be sat on this rooftop smoking. Something about it makes me feel somewhat young again. I don't see it that I'm back in the place that I was when I was 18 though, I see it that I've been through so much and finally realised what's important.

I'm sat outside for quite a while and am about to go inside to check on Chloe before she joins me outside. "How are you feeling?" I ask and she replies with a groan. I lift up my arm and allow her to cuddle in closer to me.

"I'm feeling absolutely fine." She shrugs. "Just very tired." She takes the cigarettes from my pocket and lights one. "I'm sorry for keeping you up."

"Be quiet." I nudge her. "If you feel well enough let's make the most of the day? I'm only back until tomorrow."

"One day's just not enough." She gives me a weak smile.

"I know." I return her smile. "But it's all we've got. So... lunch?"

"Lunch." She agrees before flicking her cigarette lazily off the roof and climbing inside.

We decide to take advantage of the late Autumn sunshine and walk to the local street market. We enjoy walking around and trying the food from all of the stalls. I catch myself staring at her sometimes and have to quickly look away before she thinks I'm a total freak. By the end of the day I'm questioning my career and I can't stop thinking that it's days like these that should come more often. I nearly air my worries with Chloe but I remind myself not to suffocate her. That's the last thing she needs.

The reality of me having to fly to America hits when I receive a text from Kyle, telling me that he'll pick me up for the airport at midday the following day. When Chloe asks me what's wrong I have a physically force a smile onto my face and pretend that all is okay, and that I'm not completely dreading the idea of returning to the tour.

"Tell me." She pleads, taking my face in her hand and turning it to face hers.

"I'm just happy." I smile unconvincingly.

"So am I." She pecks my lips and giggles. "I'm really happy in fact." Those few words cheer me up beyond belief. However hard it is to believe it, I somehow make her happy. "I've got something to ask which has been playing on my mind all day.. Well all month really."

"Yeah?" I push her for further information.

"Don't be shocked.. But when you said you wanted to marry me did you mean it?" I scoff at the suddenness of her words. "Dan!" She scolds me and hits my arm playfully.

"Of course I meant it. It's not like I didn't think about what I was doing before I did it. I mean, I know it wasn't right-"

"Stop." She puts her hand up to my mouth. "Don't ruin it."

"What?" I pull a face at her, confused by what she means.

"I've not stopped thinking about it since. And.. I just wanted to say that although I totally freaked out and I know we can't right now, what with you being on tour or all the time and I've only just moved back here into my own place and.. yeah.. Basically I wanted you to know that I want that with you." She stops and finally looks into my eyes.

"So?" I push her again, not wanting to assume anything here.

"The answer's yes Dan, yes I want to marry you." I don't let her continue, instead I crash my lips into hers, laughing throughout the kiss.

"Are you serious?" I place my hand on the back of her head and draw her closer to me.

"I'm sorry I'm a little late at responding, but who are we to do things traditionally?"

"I don't have the ring on me!" I finally leave her lips and begin to think about what she's actually just said.

"I don't need a ring Dan. Just... This."