Sanctuary (A Dan Smith/ Bastille fanfic)

54. Chloe

I stare at the wardrobe in front of me trying to work out what the hell to wear. Dan said to get dressed up, what the heck are we going to do?

If I know Dan, and I know him extremely well, then he has nothing planned and is going to be totally winging it. That's one of the funny things about him; he never plans ahead, instead things just seem to happen to him.

That statement's pretty damn relevant for us. We never planned for any of this; from day 1 we were both alone and simply looking for someone to be friends with. Neither of us thought that we would ever be romantically linked in any way, well I certainly didn't anyway. But now after this time it's sort of happened, and I'm terrified but it seems that I'm letting my guard down for once and jumping straight into whatever this is with Dan.

I knew, I just knew, that when I saw him the other day that I was still clutching onto those feelings for him. There I was, trying to make myself believe that I would be okay with him in Chris's life, but of course I wouldn't be able to stay away. Shit, Chris, I haven't spoken to him for a while. After I saw Amelie I just wanted some space which is why I came to mums house, but now I've just realised that I haven't even told him where I am. I need to call him later on and perhaps explain some of this crazy shit.

Chris is going to think I'm mental and need locking away; I can just see it now. He knows everything about me, even more than Dan knows even. He's always heard about this prick who messed me up when I was younger and now he's going to think I'm crazy for actually going back to him after seeing him again. Jesus, I only saw Dan again 3 days ago. Is that it, 3 days? It took less than 3 days for Dan to work his way in, I've got much less willpower than I ever thought. This has been the longest 3 days of my life though, so much seems to have happened and, like a total cliché, a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I guess it didn't take 3 days for me and Dan to get together but more like 4 and a half years, that's how long this has been coming for. I thought I would despise him for the rest of my life but now we're here. We're taking it slow but the fact that we are even speaking again seems like a miracle to me.

And now I'm stood in front of a wardrobe panicking about the outfit that I'm going to wear for our.. Well our first official date. Why couldn't he have given me enough time to go home and get changed? I don't usually care what I look like, but at the moment I actually have a reason to make an effort and so I want to for Dan. I don't know why though because he has seen me look my worst at points, but then there's also points where when I've been with him I've been at my best.

I needn't have worried about what to wear though, because even though I only wore an old dress of mine which I bought for a family get together years ago, Dan couldn't stop complimenting me all afternoon. He found every opportunity to hold my hand, kiss my cheek, wrap his arm around my waist and make me feel wanted at last. And I couldn't keep my hands off of him either. He looked incredible, wearing black jeans, a white shirt and a grey blazer, and his hair as perfectly quiffed as it always used to be.

"Thank you." Dan says to me as we stood looking over the Thames at the end of the evening. It had been a perfect afternoon, he had taken me to a fancy restaurant for afternoon tea, which I never thought would be my thing but it was amazing. The food was delicious and we both enjoyed the champagne a bit too much, drinking glass after glass of it. We had wandered around aimlessly for a while and, surprise surprise, had ended up one of the spots we used to come to by the river.

"For what?" I turn to face him, moving myself so that I can see his face over his shoulder. He drops his arm from my shoulder to my waist and pulls me nearer again and I feel my excitement rising as he leans in for a kiss.

"For giving me a chance. We never exactly had a shot at this when we were younger because we were both too stupid to admit our feelings. So now we have the chance to do this, I want to do it properly. I'm cringing myself, but I love you." I can't help the smile that plays on my lips as he says the words that I've been dying to hear.