Sanctuary (A Dan Smith/ Bastille fanfic)

55. Dan

I wake up feeling far too hot under Chloe's grasp. I shuffle around in the bed to kick the duvet off without waking her and even though she stirs slightly she doesn't wake from her peaceful sleep.

As soon as I'm free from her, I want to hold her again. I want to hold her all day and night and help her understand how sorry I am for hurting her. Oh what have I done? I've totally lied to her, that's what I've done. I've tried my hardest to not let anything hurt her but in reality it's me that is hurting her the most, if she found out this then she would be distraught.

Since our first date 3 days ago, Chloe and I have been inseparable. She keeps preaching about how she needs time and space to think, but we can't seem to spend more than an hour apart. It's been totally blissful and I've tried to treat her in the way that she should be treated. We've slipped straight back into being best friends again, this time with more romance obviously since we've let our feelings be known. Being with her has made me the happiest I've been in years. Being with Eloise nearly turned me back into that shy, angry boy that I was so many years ago before Chloe set me free.

Eloise. Where do I start with Eloise? Well firstly, she hasn't spoken to me in the past 3 days, clearly still angry at our pathetic argument on Monday. I've tried calling and texting her but all I've got is an irritated reply telling me that she's too busy to speak to me. So I've tried all I can, but there's no more that I can do to end it with her. I know what I'm doing is wrong and selfish, but I can't keep away from Chloe and it isn't my fault that I can't manage to speak to Eloise. I know that as soon as I'm able to, I will tell her it's over, but for now this in between state is what I will have to stay in.

I can't believe my luck that Chloe is in my life again and I don't want anyone or anything to ruin it. In the back of my mind I know that if anyone is going to ruin this, it will probably be me though.

Chloe and I spend another day together, relaxing in the park like we're 18 again with no worries other than our choice of alcohol for the day. We lay in the park, talking about anything and everything. She makes me laugh whilst telling stories of things that she has got up to in the past few years with Chris. She nearly makes me cry whilst telling me about her and Amelie's friendship and how much it means to her and how she's devastated that Amelie is currently in the condition that she is in.

Nearly everything is perfect, but then that one thing that isn't perfect comes crashing down to ruin it all.

My phone rings and seeing as Chloe is leaning on top of me meaning that I can hardly move she reaches over to get it for me.

"Eloise?" She says with disgust as she stares at the screen before handing me the phone. "Why is Eloise calling you, Dan?" Chloe quickly moves herself so that she is no longer leaning on me and instead sitting facing me.

"I dunno, is she?" I sit up and pretend to look confused but I'm sure my facial expression says it all and shows that I've finally been busted.

"Hello." Without warning Chloe answers the phone and I panic even more as this fucked up situation has just become more fucked up. I hear the faint sound of Eloise's voice on the other end of the phone and she sounds far from happy, questioning Chloe on where I am and why I didn't answer the call. "I think the more important question is why are you calling him?"

"Chloe." I warn before I hear Eloise speak. I watch the anger take over Chloe's face and her breathing quicken in rage.

"You fucking bastard." She screams and throws the phone at me. "You actual... I.. I can't even speak to you, you lying fucking bastard." She stands up and begins to walk off but I leap up and stop her before she can get very far at all. "Don't you dare touch me." Her voice is stern and her hand grabs my arm and tears it away from its hold on her arm.

"Chloe, I.." I plead with her but I know it's no use and if I keep pushing her then she'll just slap me like she did the last time I messed up this badly with her.

"No! You don't get to do this to me, not again." Her voice is raised and she takes a small moment to compose herself before continuing. "Now I've said get off of me and leave me alone for a bit, I really don't want to do this in public. Just give me some fucking space like I asked you to. Fucking listen to me for once in your god damn life." She turns to leave and this time I grant her the opportunity to walk away.

Then I realise that I don't want her to walk her away, I want her to understand. "Chloe!" I call, chasing her towards the exit of the park. "Chloe wait." I grab her as I attempt to catch my breath. I spin her round to face me and I'm hurt to see the tears falling down her cheeks.

"I can't take any more of this Dan." She sighs and tries to stop her tears but they still flow freely from her eyes. I try to hold her to comfort her but she bats away my hand and starts crying harder. "I can't listen to lies. You never broke up with her? You've been playing us both, yet again."

"Please Chloe. Just let me explain. I'm not letting you leave here without me explaining what's happened. I tried, I swear I tried but then she stormed off and then she hasn't answered my calls since then. I tried to tell you but.. You were so happy and.." I feel strangers staring as they walk past us, but I don't care. I would happily let them take photos if it meant that Chloe would just listen to me.

"Dan, I can't listen to this bullshit anymore." She sobs. "I have nothing left to give you, I've opened up to you more than I ever have with anyone in my life before, I've given you a chance after you left me before and I've tried to get over that, I really have, but if you keep giving me a reason to regret that decision then what more can I do?" How does she not see how much she means to me, how much I want this and how sorry I am for messing up again and again and again.

"You need to trust me." I beg her, tears flowing from my own eyes.

"You've given me no reason at all to trust you." She quickly snaps back before I get a chance to finish what I'm saying. "Leave me to walk away Dan. Stop hurting me. Just.. Stop." She sighs and turns around to go, this time I don't chase her, knowing that it will only cause her more heartache.