An Unlikely Love

Chapter 21: Butterflies

Four more weeks passed with no word from Chris. I stopped expecting to hear from him, but it didn't make the pain hurt any less. I missed him. I missed everything about him. His voice, his touches, the way he tilted my chin up to kiss me, the way he put his hand on the small of my back to lead me to a room, the way his eyes looked at me as if I was the only woman on Earth.

But I couldn't let him know that. I had to be strong, and I needed him to know that I could do it on my own. I was still angry at him. The more time that passed, the angrier I became. How could he think I would do that? Did he ever love me at all? If he could walk out on his own child, then I need to protect both of my children's hearts, and mine.

I hadn't heard from Becky for two weeks. The last time I talked to her was when I felt the baby move for the first time. It felt like butterflies floating around inside, and it was so magical.

I pulled my t-shirt over my head and stretched it over my rounding stomach. I looked in the mirror and decided it looked like I was carrying a cantelope around. I had a doctor's appointment, and I was getting excited to hear the heartbeat again.

My nausea had subsided a couple of weeks ago, and I was entering into the most comfortable phase of pregnancy. The one where I'm not constantly puking my guts out and where I haven't reached the "oh my god, get this child out of me" phase yet.

I walked into the doctor's office and immediately recognized a college classmate. Her name was Ashley, and she married the star quarterback and lived "happily ever after." She flashed her perfect white smile at me. "Kendra! Hi!" she said a little too loud.

"Hi Ashley, how have you been?"

"I'm good. 7 months along!" She smiled as she rubbed her rounded belly through her pristine outfit. "How far along are you?"

"Seventeen weeks," I answered, trying to be polite but feeling awkward in my sweatpants and t-shirt next to Ashley's put- together appearance.

"Oh! I thought you and James divorced?" she inquired a little too nosily.

"We did, a year ago or so."

"Oh," she said as she peered at my belly again. "Are you dating someone then?"

What was with this girl? We're not friends. Stop asking questions.

"I was."

"I see. Someone from town? Maybe I know him."

"No," I said, getting a little pissed off. "I was dating Chris Young. He found out about the baby and bolted."

"Oh! Haha! Oh Kendra, you're so funny!" she said, waving her manicured hand in the air. The nurse called her name at that moment.

I was thankful to have the peace, and I didn't really care that she didn't believe me. I just wanted to get through this appointment and go home.

I waited in the exam room for 10 minutes for the doctor to come in. When she did, her red hair was damp on her forehead. She must've been super busy.

"How's it going? Baby moving a lot?"

"Sometimes, I haven't felt baby much lately, but a couple of days ago I felt a really hard kick."

"Okay. After today's appointment, we will want to schedule you for the anatomy ultrasound in a few weeks. Then you can find out the gender if you want."

I nodded and laid back on the exam table. The doctor measured my stomach again and pulled the doppler out to get the heartbeat. I heard a static sound as she rolled the doppler over my stomach. The doctor frowned a little as she continued to move the device around. But all that came over the speaker was the blank sound of white noise. My heart started to race and tears welled up.

The doctor noticed my reaction and patted my hand. "Don't worry just yet. Baby could be turned in a funny position and being ornery." Then, she pressed on my stomach some as if to get baby to turn. My heart pounded, and it felt like I had swallowed a golf ball. I was so scared.

She put the doppler to my stomach again. It took almost two full minutes, but a beautiful rhythmic beat sounded. I let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding and sobbed. The doctor smiled and wrote down the heart rate and left me to gather myself. After my own heart rate slowed and I began to relax, I got really pissed. Chris should have been here with me. He shouldn't have made me do this by myself.

He should be here to cry with me. He should be here to rub my aching back. He should have been there to hold my hair while I was puking. He should have been here!

The next day, Jake and I went to the local hardware store to pick out a paint color for the nursery. My parents were coming the following weekend to move the furniture from the upstairs guest bedroom so I could prepare it for the baby.

Jake and I agreed that if the baby was a girl, the nursery colors would be dark gray and lavender. Of course, to Jake, lavender was "grape". If the baby was a boy, it was going to be dark gray and baby blue. So, we were on a mission to find a dark gray paint to paint an accent wall in the room.

Jake was excited for the weekend because he was going to get "a new room" too. The plan was to move his toddler bed into the nursery and covert it back to a crib for the baby. Then, the bed in the guest room will now become his "big boy" bed. He was thrilled.

After we picked out the paint, Jake spotted a monster truck wall sticker. It would cover an entire wall in his room. He was so excited and jumped up and down. "Please, mama. Please!" I checked the price, and it was on sale for 50% off. I agreed, and Jake's smile melted my heart.

We had to make it to WalMart before dinner. I wanted to find Jake a bed set for his "new" bed. The monster truck sticker was a giant red, blue, and black truck. He already had a blue accent wall.

At Walmart, Jake picked out a red, blue, and black striped comforter. I picked out a set of black sheets. I was thrilled. My parents were bringing a black dresser they found at a garage sale. It'd look perfect with his new bedroom set. His old dresser can be moved over for the baby.

As we walked to the next aisle over, I spotted a red, monster truck rug and a couple of smaller truck wall plaques. It was perfect. His room would be tastefully, monster trucked.

My parents came the following evening. We all went out for dinner, and Jake was excited to see his "Grama and Grampa".

"So, no word from Chris?" Mom asked, keeping her voice down while my dad played with Jake.

"Nope. Not a text. Nothing."

My mom gently shook her head as the waitress brought our dinner.

The next day, we woke up early to begin clearing out the spare room. After it was empty, we painted the wall next to the window a beautiful, dark gray. After lunch, the paint had dried, so we moved Jake's bed and placed it against the now gray wall. Then, we brought in the dresser and placed it on the opposite wall of the window. The nursery was pretty much finished until we kn.

My dad converted the toddler bed back into a crib while my mom and I moved the bed into Jake's room. We pushed the bed against the wall. Jake helped me make his bed with his new blankets while my parents brought in his new dresser.

Jake and my dad hung up his new wall decorations. My mom made us some dinner while I moved Jake's clothes over to his new dresser. He was all smiles.

"Mom, look at my new room! I love it!" Jake ran over to me and gave me the biggest hug and a kiss.

That night I put Jake to sleep in his new bed. I laid down with him to read him a book. My eyes got really heavy, and I feel asleep. The last thing I felt was Jake kissing me on the cheek.