No Choice But You // Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Chapter 1

I had a booth on the train all to myself. 

I wanted it that way. 

Of course, I'd heard the news--Sebastian would be back this year. everyone was so excited, and I'd seen them all cramming into the booth with Sebastian and Ominis, eager to talk to him and see how he was doing. But I didn't want to see him just yet. I needed to be alone. I didn't know if I could handle that just yet. 

Over the last year, I'd done a damn good job of just ignoring everything that happened in my fifth year. Professor Fig was dead. Sebastian's uncle was dead. Ominis and everyone else were no longer my friends. Sixth year was me focusing solely on classes, trying to wash everything else from my head. 

There were still times when I wanted to send Ominis or Sebastian an owl when something exciting or even mundane happened. But as I wrote the letter, I realized that I had no one to send it to who even wanted to listen. 

Ominis hadn't so much as spared me a passing glance since everything went down in our fifth year. And I understood it. I wasn't mad. I was just as curious about the dark arts as Sebastian was, and I didn't even have a noble cause like he did. All Sebastian wanted to do was save his sister. Mine was my own curiosity and my own desire. 

I had no right to dabble in things so dark. I had no reason to. I was doing just fine without the unforgivables. I didn't need them. But I'd always been drawn to darker things, and maybe that was my flaw. I understood why everyone wanted to distance themselves from me. They wanted to keep their souls pure and clean, and I was dirtied by what I'd done. Even Sebastian could come back from the things he'd done--everyone heard the stories and read the paper and understood why he did the things he did. But me? I had no reason. No right. 

I rested my head against the cool glass of the window and sucked in a deep breath. I needed to stop thinking about such things. There would always be a stain on my soul from the things I'd done, and I just needed to get used to it. Using dark magic always left a tangible mark on a soul, and I was no exception. 

No one talked about the deep darkness you felt inside yourself after performing a dark spell. It was a taboo subject, and no one really talked about what happened to a person who actually did resort to dark magic. It was like a curse, the way you felt after using such magic. You felt it deep inside, like a hidden pain--but almost everyone who ever used such magic said it was worth the price. 

I said the same thing back then. The dark stain you felt on yourself was worth the power that such magic brought. 

Now? I didn't feel that way. In the night, when the nightmares came, and the waves of pain and remembrance of the magic running through you were too much to ignore, I knew it wasn't worth it. 

voices flitted through the air, and I tuned them out, closing my eyes. I took in another deep breath. We'd be at Hogwarts soon, and just like last year, I needed to prepare myself for the memories and the feelings that Hogwarts brought along with it. 

This year, I'd have to take my N.E.W.T.s, so I needed to be as focused as possible on my schooling. There was no room for thoughts like the ones I was having now. 

I crossed one of my legs over the other and looked out the window at the late summer scenery that passed by. The trees were still green, and a light breeze played with the leaves of the branches, threatening to turn colder and change their colors. It would be autumn soon. Then, everything would die and fall away from the trees, leaving them bare and vulnerable. It was inevitable. 

The sliding glass door to my train compartment clicked open, pulling me from my thoughts. A familiar person slid into the seat across from me, and I turned my attention away from the scenery. 

Anne Sallow. 

My mind reeled, thinking about the condition I saw her in last. She was in pain. She had been cursed, and nothing Sebastian was able to do could cure it. But here she was, in her Slytherin robes, on the way to Hogwarts. 

"My brother wants to talk to you, you know," she said, breaking the silence. She folded her hands in her lap and gave me a lopsided grin. "You're all he's been talking about since he's been back."

"Is that so?" I said, not sure what else to say. I don't know that it was the best idea I see him at all. Maybe we could compare scars--see how far the other has come. But I don't know that I'd be able to stand it, as selfish as it was. 

"He saw you get on the train; said he thought you were going to stop by and see him, but you just kept walking." She brushed her bangs back behind her ear. Her hazel eyes searched mine for something--whatever it was, she wouldn't find it. 

"I like to keep to myself these days," I stated. I looked out the window, not able to bear her eyes any longer. She had the same eyes as Sebastian. And the gods knew how those eyes looked at me in my fifth year. 

"So I've heard," Anne retorted. "Though, they miss you, you know."

"Who?"

"Everyone." She reached out and put her hand on my knee. "Poppy, Ominis, and Garreth came out to our house this summer. We talked. I get that you've been through a lot, but you shouldn't just cut people out like that, just because it's easier than facing it."

"I didn't cut anyone out," I said defensively. "They stopped talking to me. No one wants to be around someone like me." 

"If you say so," she mused. "Well, I best be going. Don't be a stranger."

Anne left without another word, softly closing the sliding glass door behind herself. 

No one wanted to talk to me. I knew that. They all faded from my life last year as easily as they came into it, and I personally think they're better off for it.