No Choice But You // Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Chapter 9

I went to the first place I could think of at that moment. 

I was still incredibly tipsy from the drinks I had, and was afraid to run into anyone, especially a teacher, since the veritaserum was very much still present in my system. 

I didn't like that Anne had pushed Ominis to say those things. I could tell he didn't want to. But he did, and it brought a lot of things to the surface that I'd rather not have to grapple with at the moment. 

I found myself in the astronomy tower. It was cold, but I welcomed the biting wind on my skin. It was helping to slow the spike of pain I currently felt bubbling up inside. I hadn't noticed it when I first arrived, but someone was already in the astronomy tower, tucked away in the corner where he could barely be seen. 

Ominis was sitting with his knees curled into himself with his head resting in his hands. I wasn't sure whether or not I should leave him or go to him, but my body moved for me, and sat down next to him. Perhaps it was just the veritaserum because I knew he didn't want to talk to me right now, but I couldn't help it. I didn't like seeing him like that, especially knowing it was mostly my fault. 

"I'm sorry," I said before I had a chance to stop myself. The words that came out of my mouth were not under my control.

"What happened in there wasn't your fault," he said curtly. "Anne just needs to learn when to shut her mouth, sometimes. Though I guess tonight wasn't exactly her fault, either."

"Still, I'm sorry she did that," I said again. "I didn't know what to say down there. I should have said something." 

"I don't think that would have stopped her, either," he said with a small chuckle. The laugh did not come from the heart, though. I could tell he was just trying to brush everything off. 

"So you really don't hate me?" I asked. I curled my hands into fists. I was shivering, but at least the cold was trumping the pain in my chest. I sucked in a breath and tried to ignore its presence. 

"I feel like I should, but I don't think I can," he said. 

"Why not?" My words were not my own. My brain didn't care that I didn't want any of his answers to my questions. 

"I know that the pull to the dark arts is a strong one," he said. "And I don't like to see you suffering like you are. And Sebastian was right. If I can forgive him, then I should be able to forgive you. It wasn't your fault, and I know that. I just wish that I was able to stop the two of you back then. Every day I get reminded of everything when I see you--and even Sebastian. I just wish you listened." 

"I wish I listened, too," I croaked. The pain in my chest was still growing. I was going to have an attack any minute now, and I knew it. I should've left, so that Ominis wouldn't have to see me like that again. I didn't want him to. "I should go."

"You should stay," he said, without hesitation. He put his hand on my knee. 

"No," I stated. "I want to stay, but I'm not going to." 

A jolt of pain shot into my arms and legs, and I groaned. I tried to get up, but my legs wouldn't cooperate. 

"Don't try to move," Ominis said, grabbing my upper body. I convulsed, and he pulled me into his lap, just like last time, in The Undercroft. He adjusted the hem of my dress, pulling it back down over my thighs before resting his hand there. 

I tried to calm my breathing, but couldn't. My eyes burned with tears caused by the waves of fire that spread through my body. There was no stopping it. I could only hold on to Ominis until it passed. 

"This is what I can't stand to see," Ominis said quietly. "I should have done a better job at warning you."

"There's nothing you could've done," I whimpered. "I deserve this. Whatever this is, I earned it." 

"No one deserves this," he replied. "Especially you." 

But I did. I deserved every ounce of this pain for the things I did. I don't care if he thought otherwise; there was no other way to spin it. Every jolt of electricity and fire through my veins was deserved and earned every time I resorted to using an unforgivable. 

I didn't know how long the episode lasted. through the pain, the only thing I could hold onto was Ominis's fingers as he drew senseless shapes and lines on my thigh while I lay in his lap. 

When it was over, I slowly sat up, and Ominis let me brace myself against his shoulders. Our faces were close, and I couldn't help the butterflies in my stomach when I thought too hard about it. 

"You said you would snog me," I said before I could think not to. Anne was right--veritaserum really was a cunt. 

"Yes," Ominis replied, his voice cracking. His eyebrows pressed themselves together. 

"If you were so sure that you hated me, why would you even want to?"

"You don't have to like someone to want to snog them," he breathed. My eyes were laser-focused on his tongue as he ran it across his bottom lip. 

I squeezed my eyes shut when another, smaller jolt of pain coursed through me. If anything, it knocked some sense into me. I shouldn't even be asking him these things right now, let alone looking at him the way I was. 

"I'm not good enough for someone like you," I whispered. I pulled away and shakily stood to my feet before Ominis could even respond. My face was red and burning despite the chill in the air, and I cringed at my own words. I didn't mean to say that to him. I didn't mean for him to hear that. 

He reached out after me as I stepped away and turned for the stairs. he didn't say anything when I headed down them and back to the party.