No Choice But You // Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Chapter 17

Ominis's POV//

Everything that had been pent up inside me over the last few weeks finally broke free when she went in for another kiss. All the self-control I thought I had slipped away from me, and I lost myself in her. 

I gripped her waist as she wrapped her arms around my neck, twisting my head to the side to deepen the kiss. I felt completely insatiable when she parted her lips and allowed me to slip my tongue inside her mouth. Her tongue swirled around mine, and a little moan escaped her, causing me to groan and pull her against myself harder. I just as much of her as I could get. 

"Ominis..." she whispered against my lips. 

"Hmm?" I purred. I couldn't stop. My hands slid their way up her body, moving on their own, and I tangled my fingers in her perfect hair. I took a handful at the back and gave it a tug to expose her neck. I kissed a path down her jawline, placed my lips on her pulse, and gave it a light nip. She whimpered and leaned her full body weight against me, and I knew the only thing keeping her upright was her hands that were still fastened around my neck. 

"We should stop," she suddenly said, tensing against me. "This isn't a good idea. Not here." 

I loosened my grip on her as her words doused me like a bucket of ice water. 

What the hell was I thinking?

I felt embarrassed as I pulled away. I ran a hand over my swollen lips and turned myself away from her. Her breaths were heavy as she stood there, and I wasn't sure what to think. My mind was still so jumbled from getting so lost in her, I didn't know what to do. 

"This was a mistake," I stated, trying to fix whatever it was that I'd just done. 

It was the alcohol. I shouldn't have had so much to drink, and I shouldn't have let her do that. She was way more drunk than I was, and she wasn't capable of deciding if she wanted this. Hell, I knew I didn't want this, but it was so easy just then to get lost in her. 

"Yeah, sure," she stated curtly. I heard her walk away from me with uneven steps, and I let her this time. I didn't know what I was thinking, or why I did that. 

Every time I got close to her, it was like gravity. Usually, I could resist the pull and remember how I truly felt about her, but tonight...it was different. I wasn't able to stop myself. 

I rubbed my hands over my face and pulled out my wand, opening the entrance to The Undercroft. 

God, not only did I snog her, but I did it right in the hallway where anyone could have seen. My mind was reeling, trying to find an answer for why I did that, but every time I tried, I came up blank. No answers. Nothing about this made sense. 

I went down into the secret room and paced the length of it, trying to clear my head. 

She wasn't a good person. I knew that. I'd seen firsthand the damage she was able to cause, and I had no reason to want her like that. I had no reason to want her at all. 

I was angry with myself for letting things get out of hand like that. 

I stopped in my tracks, put my hand on my head, and took a few breaths. I remembered what happened at the last party when I'd ingested the veritaserum. I knew I couldn't really be angry with her, especially after that display in the hall, but still--when I spent time with her, it just reminded me of everything that happened back then. I was around her, and it didn't feel like just her anymore. I was forced to recall the past, and it hurt too much. 

I originally thought that keeping her away from Sebastian would be the best thing, but I started to realize that Anne attempting to bring her back out of the shadows might be a good thing. I just didn't know if I could stand having her around all the time just yet. 

When she was around, I thought about the times in fifth year that weren't so bad. Or at least when I thought they weren't, but then I remembered that they'd been dabbling in the dark arts behind my back the entire time. Then, I fell witness to the aftertaste of that magic in her soul, and it made me think about when I went through that, or how Sebastian had to go through all that alone--in Azkaban. 

Sebastian didn't talk much about his time there, and I didn't push. I knew if he wanted to talk about it, he would, and it wasn't my place to pry. And with Anne cured, this year had the potential to feel just like it was before everything went downhill. 

Well, that's how it feels when y/n isn't in the picture. 

When it's just Anne, Sebastian, and me, everything feels normal. I can go back to a place in my mind where nothing bad has ever happened. We still hang out in The Undercroft, just like we used to, and go to Hogsmeade on our weekends and laugh over a pint of butterbeer. 

But when y/n is there and I hear her voice, I'm forced to recall everything. 

That's what makes everything so difficult. It would be easier to just say I hate her, and move on with life. That's what I wanted to do. But after what just happened... I wasn't sure if I was capable of doing that. 

I'd told her it was a mistake, and she agreed. With how hard I'd been on her since fifth year, there was no way she liked me like I liked her. She had to hate me. It was only the alcohol in her system that caused her to engage with me like that, nothing more. I couldn't let myself think that it was anything more than that. 

I knew that when she woke up in the morning, she'd either have forgotten that any of it happened or move on pretending she didn't remember. Either way, it would be best for me to do the same.