No Choice But You // Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Chapter 34

Ominis's POV//

I brushed my fingers along the chain necklace I wore. 

She hadn't worn hers in a while, and I'd honestly forgotten about it altogether. She was wearing it now, though. I could tell by the charm I'd put on it before anonymously gifting it to her. 

The charm allowed me to feel what she was feeling. I wanted a way to tell when she was having her episodes, but it let me in on so much more than I thought it would. 

As I lay in my bed that night, I could feel her melancholy longings pouring down the magical bond between us. I didn't know what she was longing for, but it made my heart hurt and my chest feel tight. For hours, that's all I felt, and I couldn't sleep. 

I wanted to remove my necklace and no longer feel those things, but I couldn't. I wanted to make sure she went to sleep okay. For as long as she remained awake, I'd know. 

I could always tell in the mornings anyway, when she had those dark circles around her eyes--darker than normal. She didn't sleep particularly well on a 'good' night, but tonight seemed to be filled with more sadness and longing than normal. 

I couldn't remove mine. Not until I knew she was okay. 

I could never tell her that it was me who gave it to her. One, she wouldn't like the charm I'd placed on it. I knew she liked to keep those things private, and she wouldn't forgive me if she knew that I'd known how she felt all this time. Two, I didn't want her to know that I cared about her like that. 

And so, I'd selfishly keep this secret to myself. 

I'd almost fallen asleep, when I felt a sharp jolt down the bond, making me spring up in my bed with a startle. 

I recognized these feelings. I'd felt them myself. She wasn't okay. 

Sharp pains and thick emotions poured down the secret bond. I got out of bed, threw my cloak on over my pajamas, and grabbed my wand. I headed out to the common area, knowing she'd probably want to leave her dorm. She didn't like people seeing her like this, but I didn't want her to be alone. 

I knew these things very well, and they always passed quicker if someone was there to help. The longer she kept going through this alone, the worse the episodes would get, and I didn't want that. 

As predicted, I heard the door to her room open, and by the sounds of it, she all but tumbled down the stairs. She was wheezing for air. Against my better judgment, I approached her, threw my arm around her waist, and helped her to a couch. 

She didn't say anything, but I could feel her tense up even more in my arms. She laid down across my lap in a shaking ball, and I brushed the hairs out of her face that had been stuck down to her forehead with sweat. Her skin was cold to the touch despite the sweating. 

"W-what are you doing?" she asked with a shaky voice. "Why?" 

I didn't have a response for her. I just kept holding her, not sure what else I could do. The jolts of pain were still coming down the bond, but they were slowing now. She wrapped her arms around my waist and held onto me tightly as they slowed, small wheezes and sobs escaping her lips every so often. 

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry." I stroked her hair as a lump the size of Scotland formed in my throat. "I never meant for any of this. You don't have to hold me. I can handle this myself." 

Even though as she spoke,  her fingers dug into the fabric of my cloak as if she were holding on for dear life. I heard the silent plea beneath it all, the deep feelings coming down the bond. 

Please don't let go.

I lifted her and pulled her further into my lap and let her wrap her hands around my neck. I could feel her tears against my neck as she buried her face against me. She only muttered that same apology, over and over again until the pain passed. 

Even then, she stayed there, with her arms wrapped around me. I breathed in her intoxicating scent, not wanting this moment to pass. While I was glad the pain was gone, I didn't want her to let go. She needed me a moment ago, and now the tables have turned. 

I hadn't known how much I'd missed the feeling of her body pressed against mine. I didn't know I needed her this much. 

How could I have ever pushed her away? Seeing her break like this, I knew she had repented for what happened all those years ago. How stupid could I have been?

My heart broke for her as she refused to let go. Her sobs were quieter now, but they didn't cease. I wanted to cry too, and I felt my eyes start to burn, but I didn't let the tears fall. After treating her the way I have the entirety of this school year, I didn't deserve to cry about the wall between us, because I was the one who'd erected that wall in the first place. 

Telling myself all this time that I could go without her was the biggest lie I'd ever told. I squeezed her back, wanting her to remain flush against me like she was. I still didn't know what to say, but I felt that I should say something. 

And so, I said the first thing that came to mind, my voice barely coming out a whisper. 

"I love you." I buried my face in her hair and took in a deep breath, ignoring my trembling. I didn't care what she said back. I deserved the worst, but at least I was no longer lying about how I felt.