No Choice But You // Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Chapter 5

The spikes in pain came at random, and could seldomly be helped when they did. Similar to a panic attack (which I was also unfortunately familiar with), my chest would tighten, breathing would get hard, and it would feel like my veins were on fire. 

Everyone said there were lasting effects of using dark magic, but no one actually told you what they really were. Anyone who used dark magic always thought it would be with it in the moment, but I regretted it, every second of every day. 

It came late one evening after astronomy class. There were still students hanging about in the halls, and every corner I turned, I could find no privacy. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I just couldn't. There would be questions I wouldn't want to answer. Then people would find out about my awful condition and the secrets I'd kept about myself since my fifth year. I couldn't bear it, having others know about what I'd done. 

I made it to the DADA wing and wasn't sure where to go. I turned a familiar corner and found myself standing by the clock entrance to The Undercroft. I stood there for a moment, considering what to do--then another wave of pain shot through me, almost knocking me off my feet. There was no choice to be made here. I needed to get away from the other students. 

Anyone I might run into in The Undercroft already knew my secrets, anyway. I pulled out my wand and opened the entrance. I braced myself along the wall as I walked into the secret space, listening for voices as I did so, to at least be prepared if I were to run into a familiar face. I didn't hear anything, so I hobbled along until I reached the barred entrance. They rose and let me in, and I immediately fell to my knees, crawled to the wall, and shrunk against it. My body shuddered, and I let out a small squeak, trying to keep myself from breaking down altogether. 

"Finally paying the price, are you?" someone spoke. Startled, I raised my head and scanned the room. Ominis stood at the other end, his wand held out in front of him with the tell-tale red glow. He 'saw' me, or heard me, rather. I wasn't alone. 

It didn't matter. There was nothing I could do but wait it out. I'd tried to medicate the pain before, but nothing worked. It was a unique sort of pain that nothing seemed to help. I didn't give Ominis a reply. 

He crossed the room to where I lay in a shaking mess. I tried not to let the tears that burned in my eyes fall, but it was nearly impossible. My whole body was on fire, and there was nothing I could do to end the dreadful sensation. 

"I told you many times that dark magic was nothing to trifle with, yet you wouldn't listen," he went on, "and now you're a mess." 

I swore I could hear a bit of pity in his cracked voice, but I wouldn't count on it. He was probably glad to see me reaping what I'd sowed. Towering over me, he put his wand in his pocket then crouched down, tentatively reaching a hand toward my face. I tried to pull back, but my body wouldn't let me move. His fingertips brushed against my forehead, carefully sweeping the hairs away that had fallen across my eyes. I stared up at him, not sure what to do. Not that there was anything I could do, at that moment. 

Ominis let out a sigh and seated himself beside me. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled my head into his lap. 

"It took me years to feel normal again," he whispered. "After the things my family made me do. Those things still haunt me, though. The pain leaves, but the memories stain you worse than the pain ever does." His face darkened as he spoke. 

I couldn't deny that his presence offered me some semblance of comfort. Even though I was tense in his lap as he brushed his fingers through my hair, for the first time, someone was with me while I went through this--even if it was Ominis, it was better than nothing. 

I knew he hated my guts. And he had every right to. I wouldn't argue that he shouldn't.

But he handled me more gently than anyone had in a long time. I couldn't remember the last time I was this close to anyone. 

After a little while, the pain started to recede. Breathing became easier, and I could flex my hands, forcing the cramps away. My eyes darted up to Ominis's face. His head was tilted slightly downward toward mine, and I traced the lines of his face with my eyes. 

"How long have you been like this?" he asked. His eyebrows were knit together tightly as he spoke. 

"A while," I croaked. 

As soon as I was able to sit up on my own, Ominis stood and headed for the exit, leaving me to my own devices. A few minutes passed, and the silence of the room encased me. The silence left me with nothing but my thoughts, which were reeling, and wouldn't stop. 

My stomach churned with snakes as the last of the pain receded. It was another few minutes before I was able to stand again. 

Suddenly, I heard someone else coming through the entrance and into The Undercroft. There were two voices, and I already knew who they were before I saw them. 

Anne and Sebastian stepped into the room, and I shrank against the wall, hoping they wouldn't notice me. I knew I had to be looking dreadful after that, and I didn't really want anyone seeing me like this. At least Ominis couldn't see what I looked like. I could hardly stand to look at myself in mirrors these days. 

"Oh, hello, y/n," Anne said. I looked up, and my eyes flitted between her and her twin.  "I didn't know you knew of this place. More the merrier, in my opinion, especially you." She smiled, and so did Sebastian. 

His eyes examined my face, and his smile faltered. A knowing look found its way to his eyes. "I haven't had a chance to talk to you yet," Sebastian said. "How have you been? Any good shenanigans recently?"

I forced a smile and wasn't quite sure how to respond. "Not recently, no," I replied. "Nothing especially good since you weren't here. It's good to see you back." Ominis' words were at the forefront of my head during the interaction. He didn't want me talking to Sebastian, and I really shouldn't be. "I should probably get going. I'm tired, and should turn in for the night."

"Okay, well it's good to see you, y/n. I've missed you," Sebastian said. Observing him, he seemed to be doing a lot better than I was, although we'd both indulged in the dark arts. 

I suppose I did end up using them in my ventures a lot more than he ever did. It made sense that he was bouncing back, and I wasn't.