No Choice But You // Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Chapter 10

A few drinks later, I was on the dance floor with Anne. She hadn't asked me about where I went, nor were there further questions about Ominis, which was relieving. I wasn't usually one for dancing, but it helped to take my mind off of everything else that had happened. 

Off to my left, Sebastian and Poppy were dancing closely with one another. That game must have been just the right push they needed and I wondered how long they'd been after each other before then. Of course, I hadn't noticed--I'd been too busy with myself, and that made me feel a bit selfish and bad. No one seemed surprised but me, so I must have missed it. 

I was beyond wasted by the time I returned to my bed. I hardly got my shoes off before I faceplanted into my mattress and passed out, still in my dress and tights. That night, there were more nightmares, like normal. 

* * * 

A white fire burned all around me, leaving a small untouched circle where I lay in the middle of the forest. The fire was hot to the touch but did not scorch as it spread through the trees. It wouldn't burn me, but I could feel its heat licking at my skin. 

Voices were coming from the trees--screams and cries--though I couldn't tell who they were or what they wanted. I knew they were burning, but I also knew there was nothing I could do to help them if I didn't want to suffer that same fate. I needed to remain in my little bubble of safety, where there was still heat on my skin, but a bearable amount. If I were to go looking in the trees, I would certainly find even more pain. 

I remained where I was. 

My skin was slick with sweat, and I only closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them, the fire was gone. The forest was gone. But the voices remained. I could tell who they were now. it was my friends, calling out to me for help. But this time, even though the fire was gone, my body wouldn't move, no matter how much I willed it to. Nothing worked. The screams continued, and all I could do was lay there and listen. 

* * * 

I woke up in a cold sweat, still in my dress from the party. Everything was stiff, and my head was pounding. My lungs burned as if I'd been breathing in the smoke from the fire in my dreams, and I couldn't calm my heart rate. I tried to take a few deep breaths and stretch the aches from my limbs, but the discomfort remained. I checked the little clock on my bedside table. It was only three in the morning. 

I got up from my bed and quietly changed into something more comfortable to sleep in, even though I didn't intend to try going back to sleep just yet. I slipped my Slytherin robe on over my nightgown and quietly stepped out of the dorm and into the common room. 

It was quiet. The party was gone, and even the mess had been cleaned. There would be no evidence that it happened, come tomorrow morning. 

I fell onto the sofa by the fireplace and let out a long sigh, fully relaxing into the soft, green upholstery. I traced the seams on the couch with my fingertips and started counting, trying to erase the dream I'd just had from my mind before it became something solid. 

Sometimes I could forget the dreams and let them leave my mind entirely if I could distract myself, and I'd never remember the dream again. But for some reason, this one wanted to stick. I didn't even know what the dream meant. 

Of course, everybody was screaming--they had every reason to hate me and be mad at me, no matter what I'd been told at the party. I couldn't discern what they were saying or what their tones implied, but I knew how they made me feel. How helpless I was in the grand scheme of things. 

What happened back in my fifth year happened, and there was no going back to change things now. 

Ominis could feel however he wanted about me. I didn't know why I was thinking about it so much. I never held much stock in his opinions last year, so there was no reason to now. He only said the things he did at the party because of the veritaserum. That stuff has a way of working out the things even you didn't know about yourself. I wouldn't question him further about what was said or push for more answers, and if he went back to not talking to me, I wouldn't argue with it. I had no right to pick and choose how others felt about me. 

Sebastian was a whole other situation. I knew he couldn't be as okay as he was letting on, but it wasn't my place to pry--and Ominis didn't want me talking to him anyway. I'd let Anne and Ominis work him out themselves, and stay out of it. I had no right to go inserting myself back into their lives after the mess I caused last time. 

Sometimes I think about how much better off everyone would be had I not come to Hogwarts at all. How it would have been better if I stayed at the orphanage and denied my magical genes. 

Professor Fig wouldn't have died. Sebastian wouldn't have turned to the dark arts like he had if I hadn't been there to encourage it. There were so many things that would be better if I hadn't touched and tainted them in the first place. 

Ominis had every right to hate me. I would never question him on that like Anne had. I believed him the first time when he said that he hated me--there were never any doubts in my mind in the first place. 

I didn't care that Anne was trying to drag me back into everyone's lives. I'd keep fighting that the best I could so that they could maybe finally have some peace. 

All I brought to the table was pain and discomfort, and they deserved to be happy at this point and forget everything--and leave me in the past.