Hypnotized by you

1

Vishwa

I was 13 years old when the fragrance of love caressed me. I still remember her, Sathya, my classmate who was the most popular and gorgeous girl in our class. I had a gigantic crush on her and I used to peek at her every chance I got and sometimes, I would create circumstances just to behold her beauty...

On a fine day, I tried to propose to her with a letter wherein I wrote 'I love you' and attested three milky bar chocolates my parents had bought for me. I was so curious and delighted to approach her but when I actually did so in the break time, she sobbed loudly upon witnessing the letter and threw it in the dustbin along with the chocolates.

That was the first time when I felt crushed from inside. Soon enough, the girl complained to our teacher and I got severe punishment from the scary PT sir who inflicted two painful hits on my posterior with his deathly stick. It didn't cease there, our class teacher then informed the cranky principal causing him to call my father to his office when he had come to pick me up from school.

Father stood ashamed before the Principal and apologized on my behalf. Then he asked me to do the same but I refused and ran out of the office. I was indignant.

I just proposed to her, I don't understand why she has to blow this up into a huge issue with her crocodile tears.

On that day, after getting back home, my dad scolded me and berated my mother due to the anger he had on me. I hid under the bed and cried a lot that night, denying to have food when Mom urged me.

Fed up with my action, she knelt on the floor and softly called me. She was a caring mother and I love her the most in this world. Thus, when she had spelled my name with such adoration and patted my hair, I couldn't help but slide out from beneath the bed and embrace her.

She brushed my hair gently for a few seconds and let me sit on the floor, in front of her. Cupping my cheeks, she rubbed away my tears and planted a kiss against my forehead.

Momentarily, I halted crying and Mom let out a question, "Why did you do that Vishu?" I sniffed before replying innocuously, "Because I love her mom. I want to marry her," Mother had smiled at my words.

"...my Vishu, that's not how it works kanna (an endearing word). It's bad manners to propose to a girl," I tilted my head confusingly. "But in movies, heroes propose the girls, go behind them, and make them accept their love amma," she had shook her head disapprovingly.

"It's wrong kanna. They are just acting and you should not follow what they do in movies..." I had scrunched my eyebrows at her, utterly perplexed.

"See my Vishu, love will find you on its own. It's decided in the heavens and your amma and appa will find that girl who is born for you. So until then, my Vishu Kanna shouldn't fall in love with anyone and save himself for his wife..." She trailed off teasingly and tickled me while I sat there and blushed.

Then she spoke up again, "Now now, promise me that you won't repeat this and won't love anyone until marriage," and I promised her and never broke it because I trusted her words.

I conserved my heart and body for the one that I would marry. I dreamt about cherishing my wife and spoiling her with my love...

But what the fuck did I get in return for my good intentions!?

Fucking betrayal.

-Drinking alcohol is injurious to health-

Seizing a mouthful of gulp, I release a frustrated sigh and hurl the bottle against the wall in rage.

As the glass shatters into numerous pieces with a chilling scream at once, I scramble my hands through my hair like an insane person and sit on the couch with a thud.

The apartment is eerily quiet as my ragged breathing, entwined with an alcoholic smell blends with the air.

Until five months ago, I never drank, never smoked, never cursed. I was a good person. Well, to be more concise, a stupid male who cared too much about his wife and revered her dearly, unaware of her selfish motives. I let her walk all over me, I let her use me whenever she wanted only to be left with the title of a 'cruel husband' framed by society even when the court said otherwise.

Where did I go wrong? What did I ever do to go through this misery!!?

My throat clogs and I bury my hands in my hair, attempting to push away the pretend love of my ex-wife, Hridaya...a fucking vicious woman.

"My dear hubby, this Hridaya will always carry you in her Hridaya (heart),"

That woman had lied.

She fucking deceived me for a solid eight months.

Her loving words echo in my head and I close my ears, trying to fight back a loud sob that keeps on knocking at my throat.

I had sworn that I would not mourn anymore.

She isn't worth it.

A while later, after calming myself down, I embark on cleaning the glass bottle that I'd bursted. Drizzling the home spray, I let the area to dry and enter the restroom to run a hot and relaxing shower.

A couple of minutes later, I deck out a white t-shirt, and black shorts and consumed the food that the family who had just moved out from the flat across mine offered me as their final treat. They were a lovely middle-aged couple whom I'd known for three years. They have shifted out now as their son has gotten a transfer to Delhi...

I hadn't been interacting well with them the past two years due to the issues in my personal life yet they loved me enough to bless me and give me the home-cooked biriyani that I've always adored during my initial years here in Chennai...

Done with the dinner, I turn on the television and watch random movies before slumbering on the couch itself as a result of my mental exhaustion.

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