Hypnotized by you

24

Vishwa

"Guys, shall we go to the bar today? It's been a while since we four have spent time together," Vinay speaks up as we saunter out of the office. "Yes! I'm in!" Kiran exclaims and Ashok just nods in approval. Meanwhile, I back off, "I'm busy today, you guys have fun," I voice out as I stride toward the parking lot.

Someone special is waiting for me back in my place...how can I prioritize my friends and alcohol over that certain person?

"What exactly are you busy with?" Ashok enquires while I deck on my helmet. The three of them have a confused expression as they gaze at me. I would love to disclose to them about my relationship but not in this way though. Let some days pass by and I and Kuyili will give them a surprise together.

"You will know it soon," I mutter and start the bike, taking off from the spot as I leave my friends in a perplexed state.

I attain my apartment around 5.30 pm and I've never been so excited about getting off the work and returning to my place. Entering the elevator, I stand impatiently until the door opens and lets me to my desired floor.

With my adrenaline surging, I head toward Kuyil's flat and turn the knob. It was unlocked and as soon as I opened the door, Kuyil flew in my direction and engulfed me in a tight hug. "I was waiting for you!" She blurts out as she perks up at me.

"Go and freshen up, okay? I'll make tea for both of us!" I nod at her and walk to my apartment, feeling ecstatic.

After refreshing, I put on a green T-shirt and black shorts. Then I stared at my face in the mirror and felt the need to appear better. I need to cut my overly-grown hair on the head. The facials ones are nourishing at a fast pace as well and I let it be for the time being so that I could trim it neatly once it reaches its maximum level of growth.

A few minutes later, satisfied with my looks, I wandered out of my room and was quite astounded when I saw Kuyil leisurely lying on the couch while watching a music channel. I clear my throat to gain her attention and as her vision lands on me, she immediately sits up and smiles at me.

"Vaanga, Tea kudinga," (Come, have the tea,) I suddenly felt nostalgic at her words. This sweetness...it reminds me of my ex-wife. The only difference is that she faked it while Kuyil, as far as I can detect, is being sincere.

At the thought of Hridaya, the harsh reality of my life flashes across my head. Kuyil is yet to know about my marriage. She thinks Hridaya is my ex-girlfriend...

What would be her reaction when she gets to know that I am a divorcee and If we're to marry, she'll be my second wife? Feeling disturbed at the speculation, I perch beside Kuyil uneasily and sip on the tea.

I should have told her about my marriage earlier on. What If she doesn't want me to be her better half once I reveal my marriage? Logically, any person in the place of Kuyil would feel crushed If they were to know that the person they love is someone who's already been in a marital bond. The fault is at my end. I should have been more cautious and prepared. But as everything between us occurred so unexpectedly...I completely forgot about this.

God, am I going to end up as a mess again? What If Kuyil doesn't want me after the revelation of my marriage? I could conceal it from her, but I would be deceiving her in that case. I don't wish to be that horrible person whom I loathe. I'll tell her...she can take her time and decide whether to proceed with this or put a full stop to our relationship. Dread crawls over my heart and I shift my eyes to Kuyil who is merrily watching the songs being played on the television.

I thought I'd found my happiness. Perhaps, this temporary contentment I felt was a trap made by the bitter fate to yet again wound me.

My face turns rigid as I struggle to open up to Kuyil. Detecting my eyes on her, she diverts her attention to me.

"Enachunga?" (What happened?) She innocuously peers at me. Placing the teacup on the small table in front of us, I tilt my body to her. "I need to tell you something. It's very important..." She gives me her undivided interest and scrutinizes me keenly.

Why do I feel terrified? I don't want to lose her...yet at the same time, I cannot hide it from her.

"It's about my past..." I drag, not having enough guts to expose my marriage to Kuyil. What If she abandons me?

Stupid me. How did I let myself be tangled in situations like this again? Was I that desperate to move on? Wasn't the lesson Hridaya left not enough for me to stay single?

"Vishwa," unpredicted, two warm hands cushion my cheeks, inducing me to look into the enchanting eyes of Kuyil. "It's okay, take your time," she mumbles softly and moves closer to me. Before I can make sense of anything, she snuggles my head to her chest and embraces me. Such kind of love and care propels one thaw from within and I'm no different. I found myself wilting away and hugging her back.

I feel her fingers running through my dense bristles and as she massages my scalp, the sensation incites me to shut my eyes.

Get yourself together, Vishwa. The conscious and sane part of my brain urges me and I, against my wish to just lay across her chest, push myself away from her. This is not right and will lead to no good If I were to keep such a significant matter out of her knowledge.

I've to say it.

"Kuyil, her name is...Hridaya and...she wasn't..." She interrupts me. Why don't you just listen!?

"You look so perturbed Vishwa...relax. No matter how significant it is, calm down first of all. I'm not going to judge you," Oh, I doubt that Kuyil.

"Kuyil, just listen to me..." She shakes her head. "Not when you are this scared," Argh, why is she being so persistent? "Fine, I'll relax," I heave a breath out, rubbing my temples as I attempt to muster up the courage to tell Kuyil the truth.

Man...I'm doing too much.

It just takes a few seconds and a few words. Then why does my brain make it seem like those few words would end my whole life and implement such apprehension in me??

"Do you want me to help you relax?" Kuyil whispers in my ear and I slowly turn my head to her, inching back carefully as our faces stay too close to each other. Not now Kuyil...

Let me speak first.

Do not change my mood.

But then again, gawking at her lips, I felt myself lose the track of my thoughts. This is so wrong. Don't let your mind wander Vishwa...

"Not now Ku-" she presses a kiss against my lips, invoking strange feelings in my chest. She planted kiss after kiss until I lost it, held her neck, and deepened the kiss. This is not the way I anticipated the moment to turn out...

Yet I couldn't stop it. Not when she's participating in the kiss equally and eagerly. I couldn't peel my lips away as she carried the kiss on and on, drowning me in the rapture that closed off my thinking capacity.

Kuyil splays her legs and sits atop my lap as we proceed to kiss with no care to the world. I grasp her waist firmly while she has her hands snaked around my neck, kissing me intently and passionately. It was a kiss that seemed to never end...

We didn't want it to end.

I suckle on her lower lip and bit it, stretch it, urging a soft gap to escape her mouth. Her intoxicated eyes open to watch me and I pull her even more closer to me, sucking her entire lips onto mine and ravishing them until I was satiated.

The kiss flowed for a long time before we halted. We were panting heavily and I united our foreheads, feeling complicated emotions within me. I didn't want to take advantage of her. But If Kuyil refuses to continue this relationship after my marriage is uncovered, this kiss would become a mistake.

I should get a hold on myself but...

This girl...

I seize in her beautiful self cloaked in a red t-shirt and black long skirt, seated on my lap with ragged breaths, flushed cheeks, and unkempt hair. Her hands keep scrunching the clothes on my shoulder as she tries to come out of the pleasure.

Noticing the mole on her cheek, I peck a kiss there and align my face with her again.

With those delirious and wild eyes, she gazes at me and I stare back at her in a daze...

It was as though I was hypnotized by her. I couldn't look away.

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