I'M CAPTIVATED BY MS. MONROE [ON GOING]

Consequence

"You fucking asshole" muling sigaw ni Cydd sa mukha ko. Tanga ikaw ang asshole dito, parang tanga.

"Cydd, stop it. We already settled things, I promise to tell you when she did it again" seriously, Ms. Monroe?

"Leave for now, I wanted to clear things with her. Can you, baby?" malambing na turan sa kaharap niya, umasta siyang hahalik kay Cydd kaya agad akong nag iwas ng tingin at tumingin sa paahan ko. My tears want to scape again, but I won't let myself get vulnerable in front of her again.

Narinig ko ang pag sara ng pinto at ang pag lock nito kaya agad na akong nag taas ng tingin sakaniya. I was looking at her without any
emotion, I don't want to assume things again.

"Thank y-you-"

"Get straight to the point if you want to tell me something" mariing turan ko.

"I'm sorry, Finn. But please for now, just stay away from me-"

"You don't need to say that ma'am, I will stay away from you even if you don't say it"

"Suit yourself seeing me for this whole week because after this, you wont be able to see me again" dagdag ko bago nag lakad palayo sakaniya.

Ramdam ko ang pag hatak niya sa braso ko at pag yakap niya mula sa likuran. Ito nanaman ako, gusto ko nanamang bumigay, pero hindi. I won't let it happen again, tama na.

"Get off me"

"Please don't say that I won't be able to see you again-"

"Can you please stop this? you are making this hard for me. Yes, you won't be able to see me again like this, you won't be able to see me again in this state. Hindi mo na ako makikitang ganito ka kamahal, pagod na ako. Ayaw ko na, i'm sorry but I can't continue loving you" Yes, it's a lie. But its for the better.

"What I saw and heard earlier makes me realize things, it makes me woke up. And i'm proud to say that I don't love you anymore, i'm just confused about my dreams that's why I keep on pursuing you even if you did those things to me but now, I am no longer love you, Avril. Hindi na kita
mamahalin, hindi na kita kayang mamahalin"

My heart broke into pieces after I said those words to her, but it's for the better. Para samin din 'to, gusto ko din mag pahinga na. I won't stop loving her, she's the only one I want not because of my dreams but because she is she. No matter how hurt she's causing me, she's still the one I love. She's still the one I want to do things i've never done. I really love her.

Pag labas ko ng kwarto ay dumiretso ako sa kwarto ko, malaki ang rest house nila Viox dito sa Baguio kaya tig-isa kami ng kwarto na mag kalapit at mag kakatapat lang naman.

Agad akong dumiretso sa bathroom, sinet-up ko yung bathtub. I wanna feel warm water in my skin because its making my head to cool down.

She have a problem that she can't share, I know that. The way she begged. I just realized something that she's not afraid with Cydd but she is afraid with her dad. I can tell that something's going on, if my guts are true. I'll make them suffer to death.

Just wait for me my love, I will save you. I know you are suffering from something, I am so sorry that I said those words to you. I am really sorry, I love you and I will always love you. But for now, I will stay away from you but I won't take my eyes off you. Please be brave and be safe.

Maaga akong nagising kinabukasan, agad akong dumiretso sa bathroom para gawin ang morning routine ko. It's really cold in here but it won't stop me taking a bath early this morning.