I'M CAPTIVATED BY MS. MONROE [ON GOING]

Celestine Avril Monroe

I was so hurt seing her with someone else, I know it's my fault and I chose this. It's for us, it's for her sake. I really love her, I really love Finn Portia. My Portia.

When she says that she can't love me anymore my heart broke into small pieces, when she see nothing but that bitch, Seren. I hate that woman.

I don't know what to do anymore, just one wrong move and she'll be dead and I don't want that. I don't wanna take a risk if I do, i'll only lose her. I'd rather suffer than losing her forever.

FLASHBACK

"Father, I don't want to marry him for God sake" I exclaimed.

"You do not raise your voice at me woman, anak lang kita" father yelled at me.

"Please, just this one please. Let me have my life, just this one" I am now kneeling in front of my father, begging for my freedom.

"Stop over reacting and do what I say, you're a woman and you can't do anything. You're like just your mother, you're both useless so if you want me to be happy, marry that man. It's for our company, Celestine"

"Father, I-I just cant—"

"Marry him or i'll kill your precious student"

"That's bellow the belt, pa, she doesn't now about this—"

"No more excuses, I already hire people to end her life. So if you disobey me then say goodbye to her—"

"I-I'll do it"

END OF FLASHBACK

I don't want to lose her forever, i'd rather see her loving someone else that to lose her forever. I won't let that happen.

I hope she waits for me. Just give me sometime to figure things out. But for now i'll keep my distance to her.

I remember when we first met each other, I was so anxious knowing that she's staring at me. Anxious in a good way. The first time I touch her face and the moment I knew about her secret.

I grew up obeying my father's order. I didn't get to experience how to play under the sun. My father makes me emotionless, he taught me not to be emotional. He makes me a villain but then Finn Portia came. She changes me in just a short time. I can clearly remember when she's 12 and I am 15 ig? That's the first time we met. I know you'll be confused but yeah, we already meet before but she just can't remember because of amnesia.

The night I met her, she talk to me but me being myself. I didn't show interest in her even if i'm really interested. She's talkative but I didn't feel irritated. Starting that day we keep in touch, we used to sneak out and eat in our safe place.

Do you guys remember when she brought me at her sanctuary? That's actually our sanctuary and as i've said, she can't remember anything. I'm really happy that time and I can't help but to cry I just control my tears.

On her 13th birthday we are invited at her party, in so much excitement, she can't help but to fetch me at our mansion and the tragedy happens. We got into car accident, and after that, she doesn't know me anymore. I distant myself of course, I don't want to force her to remember me. We got to together for almost 1 year? I don't know, I can't remember clearly, we're to young before. Now that we can be together, there's still a hindrance and that's my father. I can't do anything but to force myself to look strong Infront of her, I want to hug her and tell her everything that's happening but I can't. I really can't. It's so hard, it's really hard.

The day after we went to Baguio with our friends, Raquel and Harper talk to me. They know what's happening but I begged them not to tell to anyone. Raquel says if I keep on hurting Finn's feeling maybe i'll lose her, but what can I do if that's the only option to save her? I want her to live, I want her to achieve her dreams even without me. I'll die first before her.

Sometimes I wanna give up but I always remember what someone says to me "It's a slow process, but giving up won't make it fast" that's what I always remember, the words she said to me before her birthday. That's my motivation in life. Oh I really love that woman, my woman.

I am now staring at her while she's talking with a girl, she seems really really serious but the tap in her shoulder makes her look that she feel ease. I'm jelous again, I wanna be the one to make her feel that. I heave a deep sigh continuing to look after her, I always doing this, when she's going to somewhere I always come after her. I mean, I started to do this when my father threatened me.

I heard what the girl says and it makes my whole world stop. I feel numb, I feel like I wanna cry, I feel too many emotions and it makes my head hurts. Instead of leaving, I stayed.

"So you're moving forward now? I told you, ako na lang " the girl asked with a mischievous grin.

"Tanga ka ba? mag pinsan tayo gago" And with that word, I feel at ease. Fuck this girl.

The girl is whispering something I can't hear, obviously I can't hear that because she's whispering. I want to pull her hair, tss. One wrong move Finn Portia, i'll shoot your head myself. I quickly look away when she look at my direction, I did my best not to come to her and hug her. I miss her already but I can't do that, I know if I do that she'll kneel and beg me to choose her. She doesn't know how much i'm controlling myself not tell her everything the second time she kneel Infront of me. Fuck my father. She doesn't know that I already choose her since the first time we met.

"What are you doing here? Sinusundan mo ba ako?" Her voice makes my heart melt. I love her voice, it sounds music to my ears.

"Sorry?"

"I'm asking you if you're following me—"

"And why would I do that? Are you even thinking?"

"Okay, i'll leave"

"Then, leave. Stupid"

"Come with me, can you?" I can but I won't, baby.

"Why? you're so strange"

"I wanna tell you something"

"Tell me now"

"I can't, it's too confidential—"

"Say it"

"I know what's going on with you, I already know what's happening so don't you dare deny that you don't love me"

I don't know what to do, I look straight in her eyes. I see hope, anger and so many emotions that I can't name but one thing is for sure, she's so mad right now, she really is.

"I don't understand—"

"Yes you do understand, so come with me now"

"Finn, I can't, you'll get into trouble, please. If you know something keep it to yourself and stay away from me"

"I won't let you suffer alone, if you suffer, i'll suffer, we'll suffer together"

"I don't want you to die"

"Who says i'm going to die?"

"My father —"

"Shush, just come with me and you'll see"

A/N: ayan, ayan ka na naman. palibhasa alam na alam mo kung pano ako kunin e. isang ngiti, isang kanta, isang yakap, isang sorry. wala na, umiikot na ulit sayo yung mundo ko. tangina ang talino ko pero pagdating sayo natatanga ako.