Ghost Band One-Shots + HCs

🖤blowing off some steam 🔞

idk i felt like it

cirrus x fem reader

DiscordPr0togen here's your ghoulette smut :3

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Y/N POV

i laid in bed, anxious about nothing, pulling out my hair strand by strand until there were little piles on the floor and bald patches on my head. i hated myself for it, unable to control the damaging coping mechanism. as a kid id always been berated for it, my mother threatening to tie your hands to your bed to keep you from picking and my your head to keep me from doing it. it was completely unconscious, often ending in me catching myself and just laying down and wallowing in my own regret and self hatred. everything i tried never worked. therapy, habit replacement, affirmations, goals, you name it, it didn't work. i was just broken. i resorted to other coping mechanisms, taking way too many melatonin pills in an attempt to block everything out and maybe distract me for a moment by giving me the illusion of a high and cutting and even dumb shit like stabbing a pillow until there wasn't anything left to stab, but it never worked. i wanted to die sometimes, just disappear. but then id just be disappointing people. i'm sure someone wants me alone, i mean cirrus was my girlfriend and i was sure she liked me at least a little bit to keep on putting up with me.

now i laid there, picking and picking and picking away before finally catching myself.

"shit, shit shit shit"

i mumbled, quickly cleaning up the pile of hairs i'd hastily thrown on the floor beside my bed, praying there weren't any others. i threw the pile away, checking my head in the mirror and breaking down in tears, sinking to the floor in defeat. the bald spot was at least an inch in diameter, right on the top of my head. i wiped my tears and got on with putting up my hair and grabbing a beanie just in case. i looked at myself with disdain, almost glaring at my reflection. oh how i hated myself.

i checked my calorie counter app to pass time. it was only 5:00 pm and id already had 323 calories... mostly carbs... out of pure boredom i sighed and opened the fridge. immediately feeling guilty, i shut it again and just paced the kitchen. then i paced the living room. then i sat. then i stood. then i just went to bed. i couldn't sleep so i went on my phone, scrolling through pinterest for a while, hoping for the inspiration to clean or do something with my life but i just found memes and pictures of sharks. i sighed and tossed and turned a bit before pulling on some pants and a teeshirt and heading over to cirrus's room right next to mine.

"hey"

i murmured, waving tiredly.

"hey, what's wrong love?"

her face seemed tired, but not the kind of tired where she was sleepy, the kind of tired where she was overworked and couldn't sleep.

"i can't sleep, can i stay with you?"

i asked softly, my hands absentmindedly picking at the fibers of my shirt.

"yeah, id like that a lot"

i smiled sheepishly at the soft smile she gave me and the way she reached out for me. all my worries about her hating me faded away as i crawled into bed with her and she immediately took me into her arms, both of our bodies warming up.

after a few hours, she was still awake but content now. she toyed with my hair for a bit, noticing that it was still up even though i'd long since fallen asleep. she took the hairtie out and noticed the large bald patch. she gently tapped my cheek.

"y/n? love, what's this?"

she asked softly, rubbing my cheek gently with her thumb.

"mm... what's what?"