Ghost Band One-Shots + HCs

itty bitty vent

i just had a big argument with my dad and i feel really guilty it's like weighing on my chest

TW: mentions of SH and maybe other stuff

so moms had primary custody my whole life but we fought a lot for a couple years because of of some of the things dad was like feeding into my brain i guess and so yeah at the end of my 7th grade school year so 10 months ago i think then in december i came clean to mom about hating my school and everything about living with dad while i was back home with mom and so we decided id move back and so mom told dad and it spiraled until dad decided that i couldn't visit anymore until he had parental rights then he called and said i couldn't talk to him until he had parental rights and then i told my paternal grandma and she told him that i told her and he called me and yelled at me for telling my grandma and then every time we called or texted or emailed it was a fight and eventually things were better and we just exchanged memes and one time i suggested visiting dads town to get dinner with him and my great grandma and aunt who he lives with and we got into another fight about how he won't be 'babysitting for my mom' and so we just went back to exchanging memes because every time i asked him if we could just be normal again he said that wasn't possible and that we could just be meme buddies and so we went back to that but still he got really hostile any time i talked about anything he didn't like like he got mad because i was doing tennis and i have kind of shitty knees but i'm taking joint meds and i told him that and i told him going exercises like that can help strengthen my knees and he didn't listen and told me that's irresponsible then continued on to tell me that he beat the shit out of some guy infront of planned parenthood? anyway yeah so come spring break i decided id go and get my stuff and my cat back from his house since id left kind of abruptly, and so yeah i went there and dad had told me he wouldn't be seeing me but when i got to his town he told me to go have lunch with mom and my brother or something and that he'd be at the house in 10 minutes and we didn't get lunch because i didn't want to see him we were just going to get my stuff and go so yeah i got there and started getting my stuff but i couldn't find my cat and long story short when dad got to the house he told me that i couldn't have my cat back and that he brought my cat somewhere and he didn't tell me where and so i got my stuff and it escalated and mom called animal control since chuck (my cat) is microchipped in her name but basically animal control couldn't do anything about it and so dad was just yelling at me about how moving back will ruin my life even though i wasn't doing jack shit to improve my life when i lived with him while i literally was just sobbing in the driveway yelling at him to give me my cat back?? and so he tried ignoring the conflict and he tried saying hi to the family dog and he just barked at him really aggressively which good boy jack but anyway yeah every talk with dad since then has been a fight and they just keep escalating and o had him on do not disturb for a while but i turned it back on after this fight and like i still feel really guilty about it and idk why but this is the fight

dad: Is this who you want to be? Somebody who texts their dad only once every few weeks specifically to be cruel?

me: is this who YOU want to be? somebody who calls their kid every day after they made it clear that they don't want to talk to you because 1) you stole their cat 2) spent way more of their money than you said you would 3) gaslighted them into hating their mom for years while consistently telling said mom that you were trying to keep her and her kids relationship steady and healthy 4) constantly tried gaslighting them into thinking that everything you've been doing to fuck up their mental state for the past few months is for the best 5) told them their first relapse after almost a year of being clean was 'for attention' because they accidentally left the empty pencil sharpener in a hoodie pocket 6) gaslighted them into not telling my mom a bunch of shit like them having to clean up ravioli cans with inch thick mold inside 7) constantly invalidating their dysphoria 8) ignoring it when they were overexerted and making it into their problem when they couldn't do the workout routine of a full grown adult (physically at least, i think there's some maturing needing to happen if it ever will) 9) telling them they shouldn't wear shorts to school because a scar was showing because 'they don't want to be that kid' 10) making it their problem that their mom didn't want to give you parental rights after all the of the above 11) being a total narcissist and having literally no regard for their interests 12) banning them from listening to ghost for a week because 'you no no wanna🥺🥺' 13) completely ignoring their boundaries constantly 14) told their mom their self harm habits were her fault and sent her extremely hurtful emails while telling the kid that their mom was being hostile and that you've been as professional and unhostile as possible.
there's way more where that came from to fit all in one text honestly
i used to not give a shit about hurting your feelings with this shit but honestly i'm just done because i've been so anxious and constantly down because of all this
but yknow what
i forgive you
because i'm not being to wallow in this forever

dad: I love you, kid

me: then act like it
good job at trying to gaslight me
into not thinking you've been totally shitty to me for the past few months i guess??

dad: I'm not going to complete without mom to offer you the most ideal teenage dream life imaginable and I'm not going to send Chuck back there so he can disappear like every other cat you've ever had there. I'm sorry you're too young to understand what's happening

me: once again, i'm pretty sure i'm not the one who's immature for their age
but honestly whatever you want to think
if you think the teenage dream life is a stable household that doesn't smell like cat litter and have fleas then so be it, that's the teenage dream life and if so then good choice not trying to compete with that
all you're doing with your actions is pushing me further away and i'm sick of being constantly anxious and upset about this

me: oh sweet
bye babysitter 👋

dad: I told you this would happen.
I love you, I hate that your mom stole you from me

me: uhm i think according to the law parents can't steal from babysitters
and might i remind you
that's what you've reduced yourself to

dad: show this to your therapist

me: great job avoiding the fact that you still haven't apologized for any of the 14 reasons i'm upset with you
i don't even care if i'm not being the bigger person right now
i'm so done with all this honestly

dad: I'm not going to go through a list of revised memories

me: i'm gonna play wall ball with my brother and friend now because that's what doesn't make me anxious and upset
bye

dad: I know. It's easier to make me a villain than it is to accept that you were doing better here, even though you're happier there, at the moment, with your friends, not going to school.
You need to go to school at a school where you aren't cornered in the bathroom and sobbing every day.