Mysty's Book of Oneshots.

So spicy it hurts... My head (Jormus/KootraPKC)

Seamus stood staring at the contraption Jordan had set up for him. "What is that?" The blond asked as he raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. "It's a sex swing, you said you wanted to spice up our sex life..." Jordan said trailing off at the end. "What the fuck Jordan, i'm not getting in.. that." Seamus said as he gestured to the death trap in front of him. "But Seamus! It'll be fun and different and you said-" The taller of the two said before being cut off but the other. "I know what i said but i'm not getting in that. It's death trap, you want me to die?" Seamus said exaggerating a bit. "Sea you won't die, it's perfectly safe. i secured it and everything." Jordan said trying to assure his love that it was in fact safe. "Jor, you almost killed me with a TV... i'm not getting in that." Seamus said holding his ground, arms crossed over his chest. "First i didn't almost kill you and please sea, please." The tall cat lover begged as he looked at his lover. Seamus just shook his head no and gave Jordan an un-amused look. That how ever did not stop the younger's whining.

"Jordan why don't you show me how 'safe' it is." The blond finally said after a bit of whining from the other male. "And who knows you might look better up there then I would." Seamus said with a chuckle and a wink. "Sea I don't go there, yo-" Jordan started to say before being cut off again. "Jor, I know the one being fucked goes in it but if you look good maybe we can switch it up. That'll be spicy." The blond said with a laugh. Jordan just turned red from that, his mouth hung open. "I... I... um... I..." He said as he stumbled over his words, trying to think of what to say. "Jor, I'm kidding. I won't fuck you, yet." Seamus said as he wiggled his eyebrow suggestively. "But in i'm not getting in first. If it holds up your tall lanky ass then i'll try it but not till then." He added with a flat expression. "Fine, help me get in." Jordan said finally giving in to the shorter male.

"How the hell do you get in one of these anyway?" The Irish male questioned as he pulled at the swing. "Well the book thing it came with said something about legs here." Jordan said as he pull at two pieces. "And you sit here." He said pointing at the middle area. "I think you hold on to these?" The cat like man questioned more than said. "Jordan did you read this book?" Seamus asked turning to look the other in the face. "Uh.... A little... Its not that complicated we can figure it out." Jordan said with as shrug as he started to get in. "Now come help me, this isn't easy." He said as he tried to get his leg in one of the straps. "Good lord Jordan, if you don't have a concussion by the end of this i will be surprised." The short male said as he shook his head, walking closer to help his idiot of a boyfriend. "Jordan your legs are too damn long, i swear." He said as he struggled to help the other. "Thats not my fault, i'm just tall." Jordan whined as he tried to bend more. "Either we're not doing this right or you need to be more flexible because this is not working out." Seamus said as he stepped back to look at Jordan all tangled up. "Well don't just stand there! Help me get out!" Jordan said as he struggled in the mess of straps. "Fine, just stop moving. You're making it worse." The blond complained as the normally red hatted male continued to struggle. Suddenly a loud noise was heard and then both males where on the ground. "I told you to stay still." Seamus said with a groan. "Sorry, i just wanted out of there." The tall male said as he rubbed his head. "I think i hit my head." He said after a moment. "Well that's what you get." The blond said as he pushed Jordan off of him. "Oh it's safe Seamus. i secured it Seamus. blah blah blah." Sea said as he mimicked the other. "I told you it wasn't safe, fucking dumb ass." He grumbled out. "Awe Sea come on, it's kinda funny." Jordan said with a light laugh. "No its not! Whats funny? That you fell on top of me, that you were wrong? I don't see what's so funny." Seamus said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Come on sea." The boss-man said as he elbowed his boyfriend. Seamus tried not to crack a smile but soon let a chuckle out as he shook his head. "God damn it Jordan." He laughed out as he stood up. "Come on let's go get some ice for your head and we can figure out other things to spice things up, that won't kill us." He said as he held out a hand for Jordan to take.

"Or.." Jordan said as he took Sea's hand and pulled him back down on to his lap. "We could sit here and have you kiss me till i'm all better." He said as he kissed at the other's cheek. Seamus just shook his head and kissed Jordan lightly. "Your so weird and stupid sometimes." He said softly. "But you love me." The taller said with a smile. "Yah, i guess I love you." Seamus said with his own smile. Jordan just pulled Sea into another kiss and sat there in the mess of a sex swing that neither of them would ever use.

*A/N*

Another oneshot for you Two in one day how lucky!

Anyway so me and my writing group friends were talking about a post on tumbler i saw and it was a pic of James hanging of the truck ride out side of the kmart with the caption "i bet he has a sex swing at home". Well my one friend Jani said what if James and Aleks got a sex swing cuz Jordan and Seamus has one and some how i got this idea and wrote it so hope you like !

~<3