John and Marlena (Finally) Get a Q!

Chapter 51 - Love In The Mourning

It's the wrong game with the wrong chips
Though your lips are tempting they're the wrong lips
They're not his lips but they're such tempting lips
That if some night you're free
It's alright, it's alright with me

Cole Porter

The nausea boiled in John's stomach, and he thought he might throw up. He had taken a step inside Marlena's bedroom before he realized that Marlena was not asleep, and that she was not alone. The sight that had greeted him had been almost incomprehensible to him. He loved Marlena more than it was fair or should be possible to love someone. And he had thought he had known her better than anyone could. But in that darkened room, she was making love to another man, and in that one moment, John felt everything he cared about slip away from him.

He stood stunned for several moments, half hidden from Marlena and Q's view by the wall, as his bewildered mind tried to comprehend what was happening. He was staring at them, his mind spinning, his world disintegrating around him but he barely saw them. It was as though he was looking through a stranger's eyes at two people he barely knew. He saw them move in a slow sensual rhythm; their hands linked as they stared at each other. Neither of them seemed aware that he was there. It was almost as if he were as invisible, as *nothing* as he felt.

Marlena raised their paired hands, smiling at the way Eugene's engulfed hers. Using them as resistance, she altered her movements slightly. Q gazed at her radiant face, her damp bangs plastered to her skin, her lips red and crushed by all the passionate kisses.

"My God you are so beautiful," he murmured in awe. "I want to give you everything I possibly can. I want to make *every* experience you have more incredible than you've ever imagined."

"Mmmm.... well, you're already doing a pretty good job," Marlena's eyes sparkled.

"Even though this time it's just us?" He was still uncertain that he had done the right thing. "You know I want this to be wondrous for you. If you want I can..."

"Sshhh..." Marlena smiled as she squeezed his hands. "You're just amazing and I feel so lucky to be here with you. Yes, it was wonderful before, but now it's even better. Now it's honest, it's just you and I and how we feel about each other. And that's very special. And *very* sexy."

The small muscle in John's cheek twitched madly as he watched Marlena lean over to kiss Q. Q's hands loosened from Marlena's and buried themselves in her tousled hair as he kissed her deeply, their movements becoming intense and more passionate. John turned away and pressed his fingers to his mouth, trying to quell the bile that burnt his throat. In his worst nightmares, he could have never imagined that she could do this, turn her back on everything they had meant to each other. And like this.

He grimaced as in the blackness of his mind the image of Eugene's hands on Marlena tortured him without pity. Eugene, who had once been his friend and had professed to want to help him. Who knew the truth about the baby that Kristen was carrying? And who was obviously taking advantage of Marlena's kind and trusting nature.

Part of John was tempted to march into the room and demand to know what the hell they thought they were doing with his children only feet away. But another, more rational facet knew that he had no right to do that to Marlena. After all he had put her through with Kristen, he had no right to demand a say in her life, to expect that she stay true to him. He had no rights at all, and he had only himself to blame. She had told him that their relationship was over. So, now, at last he came to a final and painful realization that she had really meant it.