John and Marlena (Finally) Get a Q!

Chapter 79 - Letters II

The worry in John's voice perforated the fog in her head and Marlena was suddenly aware of how close he was. He was practically holding her in his arms, and she could smell the sweet muskiness of him. Her heart tapped out a staccato rhythm as she raised her head to look at him.

He was so close that she could see the flecks of grey in eyes that looked as though they had been dyed the color of the Pacific Ocean. But, more than that, she could see the *truth* in them. And it took her breath away.

Wordlessly and with sweetly excruciating slowness, she nodded.

With relief, John smiled and loosened his grip on her arms. He was almost giddy with her closeness, but he didn't want the moment to end. For a long minute, he was silent, just drinking in the sight of her. He could almost imagine she was his again as his eyes traveled the familiar pathways of her face and lips.

For a second, he had an overpowering urge to press his lips to hers, to see if she still tasted as honeyed as he remembered. But instead, he backed off slightly and cocked his head on one side.

"You had me worried there for a moment," he raised his fingers and brushed her cheek lightly.

Marlena took a sharp breath, his touch and his closeness almost overwhelming her senses. She wanted nothing more than for him to kiss her but instead, he just looked at her, an unreadable expression on his face.

"John," Kristen's shrill voice interrupted the moment with a harsh shock. "John, I've been looking *everywhere* for you."

Jolted out of the exquisite moment, John looked up and past Marlena to where Kristen was standing in the doorway. Looking less than happy. At the same moment, he felt Marlena's muscles tense under his hands.

"I have to go," she muttered unhappily as she pulled herself from John's grip and threw the clothing she was still holding into the crib.

Not even acknowledging Kristen, she brushed past the other woman and left the store. Kristen turned and contemplated Marlena as she dodged Salem Place shoppers.

"Well," she said breezily as she turned back to John, "whatever you said to *her* didn't go down very well, did it?"

******

March 29, 1997

Sweetheart,

I saw your daddy today. I wanted to tell him about you, I really did. Maybe I am a coward, I just don't know. Somehow the words would just not come out. And then Kristen arrived, and I couldn't. I can't even face him anymore. He has another family now, and I feel like I have no right to ask him to give that up. Not after everything I have done.

Oh, how I love him. It *hurts* it's so strong. I just don't know what to do.

I came home and cried after I saw him. I hate the tears and I hate the weakness, but I cannot help it. I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about your daddy.

I just don't know what I am going to do.

Mommy

April1, 1997

You know, I have been thinking about when I saw your mom the other day. It was so *strange*, it wasn't what I expected at all, and when she saw Kristen.... I have been thinking about what Eugene said, about how she was devastated when she found out that I had moved Kristen back into the loft.

But that happened well after she started her relationship with Eugene. I don't understand anything anymore it seems. I did everything I could to win her back, and I thought it was working, but then I found out she was with Eugene. Why did she do that? After so long? What was the last straw for her?