John and Marlena (Finally) Get a Q!

Chapter 73 - Enmity

Marlena lay on the bed in the darkened room and stared at the wall. She had tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes she was assaulted with images of John and Eugene and her eyes would flicker open, glistening with fresh pain. She had never meant to hurt Gene. She had never meant to hurt John for that matter, but in running away from her problems, she knew she had managed to hurt them both badly.

"What's wrong with me?" she whispered, wiping a tear away with the back of her hand. Was she really so out of touch with her own feelings that it took something like this to admit the truth to herself?

Her hand drifted downward and came to rest on her stomach. A baby. It should be such cause for joy, but with Kristen's baby being due only three months before this one, she knew that simple mathematics declaimed that someone would miss out. And John knew it all now. He knew what Kristen had done, the lengths to which she had gone to keep them apart, and still, he had chosen to take her back. He was already father to Belle. So why would this baby make any difference?

Marlena crossed her arms across her stomach, curling up in a protective ball. But it wasn't just the baby now, it wasn't just a question of what had happened in the past. It was a loss of trust on both of their parts. It was a deep and unforgiving anger that kept them from moving past their mistakes. It was the pain and the fear of more pain that muted them and kept them apart. Marlena wasn't sure how or even if they could ever get past that, even if all the obstacles in their path were removed. Assuming they both wanted them removed.

And then there was Eugene. Dear, sweet Gene, who had given her so much and asked for nothing in return. Nothing except for a few weeks of happiness. He had put everything on the line for her, risked everything. And she had thrown it back in his face.

More tears merged with her lashes and then dripped silently onto her cheeks. She remembered how she had felt that night. He had saved her when she had just wanted to die. When she had wanted to put her head down on the pillow and never wake up to the pain again.

When things had been at their bleakest, he had held her, and he had told her he loved her. He had given her the lifeline that she had needed. The truth was, if he hadn't been there for her, she didn't know what she would have done. She didn't know how she would have made it through the loss, or even if she would have made it at all.

"Please," she whispered hoarsely, "if you can hear me, please...... don't punish him for my weakness. Don't ask him to pay for my mistakes." She tightened the arms that cradled her stomach. "He didn't know....... you don't understand. He *saved* me. Please don't make him suffer for that." She wiped away the tears and sighed.

"He had a jolly good ol' time saving you," Marlena looked up in shock to find Q2 sitting on her sofa, a sardonic smirk on his face. "If nothing else, he got a good workout."

"You!" She recognized the impertinent smile and shrank back slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"You seemed to want to talk to us," he shrugged with an amused air. "We thought it might be mildly interesting to hear what you have to say."

"I don't want you to hurt him," she said immediately as she scrambled into a sitting position.

"What happens to Q isn't a matter for debate," Q2 raised a wry eyebrow. "What *you* want I'm afraid, is neither here nor there."

"Then *why*?" she shot back immediately, her ire rising. "*Why* if our relationship was so *forbidden* why didn't you stop it? You're supposed to be the *omnipotent* ones. All-seeing and all-knowing. Why did you let us go on? Why did you let him fall in love with me?"

"Because this was Q's *test* dear Marlena," Q2 let her name roll off his tongue with acidic relish. "One, I might add, which he failed miserably."

"But why did you let it go *on*?" she persisted, angered by his smug self-assurance. "Why didn't you just whisk him away at the first convenient opportunity? Do you enjoy seeing him in pain?"