Marvel Imagines: Book One

Three Hundred And Sixty-Five Days (thor)

Pairing: Thor x Female!Reader

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, losing someone you love

Summary: Three hundred and sixty-five days after losing Thor, the heartbreak is still as raw as when it happened. The only thing that can make it better is seeing him, and the only person who can help you get there is Wanda.

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It's been three hundred and sixty-five days since you last saw the love of your life. Your heart has broken three hundred and sixty-five times. There have been three hundred and sixty-five sleepless nights without the love of your life next to you. He died exactly one year ago today and you haven't been the same since.

You can't sleep. You can't eat. You can't go on missions because you're reckless. You're getting more depressed each day. What's the point of living if your other half isn't here to spend it with you? The love you and Thor shared was a fiery passion. It consumed you from the inside. You craved his touch, his attention, and his love. Everything you did, you did for him. You were and are in love with him and he was in love with you.

Now that you don't have it or him anymore, you're lost. You don't know which way is up, and you're drowning in your own heartbreak every single night. How are you ever going to be able to move on? You haven't been able to do anything for yourself since his death, so you've been staying in your room at all hours of the day and night.

In the beginning, the other Avengers left you alone knowing you were grieving. A handful of months after that, they got concerned when you started shutting people out and tried to help you, and that's when you started your "lashing out" stage. More months after that, and they are trying to get you back on your feet even though you're not making it easy for them.

Steve knocks twice on your door to be polite even though he has no intention of waiting for your permission.

"Y/N?" he says and opens the door. "Are you okay?"

He walks inside and sees you lying on the bed in the dark with a heap of blankets on you. He can barely see your face but he knows you look broken. He wishes he knew how to help you.

"No," you barely mumble.

"Do you need anything? Food? Water? Sunlight?"

"I want Thor back," you start to sob.

Steve just stands there unable to help you. He doesn't want to say the wrong thing and get you more upset, and he certainly doesn't know the right words to say. Instead, he offers physical comfort and rubs your back. That causes you to cry harder.

He sighs and leaves your room.

Natasha is next and she only knocks to announce her presence. She walks into your room and sits on the edge of your bed.

"I know more about pain than most. While I've never loved anyone as much as you love Thor, I do know what it's like to lose someone you love. You act like you're alone in this but you've got people on your side here."

"How do I do this without him?" you sniffle and look at her with tears in your eyes.

"Fake it until you make it, then maybe you'll start believing that you're okay. One day, you will be."

"Who am I going to fake it for? He's dead and he's not coming back."

You shove yourself back underneath the covers and she sighs. She really thought she was getting through to you. She pats where she assumes your legs are before leaving your room.