Double Vision

25

025. reha .

mar. 20, 2024.

2:45 p.m.

It's been 45 minutes and she still hasn't showed up. I'm starting to lose hope.

I stared down at my phone, at the texts I've sent Bella, all left on delivered. Not even read. It could be worse. At least I'm not blocked.

Knowing her, she probably overslept or something. Definitely. 

I sound stupid right now. 

I'm getting weird looks from everyone sitting around me. I should probably order something. Order coffee and sit alone and drink it? Pathetic.

I sighed, standing up and getting into line. 

"Caramel Macchiato, please," the girl in front of me mumbled, her voice shaking. Goddamn, is she okay? Maybe she also got stood up.

"Could I get a name for the order?" the cashier asked, picking up a sharpie.

The girl nodded. "Miri."

She turned around to leave the line, freezing as we locked eyes.

"Reha?" she sputtered out.

"I, uh— M-Miri—?" I choked, cringing at my own words. So Miri's her name? I can stop addressing her as Bella's sister now. 

She raised her eyebrows, blinking before composing herself. She grabbed my arm, dragging me out of line, and I gave the cashier an apologetic smile.

"Are you here alone?" she asked, looking down at me as she leaned against the counter.

I shook my head. "No— I mean, I am right now. But I'm waiting for Bella."

Her expression shifted, and a heavy silence settled between us. The air suddenly felt thick with tension, and I couldn't quite grasp what was going on.

"What's wrong?" I asked, feeling my eyebrows knit together even though I've been fighting so desperately to keep them relaxed before I have forehead creases.

Miri took a deep breath, her eyes avoiding mine for a moment. When she finally met my gaze again, there was a mixture of sadness and sympathy in her eyes. "I, Bella... Bella won't be able to make it."

I frowned, my mind struggling to process her words. "What do you mean? Did something happen?"

She hesitated, biting her lower lip. "She had an aneurysm last night."

For a moment, I didn't even know what to say. An aneurysm? She's kidding, right? "What? Is she okay? No, that's a stupid question, but, like, how is she doing?"

"She's dead."

I swallowed, taking a moment to let the words sink in.

"I'm so sorry," I stammered, not knowing what else to say.

I felt a lump in my throat, struggling to find words that could offer solace. But at the same time, I feel like I'm about to throw up. 

She shook her head. "It's not your fault. Wanna sit down with me?"

"I'm, um—" my words caught in my throat. "I'm fine. I think I'm gonna go home."

I stumbled away awkwardly, feeling half dead. I couldn't feel my feet touch the ground with each step I took.

Bella's dead. How dare she? How dare she kiss me then die like that? What even happened? Was she murdered? Sudden heart attack? I don't understand.

The streets outside seemed surreal, the bustling cityscape indifferent to the turmoil raging within me. I found myself wandering aimlessly, lost in a haze of disbelief and grief. Each step felt heavy, weighed down by the enormity of what had transpired.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out reluctantly, half expecting to see a message from Bella, as if her sudden absence could be explained away with a simple text.

But it wasn't Bella. It was a notification from a friend, asking if I wanted to hang out later. How could they not know? How could anyone go about their day as if nothing had changed?

I pocketed my phone again, unable to bear the thought of engaging in trivial conversations while my world had been shattered.