LoveBite [2]

85

Trapped back in those white walls, machines all around, beeping and wiring all at once, but the two are still alone. Peter with his head in his hands. Satine, covered by a hospital gown, wearing the only mask that can keep her alive as it forces oxygen into her system.

He lifts his head with tears staining his face and the machine suddenly stop. Every single one cuts out just like that, except for her heart monitor. Once again, he's forced to listen to that same bell that never stops, indicating the end of her life. The same bell that nearly killed him.

Her chest collapses and her face, though unmoving before, manages to drop even further as he calls out to her.

"Satine." He shakes while reaching out to her, but he receives no response. "Satine." He pushes his arm beneath her heavy head and cups her cheek. "No, Baby, no." He shatters above her lifeless body. "No, please come back to me. Please don't leave me."

♡

Suddenly, he jolts awake to the feeling of a hand on his face, gently shaking him to break him from his nightmare.

"Peter." Satine calls nervously, leaning over him, and his eyes widen.

"Hey." He sits up on his elbow. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"You were having a nightmare." She pushes his hair out of his face as he looks her over and he just barely holds her hip. "I just wanted to get you out of it." She scooches closer and he nods, dazed and exhausted.

"But you're okay?" He looks into her eyes and her brows furrow.

"Yes." She nods softly, concerned for him. "Of course. I'm okay, you don't have to worry."

She slides her arm around his neck and hugs him close, heart to heart, and he forces out a shaky exhale to calm his racing heart. He hangs his head in her neck and closes his eyes, only grazing his palm up her back.

"I'm okay now, pavúk." She whispers softly and his brows furrow. "You can breathe again."

♡

Satine makes her way into the living room and finds Peter making a sandwich, one she can guess he is going to make her eat, because he hasn't had much of an appetite lately, though she can't say she blames him for that. She decides to come to him and like his senses went off as she got closer, he whips his head around and watches her lean against the edge of the counter.

"Hey." She pushes her hair behind her ears.

"... Hi." He turns back to the bread in front of him.

Her head tilts a bit and she reaches out for his arm, but he quickly moves to the side and around her to get to the fridge. Her brows furrow as he comes back, but she can't help, but notice something different about his routine.

He won't touch her and he barely even looked at her. Peter has a thing about almost constantly looking at her, even when it somewhat annoys her, but no matter what, he will always touch her as he passes. He could be doing something extremely important, but if she walks by, he makes sure to at least graze her hand, but he won't even let her touch him.

"Peter."

"Hmm?" He moves around her again to grab a knife and she spins to face his direction.

Of all times for him to start sheltering off, right now is not it.

"Peter." She calls a bit firmer and he turns to her. "Why aren't you touching me?"

"What?"

"Why won't you make any physical contact with me?" She shakes her head.

"I don't know wha --"

"Peter, yes, you do, I know you do, because it is deliberate, you are doing this on purpose and I just want to understand why." She taps the counter as he just stands and stare, not knowing what he's supposed to say. "Peter, please touch me."

"I..." He only barely inches closer and her heart drops as tears fill her eyes. "I can't --"

"Touch me please."

"Baby, I can't do it." He shakes his head.

"Peter." She adjusts her stance and he begins to stutter. "You can't, or you won't?"

"I --"

"Hold me!" She slams her palm on the counter, to feel it sting afterwards. "I just --!" She starts before she sighs shakily with her hand to her chest. "I just want you to hold me." She breathes. "I'm not fragile, I am not a glass cup that will shatter as soon as it hits the floor."

"I know." He nearly whispers, feeling the pain of fear and despair in his chest.

"Do you?" She tilts her head, speaking through her soft cries. "Because I don't believe you. I know you love me, and I know you're scared, I am too, but you cannot distance yourself from me because of this fear, you cannot leave me alone right now because if you do, I will break and I can't handle that right now." She shakes her head. "When I have to try so hard to fix myself for Anya, I can't do that for you, I need you to be there. I need you right next to me, but you keep backing away and I can't stand it. So please, just hold me. Grab me and grip me anywhere, I don't care where, but I need to feel that you are here with me, because I can see it, but I can't feel it. I don't where you are right now and I'm so sorry for what I did to you, I didn't mean to leave you..." She takes a deep breath as he stares at the floor, shrinking into himself. "I didn't mean to leave you, Peter. I'm sorry." Her brows wrinkle. "You know, I feel like now I'd need to fake passing out, just to get you to lay a hand on me." She shrugs softly and he closes his eyes, regretful.

"Please don't."

"Then what can I do?" She nearly whispers behind her quivering chin and he looks up at her. "Tell me how I can fix this. Or, at least, tell me why you won't touch me."

"I don't wanna hurt you." He shrugs one shoulder with a disturbed grimace and she hangs her head. "I did hurt you." He nods and a cry escapes her throat as she covers her face.

"No, you didn't." She sobs and he steps closer. "You never hurt me. You --" She exhales difficultly and he grabs her wrists. "You n-nudged me, you didn't --"

He pushes down his fear with a force he hasn't had since they were in the hospital and he simply presses his front against hers as she snakes her arms tight around him, gripping his shirt in her fingers.

"I didn't mean to hurt you now." He lays into her hair. "I just don't like the possibility of you ever hurting and now that I know I could do it, I can't risk it."

"I need you to risk it." She mumbles against his shoulder and he nods. "Because none of that matters. The only thing I care about is you having your hands on me, just so I know you're still with me."

"Okay." He whispers. "Okay, I will. And I'm always here, that's not changing."

"It better not." She closes her eyes, now exhausted. "And I'm not going anywhere either."

"You better not."