Back Talking & BackHanding

Ssss

Ari POV

I didn't remember falling asleep but who does? When I woke up, Sean was sitting on the end of his bed with his hands over his eyes. There was no noise. No soft whimpers or sighs. No mumbling to himself. He was quiet. I sat up slowly with a yawn and rubbed my eyes. Still looking over at Sean, I removed myself from the bed and slowly walked in his direction. "Sean?" I asked softly.

I got no answer. But, I still made my way over to him. I tapped his shoulder lightly, scared he wouldn't want me to touch him. He didn't move. Lifting his head off his hands I realized he was sleeping. I laid him down on the bed and removed his shoes. Struggling, but succeeded slowly, I dragged him to the top of the bed. Sean looked so cute sleeping. I just wanted to cuddle his little adorable self.

That wasn't how I needed to be thinking, though. He'd hurt me that morning and the night before and I still seemed to lose sight of all the bad things he'd done to me. It's like all of the good things about him just kept overpowering the bad things about him. On one side, that seemed good. That's what I should look at. The good things. But in the other hand, the bull shit Sean put me through was not acceptable.

He did not have the right to put his hands on me like that and I didn't deserve to be forced to sit there and take it. He didn't have the right to physically, verbally and emotionally abuse me. There were times he was sweet, however. And I liked those times. I felt safe with him but also like his arms was the most dangerous place I could ever be.

And I liked that feeling. I liked how confused Sean made me. I like how he made me hate him and love him over and over again. But I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have liked how rough and gentle he was with me. I shouldn't have liked how dominating and submissive he was. But I did. Sean let out a soft yawn and I went to walk away. I felt a soft hand touch mine and so I stopped. Sean interlaced his fingers with mine.

"...When you walk away...the roses start to fade...and the light goes dim..." Sean murmured. He was singing in his sleep. I turned to face him as he slowly pulled me over to the bed. "When you say goodbye...the birds do not fly...and the water foes slim..." Aristel By Patrisha Banks was my favorite song. "But for you...when I grab your hand I'm telling you to stay....out f love...when I hold you close I'm saying I'm in pain..." Sean tickled his fingers up my arm as he pulled me into the bed with him.

His voice was beautiful. It sounded like he was actually singing the song with his heart. I felt like he was actually singing it to someone. To me. And meaning it. "Lay down with me...I'll sing to you...until you sleep...and take my heart into your dreams..." I began to think about how Sean and I use to be such good friends. We use to be so close and then...we weren't. I missed him. I wanted him. I needed him.

But... I couldn't have him back. He'd changed too dramatically. "Lay down with me." Sean's voice brings me out of my thought. "What?" I say. "I want you to lay down with me." Sean told me. "But..." I couldn't think of an excuse. It's not like I wanted one, though. "But nothing. I didn't ask you. Lay down with me, Fox." Now I know my normal self would get smart and have an attitude about the way he was talking to me, but his voice was different.

It wasn't mean. It wasn't angry. It was demanding. And sexy, might I add. His voice was so just ugh. He had this way of telling me what he wanted and making me want to give it to him. And I loved it. When he said "Lay down with me, Fox" he said it in such a deep and demanding tone. He sounded like he needed me to lay down with him. Sean made me want to please him with those eyes and that voice.

Sean made his needs my needs because I wanted to give him what he needed. Exactly how he wanted it. And right then, he needed me to lay down with him. And I was gonna lay down with him. I crawl into the bed next to him and he wrapped his arms around me. I was facing him and rested my head on his chest. He'd let go of my hand and placed it on my lower back. "Mmm." A shiver rolled down my back when he did that and his hand felt so good there.

I just couldn't hold it in. He chuckled and whispered in my ear, "That feels good, hm?" as he began to rub lower. "Seeaann..." I murmured reaching to remove his hand. He grabbed my hand with his free one and put it back in front of me as he started to tease. I bit my lip as his hands explored my body. "You've got a nice body, Fox..." He said. Then he lowered his voice to a growl and said into my neck, "What I would do to it." That sent a quiver down my spine and I felt butterflies formed in my stomach.

Sean lifts my chin with two fingers and stares deep into my eyes. They were focused and full of need. He starts leaning in and I let him. His lips brush across mine but then there's a bang at the door. Sean pulls away and curses under his breath. "Shit." He mutters. But he didn't get up just yet. "Sean, I-" he looks at me but there's another bang at the door. Sean sighs an annoyed sigh. "Hold that thought, Fox." Sean got up out of the bed and left the room. I rolled over and sat up.

I'd almost let Sean kiss me. After him being so mean and abusive, again did I let him make me weak. He'd almost gotten me. He almost had me. I was about to fall into his little trap, again. Sean seriously made me want to let him touch me. And pleasure me. How did he do that? Why did he do that? All he was going to do was try to kill me again. I didn't understand.