BBC Ǥʰ𝐎sтS | incorrect quotes

5

Robin: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Humphrey: >: O language
Thomas: Yeah watch your fucking language
Mary: OKAY WHO TAUGHT THOMAS THE FUCK WORD?
Julian: 'The fuck word'.
Alison: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Thomas: Oh my god they censored it
Julian: Say fuck, Alison.
Thomas: Do it, Alison.Say fuck.

--

*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Kitty: Thanks fam!
Captain: Oh no.
Pat: *cries* I love you too.
Alison: Sounds fake, but okay.
Mary: *A flustered mess*
Humphrey: Can I get a refund?

--

*The squad is over at Kitty's house*
Julian: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Kitty: ... N-No...
Kitty, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Julian, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Captain: I see a-
Kitty, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Julian: Oh, well I-
Kitty: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Kitty, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Robin: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Thomas: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Kitty: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Kitty: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Kitty, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Kitty: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Alison, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Kitty:
Julian: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Kitty:
Kitty, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

--

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Mary: I will not let you down.
Alison: Sounds fun.
Thomas: K.
Robin: No, I'm fucking not.
Captain: Do I have to be?
Julian: Please god, I am so tired.

--

Mary: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Julian: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
Mary: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Captain: Actually I did the math, Julian would have $225, not $0.15.
Julian: Fam I'm right here....
Thomas: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Mary: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Thomas: Sorry I only have a dollar
Mary: :(
Captain: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Julian would have $22, 500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Thomas: If I had $22, 500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Captain: You can buy anything you want with $22, 500
Robin: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Captain: Apply juice to what
Alison: Directly to the forehead
Julian: Great chat everyone