BBC Ǥʰ𝐎sтS | incorrect quotes

9

Thomas: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
Mike: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
Kitty: A realist sees a freight train.
Humphrey: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

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Julian: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
Julian: A stab wound.

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Robin: Two years ago, I married my best friend.
Robin: Mary is still mad about it, but me and Humphrey were drunk and thought it was funny.

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Alison: What kinds of sounds annoy you?
Mary: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?
Alison, now interested: Lets say imaginary.
Mary: Spiders wearing flip flops.

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Julian: *sighs*
Kitty: You bored?
Julian: Yeah.
Kitty: Wanna start drama for no reason?
Julian: I thought you'd never ask.

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Thomas: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.
Mike: Wow, I've gotta hear this.
Thomas: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.
Mike: You forgot pride.
Thomas: No, I'm pretty proud of this.